I have failed to win her heart

Dear aunt,
I have failed to win the heart of a woman I love. She is a caring and loving nurse. Her husband is a doctor, but doesn’t stay around. I have used several methods to win her, but in vain. What should I do to win this lady? Please help me.
Chris

Dear Chris,
Being attracted to a woman is normal, but the way you handle your feelings matters. It is irresponsible for you to believe that you can approach every woman you are attracted to.

The lady you are attracted to is married and you are aware of it. The fact that you are out to use her husband’s absence to seduce her shows you are not looking for any serious commitment, but just fun for the moment. Remember, a relationship is about emotional fulfillment and you might not succeed at seducing somebody’s wife, unless there is an emotional vacuum in her marriage. The fact that her husband doesn’t stay around doesn’t mean she is emotionally starved. No serious woman wants to be used for mere sexual satisfaction. Have you thought about the consequences of being sexually involved with a married woman? You better think twice.


Dear Aunt,
I have been seeing my boyfriend for almost two years and we love each other very much. He works upcountry while I am based in Kampala. When I was still at campus, I started seeing someone else to kill boredom. I realised that something was not right with me because I started thinking about this second catch all the time. I then told him not to call me again. It is now almost three months and I realise that I miss him so much that I cannot settle. What do I do?

Jessica

Dear Jessica,
You sound inconsistent when you claim to be in love with your boyfriend yet you are seeing another man. Do you see men as people who can be used to ‘kill boredom’ and dumped later?

You haven’t mentioned how intimate you became with your ‘second catch’, but thinking about him might be an indication of deep emotional attachment. What you are experiencing is a feeling of loss; an emotional reaction to a broken relationship. Remember a relationship has emotional implications and you cannot just switch it on and off like a water tap. You need to make an independent decision and settle in one relationship. It seems your boyfriend’s absence is causing a huge emotional vacuum in your life that you are failing to deal with. How often does your boyfriend call while he is upcountry? Have you ever discussed this problem with him? Being in multiple relationships does not just have serious health risks but also tears you apart emotionally. Make up your mind and get more serious.

Send your problems to Dear Aunt, Intimate at the New Vision, P.O Box 9815 Kampala or intimate@newvision.co.ug