Of Kony and headlines

Jan 07, 2005

UGANDA’S No1 COLUMNIST... INFORMED, CONTROVERSIAL AND PROVOCATIVE<br><br>Reading the unreconditioned drivel (as in untreated sewage) concerning the so-called Peace Talks between the Uganda government and the internationally recognised terrorist Kony group (aka LRA), your columnist was rendered a

UGANDA’S No1 COLUMNIST... INFORMED, CONTROVERSIAL AND PROVOCATIVE

John Nagenda

Reading the unreconditioned drivel (as in untreated sewage) concerning the so-called Peace Talks between the Uganda government and the internationally recognised terrorist Kony group (aka LRA), your columnist was rendered almost speechless but a speechless columnist is useless to man or beast.

The signs were ominous when The New Vision on Tuesday led with the screaming headline: “Bgombe talks to Kony, Otti”. Goodness me! This non-event statement was on par with “Small earthquake in Chile, not many dead!”: the classic one always used to student journalists on how not to write headlines.

Would perhaps the one the next day be to the tune that Mr Kony had had a good bowel movement, or Mr Otti a toothache? In any case it was of no measurable importance that Mrs B had talked to the two terrorists; she had been doing this at regular intervals. What mattered was that it had not led to the Peace Talks. Indeed it had led to nowhere in particular.

Incidentally, when the terrorists did a no-show at the signing, and Mediator Bigombe went to a “secret address” to find out why, she showed remarkable naivety, however well intentioned. A better, and fairer, option would have been to insist that the LRA came to the appointed place and announce there that they needed more time.

Bending over backwards as Bigombe did here, and indeed Government has often done in its dealings with the LRA, is all very well, but past a certain degree it can lead to the snapping of the vertebrae!

I can’t have been the only one to applaud President Museveni’s return to his usual decisiveness when he announced the permanent ending of the ceasefire. I regretted a bit his leaving open of a door to further talks, but overseas, if “serious” Konyites (surely a contradiction in terms!) were so minded. Gangs of these would surely break the bank if they came weekly to be taken to luxurious international hotels outside Uganda.

Oh well, let’s cross that bridge when we come to it! And by taking advice from ex-Konyites who have surrendered or been captured, we can the better establish the importance, or otherwise, of those who say they want to talk.

But if you suppose Museveni was given much credit for his own continuing benevolence in dealing with the LRA, you are much mistaken! Even that balanced man US Ambassador Jimmy Kolker was not quoted on Wednesday in his speech as singling him out.

Bigombe, on the other hand, he praised to the skies. And by regretting the breakdown of the talks in the manner he did, was Kolker employing a straight face? If so, can he be asked about the breakdown of the peace talks in Iraq, resulting in hundreds of deaths per week? (Talks, what talks? Never!)

On Thursday, Vision came out with another waste of a front page headline: “Donors meet Rugunda on Kony talks”. So? (And incredibly enough the accompanying photograph showed one of the diplomats coming out of the meeting in shirtsleeves, in other words jacketless! (I say, old chap!)

Meanwhile in much smaller type: “LRA chief releases family”, The New Vision had the story with real meat. It concerned LRA “army commander” Laska Lukwiya sending his family home. The two wives, Doreen Lanyero and Margaret Angee, 25 and 23 respectively, came with their five children, aged between three and 10.

You could imagine soldiers at the battle of Alamo during the American Civil War, gallantly doing the same thing. In other words the game is up, and let the fighting warriors die if they must but the women and children must survive to carry on with the business of living. Pity The Vision did not see the big story at the end of its nose. But that is opinion.

Its drab cousin The Monitor can always go the extra mile to do worse. Yesterday its front page headline was, “African Union to mediate Kony talks”. Perhaps so, perhaps not. The very first sentence stated, “The African Union has offered to mediate…”, and went on, “Mr Patrick Mazimhaka was expected in the country yesterday to present a peace proposal to President Yoweri Museveni.” In other words it was not a done deal.

But why stop a catchy headline for mere accuracy! Monitor should go down on its knee to beg for the return of The Seven who left it to start The Observer.
******************

Reading The Daily Telegraph of yesterday I was struck afresh by the way in which UK Premier Tony Blair seems embarked downward along the spiralling road to political madness.

Although it was always said that he and his Chancellor [Minister of Finance] Gordon Brown agreed to work together on the tacit understanding that the latter would succeed him in the premiership, Blair seems determined to change all that. Indeed he has even refused to offer any assurance, according to The Telegraph, that Brown would remain as Chancellor.

This will certainly weaken the unity of those in the Labour Party. It would be calamitous for the coming elections, probably in the first week of May, if it were not for the fact that the Conservative Party is breathing like a patient about to expire.

Those of us who started taking a close look at British politics in the earliest ‘60s remember the duel between Premier Wilson and Number Two George Brown. That one ended badly, and Labour went into terminal decline.

Some put Blair’s new condition down to his dogged (pun intended) fawning to President Bush; others to rumoured hatred of Brown by Mrs Blair. Watch this space.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});