Swazi’s King Mswati III, 13 not out!
TB, this King Mswati III, just who on earth is he for I have never heard of him? And where exactly is his kingdom?
King mswati III
TB, this King Mswati III, just who on earth is he for I have never heard of him? And where exactly is his kingdom?
For the sake of Idle Notes, let’s dispense with his title and just call him Mswati – I don’t think he would really mind. Anyway, Mswati is the king of the tiny impoverished southern African nation of Swaziland.
Ah, I see. This Mswati chap, is he into cricket, for in your headline you have him at 13 not out. Do you think he will go on to score a century and what team does he play for?
I think you are going off the track, so let me clarify. When I say Mswati is 13 not out, I am not referring to his antics on the cricket pitch. Rather, Mswati has picked himself yet another bride. His 13th at that.
Are you telling me that Mswati has 13 wives? And another thing TB, I suppose he has children - how many does he have?
The last census that was conducted by the royal household puts the figure tentatively at 24, but I am certain the figure will not end there. If anything, it is set to hit the skies because he has a number of countless wives who have yet to bear him any children.
TB, how does Mswati decide on a bride? Does he take her out on a date to the local restaurant, shower her with flowers and whisper sweet nothings into her ear?
I have never been to Swaziland nor do I know what happens in the royal household. However, I gather that if he is at a function and his roving eyes take a fancy to you, that is it. You are summoned, given the once over and the rest as they say is history.
But TB, I consider myself a hard man. I have a wife and a mistress who both wear me out. How does he handle the 13 women? Do you think he has a rota system for them?
I don’t think we really need to know about your failures between the sheets, but as I said earlier on, I am not privy to the way Mswati’s household works and whether or not he has them on a rota system. One thing I do know is that each of the wives has a palace and I guess if he is in the neighbourhood, he pops in for a stint of ‘rest and recreation’.
But Mswati is still a young man and at 36 years of age, he still has the stamina to satisfy all of them.
I understand some of his subjects are not happy with him for snapping up all the young virgins. Should he be concerned?
I think you have got it wrong. His subjects don’t give a hoot as to how many wives he takes on. They are concerned about his spending. Last year, he spent $500,000 on a luxury Maybach car, which has TV, DVD, 21-speaker surround system, fridge among other things. He is also spending a further $16 million to refurbish the palaces of ten of his wives.
Do you think you will be going down for the wedding?
I hope so. You see, when the king is being entertained, a whole host of nubile virgins with pointed breasts are paraded before him.
As they dance before him their breasts do not move and flap about because they are firm and tight.
Now with that in mind, of course I have to be there - to see for myself, if possible to feel them and if God grants me my wish to return to Uganda with one of them!
When you say ‘feel’, what exactly do you mean?
To feel the pointed breasts! Does that answer your question?
tbukumunhe@newvision.co.ug
Ends
TB, this King Mswati III, just who on earth is he for I have never heard of him? And where exactly is his kingdom?
For the sake of Idle Notes, let’s dispense with his title and just call him Mswati – I don’t think he would really mind. Anyway, Mswati is the king of the tiny impoverished southern African nation of Swaziland.
Ah, I see. This Mswati chap, is he into cricket, for in your headline you have him at 13 not out. Do you think he will go on to score a century and what team does he play for?
I think you are going off the track, so let me clarify. When I say Mswati is 13 not out, I am not referring to his antics on the cricket pitch. Rather, Mswati has picked himself yet another bride. His 13th at that.
Are you telling me that Mswati has 13 wives? And another thing TB, I suppose he has children - how many does he have?
The last census that was conducted by the royal household puts the figure tentatively at 24, but I am certain the figure will not end there. If anything, it is set to hit the skies because he has a number of countless wives who have yet to bear him any children.
TB, how does Mswati decide on a bride? Does he take her out on a date to the local restaurant, shower her with flowers and whisper sweet nothings into her ear?
I have never been to Swaziland nor do I know what happens in the royal household. However, I gather that if he is at a function and his roving eyes take a fancy to you, that is it. You are summoned, given the once over and the rest as they say is history.
But TB, I consider myself a hard man. I have a wife and a mistress who both wear me out. How does he handle the 13 women? Do you think he has a rota system for them?
I don’t think we really need to know about your failures between the sheets, but as I said earlier on, I am not privy to the way Mswati’s household works and whether or not he has them on a rota system. One thing I do know is that each of the wives has a palace and I guess if he is in the neighbourhood, he pops in for a stint of ‘rest and recreation’.
But Mswati is still a young man and at 36 years of age, he still has the stamina to satisfy all of them.
I understand some of his subjects are not happy with him for snapping up all the young virgins. Should he be concerned?
I think you have got it wrong. His subjects don’t give a hoot as to how many wives he takes on. They are concerned about his spending. Last year, he spent $500,000 on a luxury Maybach car, which has TV, DVD, 21-speaker surround system, fridge among other things. He is also spending a further $16 million to refurbish the palaces of ten of his wives.
Do you think you will be going down for the wedding?
I hope so. You see, when the king is being entertained, a whole host of nubile virgins with pointed breasts are paraded before him.
As they dance before him their breasts do not move and flap about because they are firm and tight.
Now with that in mind, of course I have to be there - to see for myself, if possible to feel them and if God grants me my wish to return to Uganda with one of them!
When you say ‘feel’, what exactly do you mean?
To feel the pointed breasts! Does that answer your question?
tbukumunhe@newvision.co.ug
Ends