Polygamy not the problem
A number of organisations and individuals have called for the abolition of polygamy. Here in Uganda, polygamy is the practice of one man marrying one woman at the same time.
By Joseph Bbosa
A number of organisations and individuals have called for the abolition of polygamy. Here in Uganda, polygamy is the practice of one man marrying one woman at the same time.
Two people intending to marry may choose to do so under the Marriage Act, in which case the man will be legally bound to have only one wife, the Marriage and Divorce of Mohammedans Act, or the Marriage of African Act. Under the last two, the marriage is potentially polygamous. Whatever type a couple may choose, there are always formalities to be fulfilled if the marriage is to be legally recognised.
In all the types, there are consequences. In reality the law is followed more in breach than in observance.
My observation is that the Ugandan society has a very fluid concept of marriage. We must, therefore, have a common understanding of marriage before we can talk of polygamy.
Language is partly to blame for the confusion. It is not unusual for a couple who has met for the first time at a dance and agreed to spend a night together to begin referring to each other as husband and wife (mukyaala wange, mwami wange), even on their way to their place of aboard. And, from then, if they decide to live together, a few months later, neighbours, who may even know how they got together, will begin calling them husband and wife. Once they get a child, probably unplanned for (Sylvia Tamale says 90% of people who have sex have no intention of having a child), no one will ever question their marital status.
Now, some men who choose monogamous marriages may have “a little something on the side†but that does not turn that into a polygamous marriage. Our languages simply lack a word for that arrangement, but for certain, these types of relationships are not polygamous. If that is what those calling for abolition of polygamy wish to do away with, they better not even try.
We must assume, however, that those who advocate the abolition of polygamous marriages are not happy with one or some of the consequences of such marriages. Even before we consider such consequences, we should have some idea about the size of the married population which is engaged in polygamous marriages and assess their adverse effect on society as a whole.
Without any statistics to back me up and basing on pure observation and conjecture, I believe that currently the majority of Ugandan “marriages†do not fall under the legal categories I have mentioned and therefore the majority of children in Uganda are born out of wedlock. The cause of this is partly the casual way our society has come to define marriage and partly the lack of practical legal consequences of child-bearing on the parents.
Regardless of the type of marriage, when a couple decides to go their separate ways, there are no set expectations from each other and therefore no obligations. There are no practical legal consequences, especially upon separation.
In other systems when a couple with children separates, there must be arrangements either imposed by court or by mutual agreement regarding the custody of the children and support of the wife. In practice, in Uganda, one cannot reasonably predict where or how the children will end up. And almost invariably the wife may not expect any financial support from the husband.
In my view we should not be overly concerned with the question of polygamy or monogamy.
Our concern should be with innocent children who have no say in the matter. Those who bring children into the world, under whatever relationship, should be made to understand that apart from the moral or religious obligations, there are legal implications and they determine the quality of citizens this country will have. Society, through the State, has an interest in the children, their education, health and upbringing. The welfare of children should be our concern.
I wish to ask those who seek to abolish polygamy what they wish to achieve. What do they expect to see happen the day after polygamy is declared illegal? I trust that by declaring it illegal, they do not mean criminalising it.
In any case, what is polygamy in a society where the very concept of marriage is so fluid? The majority of what we see are called marriages for lack of a better name. Let us concentrate on the parental obligations to the children.
The writer is a man, just man
A number of organisations and individuals have called for the abolition of polygamy. Here in Uganda, polygamy is the practice of one man marrying one woman at the same time.
Two people intending to marry may choose to do so under the Marriage Act, in which case the man will be legally bound to have only one wife, the Marriage and Divorce of Mohammedans Act, or the Marriage of African Act. Under the last two, the marriage is potentially polygamous. Whatever type a couple may choose, there are always formalities to be fulfilled if the marriage is to be legally recognised.
In all the types, there are consequences. In reality the law is followed more in breach than in observance.
My observation is that the Ugandan society has a very fluid concept of marriage. We must, therefore, have a common understanding of marriage before we can talk of polygamy.
Language is partly to blame for the confusion. It is not unusual for a couple who has met for the first time at a dance and agreed to spend a night together to begin referring to each other as husband and wife (mukyaala wange, mwami wange), even on their way to their place of aboard. And, from then, if they decide to live together, a few months later, neighbours, who may even know how they got together, will begin calling them husband and wife. Once they get a child, probably unplanned for (Sylvia Tamale says 90% of people who have sex have no intention of having a child), no one will ever question their marital status.
Now, some men who choose monogamous marriages may have “a little something on the side†but that does not turn that into a polygamous marriage. Our languages simply lack a word for that arrangement, but for certain, these types of relationships are not polygamous. If that is what those calling for abolition of polygamy wish to do away with, they better not even try.
We must assume, however, that those who advocate the abolition of polygamous marriages are not happy with one or some of the consequences of such marriages. Even before we consider such consequences, we should have some idea about the size of the married population which is engaged in polygamous marriages and assess their adverse effect on society as a whole.
Without any statistics to back me up and basing on pure observation and conjecture, I believe that currently the majority of Ugandan “marriages†do not fall under the legal categories I have mentioned and therefore the majority of children in Uganda are born out of wedlock. The cause of this is partly the casual way our society has come to define marriage and partly the lack of practical legal consequences of child-bearing on the parents.
Regardless of the type of marriage, when a couple decides to go their separate ways, there are no set expectations from each other and therefore no obligations. There are no practical legal consequences, especially upon separation.
In other systems when a couple with children separates, there must be arrangements either imposed by court or by mutual agreement regarding the custody of the children and support of the wife. In practice, in Uganda, one cannot reasonably predict where or how the children will end up. And almost invariably the wife may not expect any financial support from the husband.
In my view we should not be overly concerned with the question of polygamy or monogamy.
Our concern should be with innocent children who have no say in the matter. Those who bring children into the world, under whatever relationship, should be made to understand that apart from the moral or religious obligations, there are legal implications and they determine the quality of citizens this country will have. Society, through the State, has an interest in the children, their education, health and upbringing. The welfare of children should be our concern.
I wish to ask those who seek to abolish polygamy what they wish to achieve. What do they expect to see happen the day after polygamy is declared illegal? I trust that by declaring it illegal, they do not mean criminalising it.
In any case, what is polygamy in a society where the very concept of marriage is so fluid? The majority of what we see are called marriages for lack of a better name. Let us concentrate on the parental obligations to the children.
The writer is a man, just man