Kissing or sex: What best proves her love?
THE case in my clinic today is a pathetic South African man languishing in prison. The Northern Cape guy felt like raping someone and broke into a woman’s house on Monday.
DRLOVE with Hilary Bainemigisha
THE case in my clinic today is a pathetic South African man languishing in prison. The Northern Cape guy felt like raping someone and broke into a woman’s house on Monday. According to Sapa news agency, he grabbed a woman in her own sitting room and proceeded to effect his vicious crime. In the process, he forcefully tried to kiss her. The Galeshewe woman on Tidimalo Street in Kimberley, Northern Cape bit it off.
Police found quite a respectable chunk of human tongue in an outside dustbin. They also found the man, who appeared to have lost his tongue receiving medical attention at a local hospital. But instead of handing over to him his tongue, police gave him cuffs, a straw mat at Kimberley police station and a booking at a magistrate’s court.
Serves him right. A rape is bad enough but if it is accompanied by a forced kiss, it is like desecrating a murder victim. It must be revolting to kiss a rapist - more so, one reeking alcohol, cigarette smoke and drugs, eergh!
Kissing is sacred. It is invasive, penetrative and its natural host is an area we would never think of placing things we don’t like. The mouth is absolutely essential to survival - If the wrong thing passes through there, you are doomed. A rapist who kisses should be placed six feet under immediately.
For a long time now, we have been told sex was the pinnacle of love. Many adolescents have lost their virginity in attempts to prove their emotions. But along the way, the truth kept glaring at us, only that we were too prejudiced to notice it. Still it is not news that people who play sex are not necessarily in love.
Sex may be for money as in prostitution or just perverts as in rapists and bestiality (sex with animals).
I wonder whether people do kiss the prostitutes or animals. Do they? That means there is something they consider more personal, more intimate and more meaningful than sex. And that is a romantic kiss — the most intimate intercourse between humans, the tremendously intimate fun you can have with your clothes on. One you can only share with a person you love.
I rank it topmost in the table of intimacy exchange because is just too personal. By the time you are kissing someone, you are right up next to them, in their personal space, exposing yourself to their smell and feel. You can touch them, smell them, taste them and breath with them. Nothing proves acceptance more than this. Not even sex.
So, if you kiss, you don’t need sex to prove love. You will have voted ‘Yes’ already. It is therefore wrong to regard kissing as a mere knock on the door, to be rushed through to the next item on the agenda. Take a kiss seriously, work on your oral hygiene and vote with your mouth. That way, you save your sex for the right time.
THE case in my clinic today is a pathetic South African man languishing in prison. The Northern Cape guy felt like raping someone and broke into a woman’s house on Monday. According to Sapa news agency, he grabbed a woman in her own sitting room and proceeded to effect his vicious crime. In the process, he forcefully tried to kiss her. The Galeshewe woman on Tidimalo Street in Kimberley, Northern Cape bit it off.
Police found quite a respectable chunk of human tongue in an outside dustbin. They also found the man, who appeared to have lost his tongue receiving medical attention at a local hospital. But instead of handing over to him his tongue, police gave him cuffs, a straw mat at Kimberley police station and a booking at a magistrate’s court.
Serves him right. A rape is bad enough but if it is accompanied by a forced kiss, it is like desecrating a murder victim. It must be revolting to kiss a rapist - more so, one reeking alcohol, cigarette smoke and drugs, eergh!
Kissing is sacred. It is invasive, penetrative and its natural host is an area we would never think of placing things we don’t like. The mouth is absolutely essential to survival - If the wrong thing passes through there, you are doomed. A rapist who kisses should be placed six feet under immediately.
For a long time now, we have been told sex was the pinnacle of love. Many adolescents have lost their virginity in attempts to prove their emotions. But along the way, the truth kept glaring at us, only that we were too prejudiced to notice it. Still it is not news that people who play sex are not necessarily in love.
Sex may be for money as in prostitution or just perverts as in rapists and bestiality (sex with animals).
I wonder whether people do kiss the prostitutes or animals. Do they? That means there is something they consider more personal, more intimate and more meaningful than sex. And that is a romantic kiss — the most intimate intercourse between humans, the tremendously intimate fun you can have with your clothes on. One you can only share with a person you love.
I rank it topmost in the table of intimacy exchange because is just too personal. By the time you are kissing someone, you are right up next to them, in their personal space, exposing yourself to their smell and feel. You can touch them, smell them, taste them and breath with them. Nothing proves acceptance more than this. Not even sex.
So, if you kiss, you don’t need sex to prove love. You will have voted ‘Yes’ already. It is therefore wrong to regard kissing as a mere knock on the door, to be rushed through to the next item on the agenda. Take a kiss seriously, work on your oral hygiene and vote with your mouth. That way, you save your sex for the right time.