Don’t wait, go for him

Aug 31, 2005

I can understand that many girls prefer to remain unmarried today. But for a girl to stay single, frustrated and available till cows return home, is an act of irresponsibility.

By Hilary Bainemigisha
I can understand that many girls prefer to remain unmarried today. But for a girl to stay single, frustrated and available till cows return home, is an act of irresponsibility.
Ask the men: Many have ended up marrying women who posted below 40% on their qualification tests. That shows that in marketing, it is not the best item that sells but that whose owner has the best strategies.
If a bloke in town can convince you to buy a car that shares an expiry date with the defunct Project Management Unit of the health ministry, why would you fail to land the man you want?
In the past, it took hard work. Parents made sure the daughter tilled land near the pathway as a way of advertising her. Later, it only took girls some naivety, shyness and a display of innocence to get her off the shelf. These days, it needs more work. In the modern world, marketing is much more vital than the product itself.
Okay, you can still get saved and pray for a man, get rich and marry one or be lucky to be mined out of your camouflage layers. But for the rest, you have to do some marketing without appearing desperate, too open or too available.
Displaying your heart on a stall (mudaala) for the next customer can be demeaning and risks misinterpretation and heartbreak.
It is more frustrating than seeing people walk off just as you are clearing your throat to address a Democratic Party rally. If you have ever packaged your heart in honesty for a person who looked the other way, you know what I mean.
But you cannot keep on the shelves, accumulating dust, seeing neighbours being taken and maintain your confidence! The next thing you know will be jumping into the arms of the first man who smiles your way. And that looks like bad news.
In the modern world, you should not wait for men to choose you before you decide to love them. Handle your destiny, get the information across that a love with him would not be such a bad idea. How could you work together for this long and he still doesn’t know how hard your heart pumps by his mere presence?
A warm smile at him or the laughing aloud at his jokes are all good but passive baits which are outdated and can easily be ignored by a naïve guy. The real snares must force the man’s world to gravitate into the orbit of yours. And that takes courage and tact because you don’t want to be seen hawking your heart.
But you can politely ask him for a soft loan. Tell him you could have asked others but you found him more respectful and responsible. If he obliges, get closer by sharing some of your ‘problems’ about landlords and neighbours. Tell him those problems that don’t portray you as poor, desperate or frustrated. If he feels compelled to share his problems too, prepare for harvest. But return his money. If he cancels your debt or allows you more time, count him among the flies in the web.
You can then engulf him by asking him to lend a hand on such domestic problems as electricity in your place, noise in your car, some confusion about football or politics depending on his interest. Send him jokes on mail or SMS until you think he is close enough to pass a small secret on to. Any man who likes you will see this as an invitation into your space.
Dress up for him, display your neatness and taste of class in whatever interaction you make and let your contact be as frequent as possible. Befriend his friends and sisters to get their votes for you cannot rule out some secret family referendum. Take them out if you can and spread your charm through his close family members.
If he bites the bait, integrate your world further by investing with him and getting your relatives to mingle. Let the public get used to the two of you. By the time he notices the greener grass elsewhere, it will be too late to disentangle.
However, not all men will fly into your web. If the fish swim out, roll the net and cast it out on the other side. Remember, if the bloke in town can sell a rotten vehicle, why would you fail to market yourself?
Ends

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