A latest model digital camera or a lunch out at Sheraton Kampala Hotel: Which one would you prefer for your first date?
Donâ€™t rush! First read this story of Bob and his wife.
Donâ€™t rush! First read this story of Bob and his wife:
Once upon a time, my colleague, Bob and I got some money by a stroke of luck though I must say it had nothing to do with the global fund. In congruence with our adolescence inclination, we bought gifts; I remember it was a pair of nice female shoes each. We wrote female addresses on them and clicked â€˜sendâ€™. That was 19 years ago! Remember Bob?
Both our gift cargoes were delivered. I got a red carpet reception as a consequence, but Bob was not that graced. His object of admiration got so infuriated that she slapped a â€˜Return To Senderâ€™ order on the parcel and threatened to issue notice of motion for censorship. Yet the girl was not self-sustaining enough to reject a pair of new â€˜wheelsâ€™.
But like Mwenda, Bob was the type not to be put off without a blazing gun. He organised, met the girl over lunch and returned smiling. The two are now singing love songs and producing children. In the romance district, a dinner at Sheraton ousts the digital camera if it is your first date. If you are dating someone who measures gifts with a price tag, you may want to reconsider your dating priorities.
As Africans, we want something that can add to our possessions although we pretend that the more permanent the gift is, the more it would remind us of the sender. But, as in Bobâ€™s case, you should never give an item gift to a girl you have not confessed love to if your motive is a relationship. You may think that jewellry demonstrates great love for someone. Oh yes, it does.
But only for those who are already rolling. My gift was acceptable because I already had a romantic passport. But Bob had not applied and was hoping to soften the interviewerâ€™s heart. If you havenâ€™t offered yourself for elective office or behaved in a way that insinuates love, then even diamonds will fall short. A dignified girl will feel you are buying her heart. And even if she fancies you, she may feel uncomfortable accepting you and passing for a materialistic person.
The best way out is to start with a lunch or drink to see if you can start a relationship. It is even safer for you. Do not build bridges before being elected, first swear in as an MP. You may end up paying the TV tax before buying the TV.
In a survey done in UK about which gift would be the best to give a girl for the first date, most of the women preferred non-material gifts like an outing or lunch. They agreed that a guy who has not told you about his intentions should not send you jewellry, clothes or electronics. But he can ask you out for lunch or an evening drink.
Even for women, it is not advisable to accept material gifts from men you are not ready to roll with. The â€˜I did not ask for itâ€™ excuse will not work when the consequences come crashing in like a thunderbolt.
Although possessions are tempting, integrity comes first. If Bobâ€™s girl had received his gift before hearing his intention, her reputation would have been ruined. But her action impressed Bob and could have contributed to his getting serious.
Everyone wants to give gifts that are appreciated. After all, we are spending our time, money, or both on these gifts. In relationships, you want your gift to send the right message, get the right effect and be value for money. Respect the order.
Donâ€™t rush gifts to first date