She was 35, he was 20 when they got married
WITH today’s high divorce rates, the phrase “What God has put together, no man can put asunder†has lost meaning. It has been abused so much that nobody takes it seriously anymore, it’s all a farce. But not for Gertrude and Solomon Kato.
By Annah Natukunda
WITH today’s high divorce rates, the phrase “What God has put together, no man can put asunder†has lost meaning. It has been abused so much that nobody takes it seriously anymore, it’s all a farce. But not for Gertrude and Solomon Kato.
Despite differences that are a threat to marriages, Pastor Kato has been happily married to Gertrude for over 30 years. Theirs is a marriage that has unbalanced the old social order that the man must be older than his wife for marriage to work out.
Gertrude, now 67 years old, was 35 years old and Kato, now 53 years old, was 20, when they got married.
Kato is clearly proud of his family and when he talks about them, his face lights up with a broad smile.
“Marriage is from God. There is no formula for relating,†said the Kampala Pentecostal Church (KPC) pastor. Kato met his wife soon after he had completed his training at Mbale Bible School.
“A female friend in Kampala told me about Gertrude,†he recalls.
Not only is their age difference so big, but they also come from different socio-cultural backgrounds. Gertrude comes from Rwampara in Mbarara district in western Uganda, while Kato comes from Mbale. Tribal differences did not bother him because, as a born-again Christian, he believes marriage is meant to fulfil God’s programme.
“I was in Kampala for a Christian conference when we met. At that time, there were not many Christian girls in Mbale,†Kato says. Solomon and Gertrude wedded in 1973, a year-and-a-half after they met.
“I was 21 years old and she was in her 30s. Marriage in Christ is enjoyable. We did not look at the differences as disadvantages, but we saw them as springboards to take us forward,†Kato said in his office at KPC.
He says their marriage has flourished because they did not involve the whole clan or the society in it. “Marriage is between the two people involved and not the whole world. The world will fail you.â€
Gertrude found a problem because among her tribe, marrying a man of a different tribe was not acceptable.
“However, my mother was a Christian and she trusted me to do the right thing. She gladly accepted my choice,†Gertrude says, adding, “When my friend told me about Pastor, I did not say no outright but in my heart, I didn’t take her seriously. I was only being polite. I did not want to marry a poor man, I wanted a man who was well off.â€
“When I went back home, I started praying about it,†Gertrude said, pausing and closing her eyes as if to re-live the memory.
“I saw him in a vision and he beckoned me to him. I prayed again and God showed me how riches can come to nothing. I prayed a third time and still saw when I was with him in Mbale.â€
Gertrude then knew that it was God’s plan. It was the same God who had healed her after a long illness. Soon after, they were married and she moved to Mbale to start her family.
“At first we had nothing, but I knew we were blessed. Our children did not lack anything. My mother taught me to make crafts and I used to sell them to supplement my husband’s income,†she said before showing me a basket where white beads lay. Some of the beads were already joined with amazing creativity and formed a lovely design for the tablecloth she was making.
Gertrude still makes adornments, especially for brides to wear at traditional ceremonies like kuhingira, but now she only does it because she enjoys it.
The couple produced four children, but Unfortunately, one of them died while still a baby. Gertrude was 36 years when she gave birth to their first-born.
“I think my parents are perfect together. I have never heard them quarrel or even argue! When my boyfriend and I fought even when we were still dating, I thought it was abnormal,†said Hellen Karemera, their eldest daughter.
“My parents complement each other. My mother is talkative and likes to entertain everyone while my father is simply conversational,†Karemera adds.
To the Katos, marriage is about learning to forgive one another. Though most people put love at the top of the list for a relationship to work out, Pastor Kato believes that the one who forgives, is the one who loves.
“Although I’m older than my husband, I respect him. A man deserves to be held in higher esteem. Whether you have more money than him or he is smaller than you, you chose him,†Gertrude said.
Kato advises young people to stop hunting for beautiful faces saying, “One ought to look for the beauty of the heart.â€
Thirty years in marriage and Gertrude does not regret the choice of partner she made.
“I have seen all God’s promises to me come true. We have been blessed more than we had hoped for,†she says with a look of satisfaction.
WITH today’s high divorce rates, the phrase “What God has put together, no man can put asunder†has lost meaning. It has been abused so much that nobody takes it seriously anymore, it’s all a farce. But not for Gertrude and Solomon Kato.
Despite differences that are a threat to marriages, Pastor Kato has been happily married to Gertrude for over 30 years. Theirs is a marriage that has unbalanced the old social order that the man must be older than his wife for marriage to work out.
Gertrude, now 67 years old, was 35 years old and Kato, now 53 years old, was 20, when they got married.
Kato is clearly proud of his family and when he talks about them, his face lights up with a broad smile.
“Marriage is from God. There is no formula for relating,†said the Kampala Pentecostal Church (KPC) pastor. Kato met his wife soon after he had completed his training at Mbale Bible School.
“A female friend in Kampala told me about Gertrude,†he recalls.
Not only is their age difference so big, but they also come from different socio-cultural backgrounds. Gertrude comes from Rwampara in Mbarara district in western Uganda, while Kato comes from Mbale. Tribal differences did not bother him because, as a born-again Christian, he believes marriage is meant to fulfil God’s programme.
“I was in Kampala for a Christian conference when we met. At that time, there were not many Christian girls in Mbale,†Kato says. Solomon and Gertrude wedded in 1973, a year-and-a-half after they met.
“I was 21 years old and she was in her 30s. Marriage in Christ is enjoyable. We did not look at the differences as disadvantages, but we saw them as springboards to take us forward,†Kato said in his office at KPC.
He says their marriage has flourished because they did not involve the whole clan or the society in it. “Marriage is between the two people involved and not the whole world. The world will fail you.â€
Gertrude found a problem because among her tribe, marrying a man of a different tribe was not acceptable.
“However, my mother was a Christian and she trusted me to do the right thing. She gladly accepted my choice,†Gertrude says, adding, “When my friend told me about Pastor, I did not say no outright but in my heart, I didn’t take her seriously. I was only being polite. I did not want to marry a poor man, I wanted a man who was well off.â€
“When I went back home, I started praying about it,†Gertrude said, pausing and closing her eyes as if to re-live the memory.
“I saw him in a vision and he beckoned me to him. I prayed again and God showed me how riches can come to nothing. I prayed a third time and still saw when I was with him in Mbale.â€
Gertrude then knew that it was God’s plan. It was the same God who had healed her after a long illness. Soon after, they were married and she moved to Mbale to start her family.
“At first we had nothing, but I knew we were blessed. Our children did not lack anything. My mother taught me to make crafts and I used to sell them to supplement my husband’s income,†she said before showing me a basket where white beads lay. Some of the beads were already joined with amazing creativity and formed a lovely design for the tablecloth she was making.
Gertrude still makes adornments, especially for brides to wear at traditional ceremonies like kuhingira, but now she only does it because she enjoys it.
The couple produced four children, but Unfortunately, one of them died while still a baby. Gertrude was 36 years when she gave birth to their first-born.
“I think my parents are perfect together. I have never heard them quarrel or even argue! When my boyfriend and I fought even when we were still dating, I thought it was abnormal,†said Hellen Karemera, their eldest daughter.
“My parents complement each other. My mother is talkative and likes to entertain everyone while my father is simply conversational,†Karemera adds.
To the Katos, marriage is about learning to forgive one another. Though most people put love at the top of the list for a relationship to work out, Pastor Kato believes that the one who forgives, is the one who loves.
“Although I’m older than my husband, I respect him. A man deserves to be held in higher esteem. Whether you have more money than him or he is smaller than you, you chose him,†Gertrude said.
Kato advises young people to stop hunting for beautiful faces saying, “One ought to look for the beauty of the heart.â€
Thirty years in marriage and Gertrude does not regret the choice of partner she made.
“I have seen all God’s promises to me come true. We have been blessed more than we had hoped for,†she says with a look of satisfaction.