I am sick, tired of begging meetings
Oct 07, 2005
I do not know about you but I receive averagely 516 SMS messages a week and they are all invitations to wedding meetings.<br>This is probably the cause of all this stress I have been suffering lately, can you imagine somebody actually believes you are their friend and thus have to contribute to the
I do not know about you but I receive averagely 516 SMS messages a week and they are all invitations to wedding meetings.
This is probably the cause of all this stress I have been suffering lately, can you imagine somebody actually believes you are their friend and thus have to contribute to their wedding.
Kyokka Ugandans! They don’t even research on whether you had designs on the woman they are going to marry!
Then when you make the mistake of actually appearing at the meeting, you are subjected to what (for lack of a harsher word) I will call torture. You are fined and fined and fined and then you are made to make a pledge which most of the times is made under duress! Woe unto you if the pledge is not fulfilled on the ‘promised’ day. Your phone will ring off the hook; you would wonder why these chaps do not help our banks with debt collection services!
At the risk of being branded tribalistic, I have noticed that about 98% of chaps getting married today are from a particular region (no prize for guessing which one).
Well, last week I received perhaps the most interesting SMS inviting me to a meeting which read as thus; “Dear friend, you are invited to the wedding meeting of William Agisaba and Florence Agigaba to take place at Karoli gardens in Kamwokya…†I burst out laughing even before I finished reading the message because sincerely I do not know any Agisaba or even Agigaba, for that matter!
Which brings me to my point. Why would you inconvenience your hard-earned friends just because you want to sleep with that woman forever and make babies? I mean, if you don’t have money, just get your woman, take her to your house and LIVE (I really love the pun) together without inconveniencing us.
Can you imagine the entire daytime population of Kampala feeling like without them you would never have married your African Queen? Just imagine, you have a problem with somebody and then they remind you that they actually bought the under-wear you were wearing at your wedding? Why would I want someone to buy me socks? Or even a shirt?
I know some guys out there are probably thinking I have nuggu because I am not married but Lemme assure you. I am getting married. Yes, its true but I will not have wedding meetings. I will be very frank with you. No wedding meetings for me.
Only ‘begging meetings!’ Why should I hide under the word ‘wedding’ when actually I mean ‘begging?’. You first ‘beg’ your kyana, and then you ‘beg’ your buddies to contribute for you having begged your bird and to do this, you do not need a wedding meeting.
Lemme tell you a story –– a true story by the way. There is a chap who intends to have a ballistic wedding characterised by Wavah’s chauffeur-driven Limos, hosted at a ballistic venue, with all the glitz, girls and glamour.
He is busy inconveniencing us with wedding meeting invitations and when I got up close and personal, I asked him to frankly tell me how much he personally has on his account, he blatantly told me that he has ‘half a million shillings!’
I swear, felt like spitting in his face! The dwanzie, expects you and me to fund his wedding as if he will invite us to consummate with him? Gimme a break!
Anyway, I am sick and tired of wedding meetings. In fact I hate them, I prefer wedding matings-the act of mating someone you met at someone’s wedding meeting! That is the reason I go to wedding matings –– Not meetings!
Harry Sagara is Executive Director, Bullseye! Creative.
This is probably the cause of all this stress I have been suffering lately, can you imagine somebody actually believes you are their friend and thus have to contribute to their wedding.
Kyokka Ugandans! They don’t even research on whether you had designs on the woman they are going to marry!
Then when you make the mistake of actually appearing at the meeting, you are subjected to what (for lack of a harsher word) I will call torture. You are fined and fined and fined and then you are made to make a pledge which most of the times is made under duress! Woe unto you if the pledge is not fulfilled on the ‘promised’ day. Your phone will ring off the hook; you would wonder why these chaps do not help our banks with debt collection services!
At the risk of being branded tribalistic, I have noticed that about 98% of chaps getting married today are from a particular region (no prize for guessing which one).
Well, last week I received perhaps the most interesting SMS inviting me to a meeting which read as thus; “Dear friend, you are invited to the wedding meeting of William Agisaba and Florence Agigaba to take place at Karoli gardens in Kamwokya…†I burst out laughing even before I finished reading the message because sincerely I do not know any Agisaba or even Agigaba, for that matter!
Which brings me to my point. Why would you inconvenience your hard-earned friends just because you want to sleep with that woman forever and make babies? I mean, if you don’t have money, just get your woman, take her to your house and LIVE (I really love the pun) together without inconveniencing us.
Can you imagine the entire daytime population of Kampala feeling like without them you would never have married your African Queen? Just imagine, you have a problem with somebody and then they remind you that they actually bought the under-wear you were wearing at your wedding? Why would I want someone to buy me socks? Or even a shirt?
I know some guys out there are probably thinking I have nuggu because I am not married but Lemme assure you. I am getting married. Yes, its true but I will not have wedding meetings. I will be very frank with you. No wedding meetings for me.
Only ‘begging meetings!’ Why should I hide under the word ‘wedding’ when actually I mean ‘begging?’. You first ‘beg’ your kyana, and then you ‘beg’ your buddies to contribute for you having begged your bird and to do this, you do not need a wedding meeting.
Lemme tell you a story –– a true story by the way. There is a chap who intends to have a ballistic wedding characterised by Wavah’s chauffeur-driven Limos, hosted at a ballistic venue, with all the glitz, girls and glamour.
He is busy inconveniencing us with wedding meeting invitations and when I got up close and personal, I asked him to frankly tell me how much he personally has on his account, he blatantly told me that he has ‘half a million shillings!’
I swear, felt like spitting in his face! The dwanzie, expects you and me to fund his wedding as if he will invite us to consummate with him? Gimme a break!
Anyway, I am sick and tired of wedding meetings. In fact I hate them, I prefer wedding matings-the act of mating someone you met at someone’s wedding meeting! That is the reason I go to wedding matings –– Not meetings!
Harry Sagara is Executive Director, Bullseye! Creative.