My holidaymaker is too idle
Nov 27, 2005
DEAR Jamesa,<br>Your Parenting column is very helpful, especially to the young parents who face various challenges on parenting. I have a 13-year-old girl who has just completed her PLE. She now stays at home with a mature housegirl but she spends the whole day watching TV and gossiping with the ho
DEAR Jamesa,
Your Parenting column is very helpful, especially to the young parents who face various challenges on parenting. I have a 13-year-old girl who has just completed her PLE. She now stays at home with a mature housegirl but she spends the whole day watching TV and gossiping with the housegirl and builders who are renovating our house. This kind of redundancy is worrying me. What do I do?
MMJ - Kampala.
Dear MMJ,
Excessive idleness is a great challenge many parents of holidaymakers face. At her age, your daughter cannot program herself without your help. You should have thought about the strategies of keeping her occupied before her holidays began.
She is doing what any teenager who lacks a program would do.
What you view as redundancy is your daughter’s way of keeping herself occupied. Did you know that nature abhors a vacuum? For a child who was initially occupied with studies, sitting at home without any serious task is a total boredom.
Watching television and gossiping with the housegirl are not problems in themselves but symptoms of a problem. Beneath that gossiping and TV watching is a teenager who is confused and wondering what to do with her time.
There is a gaping vacuum that needs to be filled and you are responsible for this vacuum. Your teenager will sit back at home for two solid months! Have you planned for this duration? Let us explore some ways of keeping your holidaymaker busy:
Acquisition of skills
If you are close to Kampala, you could have her enroll for computer classes. Computer is an indispensable skill that every child deserves to acquire. However, the lessons shouldn’t be as strenuous as regular school lessons. It should all be a source of fun as she explores a new world of knowledge.
How about cookery skills? Catering institutions like YMCA usually arrange cookery lessons for holidaymakers. This kind of training could enable your daughter to rediscover her talents as she acquires new skills.
Your daughter could also acquire skills in any foreign language of her choice. Do not push it down her throat if she isn’t interested because she might not benefit from the lessons.
Train your daughter to become responsible
Why would a 13-year-old girl sit idly as a house helper battles with household chores? This style of parenting that goes an extra mile to ‘baby-sit’ teenagers is certainly unacceptable.
There are so many household tasks that your daughter could do. If the presence of a housegirl is a hindrance to her learning, then send your house helper on leave to give her room. When will she learn how to prepare meals, clean the house, wash clothes and organise the home in your absence?
You could be inflicting lifetime damage to this girl’s personality. Idleness will not earn a living anywhere. Education is not just about books and scoring high grades.
Holiday is a golden opportunity for you to teach your daughter that there is life outside the classroom. I guess you wouldn’t wish to bring up a child who expects the housegirl to make her bed and wash her clothes. Let your daughter know that a home is not a place for redundancy. Give her the skill of seeing work and doing it without being told or reminded.
jwagwau@newvision.co.ug
077-631032
Your Parenting column is very helpful, especially to the young parents who face various challenges on parenting. I have a 13-year-old girl who has just completed her PLE. She now stays at home with a mature housegirl but she spends the whole day watching TV and gossiping with the housegirl and builders who are renovating our house. This kind of redundancy is worrying me. What do I do?
MMJ - Kampala.
Dear MMJ,
Excessive idleness is a great challenge many parents of holidaymakers face. At her age, your daughter cannot program herself without your help. You should have thought about the strategies of keeping her occupied before her holidays began.
She is doing what any teenager who lacks a program would do.
What you view as redundancy is your daughter’s way of keeping herself occupied. Did you know that nature abhors a vacuum? For a child who was initially occupied with studies, sitting at home without any serious task is a total boredom.
Watching television and gossiping with the housegirl are not problems in themselves but symptoms of a problem. Beneath that gossiping and TV watching is a teenager who is confused and wondering what to do with her time.
There is a gaping vacuum that needs to be filled and you are responsible for this vacuum. Your teenager will sit back at home for two solid months! Have you planned for this duration? Let us explore some ways of keeping your holidaymaker busy:
Acquisition of skills
Train your daughter to become responsible
Why would a 13-year-old girl sit idly as a house helper battles with household chores? This style of parenting that goes an extra mile to ‘baby-sit’ teenagers is certainly unacceptable.
There are so many household tasks that your daughter could do. If the presence of a housegirl is a hindrance to her learning, then send your house helper on leave to give her room. When will she learn how to prepare meals, clean the house, wash clothes and organise the home in your absence?
You could be inflicting lifetime damage to this girl’s personality. Idleness will not earn a living anywhere. Education is not just about books and scoring high grades.
Holiday is a golden opportunity for you to teach your daughter that there is life outside the classroom. I guess you wouldn’t wish to bring up a child who expects the housegirl to make her bed and wash her clothes. Let your daughter know that a home is not a place for redundancy. Give her the skill of seeing work and doing it without being told or reminded.
jwagwau@newvision.co.ug
077-631032