‘The Five Love Languages’ restores fire to burned-out relationships
EVER been close to somebody and they keep doing things to please you but you just do not feel loved? Even when you are aware that the other person genuinely loves you, it is possible to still feel unloved.
BOOK REVIEW
Title: The Five Love Languages
Author: Gary Chapman
Available at: Fresh Vine Bookstore, La Fontaine or any other Christian bookshops
Price: sh21,000
Reviewed by: Elvina Nawaguna
EVER been close to somebody and they keep doing things to please you but you just do not feel loved? Even when you are aware that the other person genuinely loves you, it is possible to still feel unloved.
Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, breaks open the mystery of how best to relate to your spouse and the people you love by finding out both yours and their love languages.
Chapman, an internationally known marriage expert, says whether it is for children, men or women, there are five love languages. He explains that people have different things that pull their love trigger. He adds that if these things are not done, the “love metre†shows empty. Knowing the love language of the people close to you helps you know how best to love and serve them.
Words of affirmation
While we all like to be complimented and told how great we are or how well we performed, Chapman says there are people who need this on a daily basis. Contrary to the misconception that such people have a low self-esteem, this is merely their love language.
Physical touch
You probably have come across people who love to hug, touch, lay their hand on your shoulder or run their hands through your hair. These are not necessarily sexual gestures.
It is this person’s way of showing that they are fond of you and by you accepting them to do that, you make them feel loved.
Acts of good service
Does your friend or spouse spend a lot of time “doing things†for people, putting things in order, mowing the lawn or helping out here and there? To love a person whose love language is acts of good service, you have to kill selfishness and die to your personal wants.
Chapman says doing a chore for someone without them asking you is a great opportunity for you to show them love.
Gifts
This is the love language that can be most looked at as selfish. But then people with gifts as their love languages do not usually require you to spend a fortune on a gold necklace or an expensive Rolex watch for them.
Quality time
I am sure you have heard people say, “we had a nice time together, just doing nothing but talking and listening to each other.†Yes, we all love to spend time with the people we love and care about. But for some, this is the primary way of showing love and feeling loved. If you are dating or married to a quality time person and you are not a quality time person, this is the hardest to give.
First published in 1992, the book has been used by many counselors and family therapists to help couples learn how to show love to one another and restore the spark in their relationships.
The book is a treasured gift to millions of readers who have realised the plain fact that everyone longs to feel loved. Chapman, who has counseled thousands of married couples, says the way back to love is “easier than you thinkâ€.
“Throughout my counseling, I found that truly connecting with a loved one came down to one simple fact: you need to know and speak his or her love language. A love language is the way we express our devotion and commitment, and it can be learned or changed to touch the hearts of our partners,†he says.
Chapman touches right at the needs of troubled couples and shares simple ways to heal damaged relationships.
After the huge success of The Five Love Languages, Chapman has also written The Five Love Languages of Teenagers and The Five Love Languages for Children.
He also brought out The Five Love Languages for Singles and a special men’s edition. In all these books, Chapman applies the same love languages to the different groups.
Sporty trendsThe Five Love Languages will help you love the people you care about and return the fire to your relationships.
Title: The Five Love Languages
Author: Gary Chapman
Available at: Fresh Vine Bookstore, La Fontaine or any other Christian bookshops
Price: sh21,000
Reviewed by: Elvina Nawaguna
EVER been close to somebody and they keep doing things to please you but you just do not feel loved? Even when you are aware that the other person genuinely loves you, it is possible to still feel unloved.
Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, breaks open the mystery of how best to relate to your spouse and the people you love by finding out both yours and their love languages.
Chapman, an internationally known marriage expert, says whether it is for children, men or women, there are five love languages. He explains that people have different things that pull their love trigger. He adds that if these things are not done, the “love metre†shows empty. Knowing the love language of the people close to you helps you know how best to love and serve them.
Words of affirmation
While we all like to be complimented and told how great we are or how well we performed, Chapman says there are people who need this on a daily basis. Contrary to the misconception that such people have a low self-esteem, this is merely their love language.
Physical touch
You probably have come across people who love to hug, touch, lay their hand on your shoulder or run their hands through your hair. These are not necessarily sexual gestures.
It is this person’s way of showing that they are fond of you and by you accepting them to do that, you make them feel loved.
Acts of good service
Does your friend or spouse spend a lot of time “doing things†for people, putting things in order, mowing the lawn or helping out here and there? To love a person whose love language is acts of good service, you have to kill selfishness and die to your personal wants.
Chapman says doing a chore for someone without them asking you is a great opportunity for you to show them love.
Gifts
This is the love language that can be most looked at as selfish. But then people with gifts as their love languages do not usually require you to spend a fortune on a gold necklace or an expensive Rolex watch for them.
Quality time
I am sure you have heard people say, “we had a nice time together, just doing nothing but talking and listening to each other.†Yes, we all love to spend time with the people we love and care about. But for some, this is the primary way of showing love and feeling loved. If you are dating or married to a quality time person and you are not a quality time person, this is the hardest to give.
First published in 1992, the book has been used by many counselors and family therapists to help couples learn how to show love to one another and restore the spark in their relationships.
The book is a treasured gift to millions of readers who have realised the plain fact that everyone longs to feel loved. Chapman, who has counseled thousands of married couples, says the way back to love is “easier than you thinkâ€.
“Throughout my counseling, I found that truly connecting with a loved one came down to one simple fact: you need to know and speak his or her love language. A love language is the way we express our devotion and commitment, and it can be learned or changed to touch the hearts of our partners,†he says.
Chapman touches right at the needs of troubled couples and shares simple ways to heal damaged relationships.
After the huge success of The Five Love Languages, Chapman has also written The Five Love Languages of Teenagers and The Five Love Languages for Children.
He also brought out The Five Love Languages for Singles and a special men’s edition. In all these books, Chapman applies the same love languages to the different groups.
Sporty trendsThe Five Love Languages will help you love the people you care about and return the fire to your relationships.