Why Saggy fears marriage
There are times when I sit back and shed tears of laughter at episodes that transpire in this country
By Harry Sagara
There are times when I sit back and shed tears of laughter at episodes that transpire in this country. People are always on my case, asking when I am getting married. I always tell them that it is in the pipeline.
However, considering the recent happenings, I am afraid I have to go slow on this project, lest I get in myself into a predicament whose only outlet is either re-arranging someone’s face or making the most of a noose.
Call me whatever you want but I would rather fall off a tree and break both my legs than fall in love and then break my heart! Not with the spate of illegitimate under-the-blanket romps in our midst.
These days, our newspapers spend most times extolling on below-the-belt scandals involvng Ugandans of different walks of life.
Adultery has become the order of the day; people flock far away places like Ssese Islands and other up country destinations to commit this immoral act.
Others are so inspired by the fact that South Africa is planning to host the 2010 world Cup, they plan away matches in the South African Nambooles, thinking they are away from prying eyes, kumbe, we, the ladies’ husbands are busy tracking them.
Recently, one unfortunate Ugandan took someone’s wife out and after a well spent week in the rainbow nation, the lovebirds flew back home only to find Katumba Wamala’s boys too eager to arrest and detain them for adultery.
From the way this illicit affair was busted, I can confidently surmise that this lady’s husband is an Arsenal fan. No gunner will allow to be beaten home and away!
You waste people’s time getting them to wear their Sunday best on a Saturday as they listen to you shouting to all and sundry that ‘you do.’ The next thing you are doing, is sleeping around like a coquette on rampage? What happened to morality? What happened to that institution called marriage?
My only disappointment with these people, and maybe the Saddam Husseins of this world, is that they denigrate the idea of being a man. A man is supposed to be a man, whatever he does, he should never get caught, hole or no hole!
Adultery is deeply engrained in our society. My friends Sue Farmer and Justice Julia Sebutinde are running a new NGO that helps rectify acid victims.
I can see they really have a long way to go since some (if not most) acid cases have a thing or two to do with adultery. Lives have been lost due to this thing, yet the law forbidding adultery is so weak that it badly needs an amendment.
You might want to know that if you are found guilty of adultery, you actually pay a fine of sh200 and walk away with a spring in your step while singing to yourself … eno mic ya ziggy D tesaaga!
The average Ugandan lives on about sh1000 a day. This implies that a typical Ugandan can afford to commit adultery with 5 different people daily, 150 people monthly and 1800 people annually.
At this rate, give us just 10 years and our country will be completely adulterated! (Pun definitely intended).
I have put my wedding plans on ice until the law against adultery is strengthened. I would like a law that allows me to grab a gun from a policeman and blow out the brains of whoever I catch frolicking with my wife.
This would save many lives and acid cases. Well, for those who have affairs with other people’s wives or husbands (why are you smiling? Yes, I am talking to you. Stop looking around)
You can go ahead and commit adultery as long as you are sure that that person’s husband or wife does not have access to weapons of mass destruction.
Well, the rest of you can make do with what they call ‘mistresses.’ The last time I checked for the definition of that word, my thesaurus gave me the ultimate answer: ‘Something between a mister and a mattress!’ Have a good day and do not get caught.
Sagara10@yahoo.com
075-445367
There are times when I sit back and shed tears of laughter at episodes that transpire in this country. People are always on my case, asking when I am getting married. I always tell them that it is in the pipeline.
However, considering the recent happenings, I am afraid I have to go slow on this project, lest I get in myself into a predicament whose only outlet is either re-arranging someone’s face or making the most of a noose.
Call me whatever you want but I would rather fall off a tree and break both my legs than fall in love and then break my heart! Not with the spate of illegitimate under-the-blanket romps in our midst.
These days, our newspapers spend most times extolling on below-the-belt scandals involvng Ugandans of different walks of life.
Adultery has become the order of the day; people flock far away places like Ssese Islands and other up country destinations to commit this immoral act.
Others are so inspired by the fact that South Africa is planning to host the 2010 world Cup, they plan away matches in the South African Nambooles, thinking they are away from prying eyes, kumbe, we, the ladies’ husbands are busy tracking them.
Recently, one unfortunate Ugandan took someone’s wife out and after a well spent week in the rainbow nation, the lovebirds flew back home only to find Katumba Wamala’s boys too eager to arrest and detain them for adultery.
From the way this illicit affair was busted, I can confidently surmise that this lady’s husband is an Arsenal fan. No gunner will allow to be beaten home and away!
You waste people’s time getting them to wear their Sunday best on a Saturday as they listen to you shouting to all and sundry that ‘you do.’ The next thing you are doing, is sleeping around like a coquette on rampage? What happened to morality? What happened to that institution called marriage?
My only disappointment with these people, and maybe the Saddam Husseins of this world, is that they denigrate the idea of being a man. A man is supposed to be a man, whatever he does, he should never get caught, hole or no hole!
Adultery is deeply engrained in our society. My friends Sue Farmer and Justice Julia Sebutinde are running a new NGO that helps rectify acid victims.
I can see they really have a long way to go since some (if not most) acid cases have a thing or two to do with adultery. Lives have been lost due to this thing, yet the law forbidding adultery is so weak that it badly needs an amendment.
You might want to know that if you are found guilty of adultery, you actually pay a fine of sh200 and walk away with a spring in your step while singing to yourself … eno mic ya ziggy D tesaaga!
The average Ugandan lives on about sh1000 a day. This implies that a typical Ugandan can afford to commit adultery with 5 different people daily, 150 people monthly and 1800 people annually.
At this rate, give us just 10 years and our country will be completely adulterated! (Pun definitely intended).
I have put my wedding plans on ice until the law against adultery is strengthened. I would like a law that allows me to grab a gun from a policeman and blow out the brains of whoever I catch frolicking with my wife.
This would save many lives and acid cases. Well, for those who have affairs with other people’s wives or husbands (why are you smiling? Yes, I am talking to you. Stop looking around)
You can go ahead and commit adultery as long as you are sure that that person’s husband or wife does not have access to weapons of mass destruction.
Well, the rest of you can make do with what they call ‘mistresses.’ The last time I checked for the definition of that word, my thesaurus gave me the ultimate answer: ‘Something between a mister and a mattress!’ Have a good day and do not get caught.
Sagara10@yahoo.com
075-445367