57 years, I’m still the only one for him
THERE was nothing extraordinary about William Bamutungire’s marriage to Tophasi. When he chose a mate for the future, it was the girl next-door, their families were neighbours and the two had grown up together in Rwampara in Ankole.
By Tina Turyagyenda
THERE was nothing extraordinary about William Bamutungire’s marriage to Tophasi. When he chose a mate for the future, it was the girl next-door, their families were neighbours and the two had grown up together in Rwampara in Ankole.
And so the born-again Mbarara High School teacher and his wife started what seemed like a pretty ordinary marriage.
A year after they were married, she too became saved and they’ve never looked back.
He changed professions, going from teacher to priest in 1958. They moved to Kabale for several years and then back to Mbarara.
She was the housewife that looked after their children and planted cabbage, sorghum and peas while they were in Kabale, but after he became a priest, she became a women’s leader in the Mother’s Union. When he travelled to the US and the UK, she waited for her husband and looked after the family.
When he retired in 1983, she retired with him, although she remains a counsellor to young married couples. This, from a couple that was once totally ignorant about how to go about their own marriage!
“We were both very young when we got married and knew nothing about being married,†Rev. Bamutungire says in his very fluent, very beautifully-spoken English. “I was about 10 years older than her, but even then there was so much I had to learn!â€
Whatever there was to learn, they learnt it well. Their marriage is not ordinary by any standards now. In May, the couple will have been married for 57 years!
A lot of it is their effort, of course, but the couple attribute it all to God. The only time that the Rev. raises his voice, is when he is saying “Glory to Godâ€. All through the interview, though, God was spoken about as often as there are punctuation marks on this page.
Physically, they are not the young agile couple that has had eight children, two of whom passed away. Naturally, the couple has weakened with age. The reverend is now 85 years old and his wife, 74, but there is more.
Making an appointment to meet them, their son and last born, Rev. Stephen Bamutungire told me I would have to meet them in Mulago hospital. A room on the sixth floor has been their home for the last three months.
I found the frail old man sitting on his bed in clean blue pyjamas, one leg sewn up to above the knee. One of his legs was amputated two months ago, the other isn’t very fine either, and his remaining foot is wrapped in bandages. His wife was reading a copy of Orumuri, while their son Stephen punched away on a laptop.
Explaining my presence, following the Rev. Bamutungire’s soft-spoken instructions to “speak loudly because (my) hearing is poor and listen carefully because (my) speaking is lowâ€, I told them that I was looking for a couple that has spent more than 50 years together, a couple that would give meaning to real love for Valentine’s day.
“You’ll have to explain to them what Valentine’s day is,†Stephen said, but his mother quickly said she knew.
“A day for those who love each other,†the plump, dark woman who has aged quite well, said. With total confidence, it seemed to me, that I was in the right place. Neither of them seemed to be surprised in the least bit, that I had chosen them.
“Our marriage has lasted because of our love for each other,†William Bamutungire said. “We have never fought in our marriage. When we have been angry, we have talked and prayed about it.â€
“We admit it when we are wrong and forgive each other. Things go wrong in marriage, but once you can honestly forgive each other and mean it, then things become right again,†his wife added.
She let him do most of the talking, actually, only stopping him here and there, to make sure he had the years right or to add a detail that she thought was important. Yet she is no doormat, as many people tend to think if the husband does the talking.
“I was the one earning most of the money for the family,†the Canon beamed, “but she was the finance manager in the home. I’m lucky she didn’t send me out!â€
Not that there could have ever been such a chance. Sitting there in the hospital, with her now one-legged husband, Tophasi Bamutungire cannot imagine being anywhere else in the world, except at his side. I asked her what the most romantic thing he had ever done for her and she laughed.
“He’s been a good husband. 57 years later, I know that I am still the only one for him and he still is the one for me.â€
They will be spending their 57th Valentine day together in a hospital room, not knowing how much longer there is for either of them.
It’s not much of a romantic get-away, and yet perhaps, they’ve had the greatest gift of all. For better, for worse, in sickness and in health - they’ve had a long and happy life, more than most people can claim.
THERE was nothing extraordinary about William Bamutungire’s marriage to Tophasi. When he chose a mate for the future, it was the girl next-door, their families were neighbours and the two had grown up together in Rwampara in Ankole.
And so the born-again Mbarara High School teacher and his wife started what seemed like a pretty ordinary marriage.
A year after they were married, she too became saved and they’ve never looked back.
He changed professions, going from teacher to priest in 1958. They moved to Kabale for several years and then back to Mbarara.
She was the housewife that looked after their children and planted cabbage, sorghum and peas while they were in Kabale, but after he became a priest, she became a women’s leader in the Mother’s Union. When he travelled to the US and the UK, she waited for her husband and looked after the family.
When he retired in 1983, she retired with him, although she remains a counsellor to young married couples. This, from a couple that was once totally ignorant about how to go about their own marriage!
“We were both very young when we got married and knew nothing about being married,†Rev. Bamutungire says in his very fluent, very beautifully-spoken English. “I was about 10 years older than her, but even then there was so much I had to learn!â€
Whatever there was to learn, they learnt it well. Their marriage is not ordinary by any standards now. In May, the couple will have been married for 57 years!
A lot of it is their effort, of course, but the couple attribute it all to God. The only time that the Rev. raises his voice, is when he is saying “Glory to Godâ€. All through the interview, though, God was spoken about as often as there are punctuation marks on this page.
Physically, they are not the young agile couple that has had eight children, two of whom passed away. Naturally, the couple has weakened with age. The reverend is now 85 years old and his wife, 74, but there is more.
Making an appointment to meet them, their son and last born, Rev. Stephen Bamutungire told me I would have to meet them in Mulago hospital. A room on the sixth floor has been their home for the last three months.
I found the frail old man sitting on his bed in clean blue pyjamas, one leg sewn up to above the knee. One of his legs was amputated two months ago, the other isn’t very fine either, and his remaining foot is wrapped in bandages. His wife was reading a copy of Orumuri, while their son Stephen punched away on a laptop.
Explaining my presence, following the Rev. Bamutungire’s soft-spoken instructions to “speak loudly because (my) hearing is poor and listen carefully because (my) speaking is lowâ€, I told them that I was looking for a couple that has spent more than 50 years together, a couple that would give meaning to real love for Valentine’s day.
“You’ll have to explain to them what Valentine’s day is,†Stephen said, but his mother quickly said she knew.
“A day for those who love each other,†the plump, dark woman who has aged quite well, said. With total confidence, it seemed to me, that I was in the right place. Neither of them seemed to be surprised in the least bit, that I had chosen them.
“Our marriage has lasted because of our love for each other,†William Bamutungire said. “We have never fought in our marriage. When we have been angry, we have talked and prayed about it.â€
“We admit it when we are wrong and forgive each other. Things go wrong in marriage, but once you can honestly forgive each other and mean it, then things become right again,†his wife added.
She let him do most of the talking, actually, only stopping him here and there, to make sure he had the years right or to add a detail that she thought was important. Yet she is no doormat, as many people tend to think if the husband does the talking.
“I was the one earning most of the money for the family,†the Canon beamed, “but she was the finance manager in the home. I’m lucky she didn’t send me out!â€
Not that there could have ever been such a chance. Sitting there in the hospital, with her now one-legged husband, Tophasi Bamutungire cannot imagine being anywhere else in the world, except at his side. I asked her what the most romantic thing he had ever done for her and she laughed.
“He’s been a good husband. 57 years later, I know that I am still the only one for him and he still is the one for me.â€
They will be spending their 57th Valentine day together in a hospital room, not knowing how much longer there is for either of them.
It’s not much of a romantic get-away, and yet perhaps, they’ve had the greatest gift of all. For better, for worse, in sickness and in health - they’ve had a long and happy life, more than most people can claim.