Mike Ezra Inspires Saggy
Apr 16, 2004
I HAVE always toiled with the belief that one day I will be so rich that I will use small denomination notes like sh5,000 as toilet paper!
I have always toiled with the belief that one day I will be so rich that I will use small denomination notes like sh5,000 as toilet paper! Little did I know that the path to immense wealth is not an 8 to 5 daily routine, it’s more than just that. It involves pulling very daring stunts and praying that you don’t get caught.
Just this week, news broke out that a man called Mulyowa Micheal Ezra had been impersonating DMI officials and extorting large sums of money from gullible civilians. It so happens that the pictures that appeared in the Vision of this Mulyowa guy had a striking resemblance to that of Mike Ezra, A man many people believe is the richest in tawoo.
Mbu this Ezra guy would waylay his victims and hold them at ID point (not at gun point) and say something like. “If you don’t give me the bucks I’m gonna shoot you with this ID card!â€
The story goes that after he was arrested and released, he disappeared and later came back with money so much that it (the money) can now recognize his voice when he calls!
After reading that expose of Ezra’s escapades, I thought to myself; why sit there the whole day punching at a computer in a bid to make ends meet yet the key to immense wealth is dangling on my face daily. Guys let’s wake up and smell the coffee. The money is in extortion. If Ezra can make it from that trade called extortion then we can also make it. There’s more money in extortion than in vanilla, coffee and cocoa combined!
I think government should set up a ‘Uganda Extortion promotions board’ where jobless youth are taught the art of getting money from people by just showing them an identity card. Look at it this way, if Ezra extorted money and he is promoting our athletes in a bid to bring medals then why not have like ten Ezras?
One Ezra could help sort out the pot-holes problem, another one would donate good choppers to the government and then one other Ezra would sort out the garbage problem in Uganda — all in the name of extortion.
To be frank with you, I am immensely inspired by Ezra’s acts. I am going to retire from writing and take up a new position as an expert extortionist. I entirely believe that this is where the money is. I will forge an Identity card where I call myself Kakooza Mutale and then I will start moving around with kiboooko as I extort money from people. Poverty is almost eating Ugandans to the marrow. They are crying about money scarcity yet the password to wealth is a mere identity card — especially a DMI one!
You would expect Ezra to lie low after apparently fleecing Ugandans but the guy is all over the place dishing out money like a problem. That is my kind of men!
I think we should have a public holiday in honour of Mike Ezra. Most people who extort or even rob Ugandans of their money are either in hiding or are dead but the young man is all over the place.
I hereby compel Dr. Maggie Kigozi of Uganda Investment Authority to consider Ezra for investor of the year award. He invested his time making that military ID and then after extorting money from the public (according to Bwino from Sunday Vision) he is back dishing it out to the very public he got it from. Isn’t that beautiful?
Well, if Mike Ezra got all his money from extorting then I can imagine what kind of people his victims were. Whenever I try to think about this, prominent names like Bill Gates (The world’s renowned millionaire), Sudhir Ruparelia, Gordon Wavamuno and James Mulwana come to mind. I mean who else could Mike Ezra have extorted money from to be as rich as he is today?
By the way, I have to end here because the Katwe guy I had asked to design for me a forged DMI Identity card has just returned from his mission. I am off to work and in a year’s time I will be a very rich man. Be afraid Mr. Mike Ezra!!
sagara10@yahoo.com
Just this week, news broke out that a man called Mulyowa Micheal Ezra had been impersonating DMI officials and extorting large sums of money from gullible civilians. It so happens that the pictures that appeared in the Vision of this Mulyowa guy had a striking resemblance to that of Mike Ezra, A man many people believe is the richest in tawoo.
Mbu this Ezra guy would waylay his victims and hold them at ID point (not at gun point) and say something like. “If you don’t give me the bucks I’m gonna shoot you with this ID card!â€
The story goes that after he was arrested and released, he disappeared and later came back with money so much that it (the money) can now recognize his voice when he calls!
After reading that expose of Ezra’s escapades, I thought to myself; why sit there the whole day punching at a computer in a bid to make ends meet yet the key to immense wealth is dangling on my face daily. Guys let’s wake up and smell the coffee. The money is in extortion. If Ezra can make it from that trade called extortion then we can also make it. There’s more money in extortion than in vanilla, coffee and cocoa combined!
I think government should set up a ‘Uganda Extortion promotions board’ where jobless youth are taught the art of getting money from people by just showing them an identity card. Look at it this way, if Ezra extorted money and he is promoting our athletes in a bid to bring medals then why not have like ten Ezras?
One Ezra could help sort out the pot-holes problem, another one would donate good choppers to the government and then one other Ezra would sort out the garbage problem in Uganda — all in the name of extortion.
To be frank with you, I am immensely inspired by Ezra’s acts. I am going to retire from writing and take up a new position as an expert extortionist. I entirely believe that this is where the money is. I will forge an Identity card where I call myself Kakooza Mutale and then I will start moving around with kiboooko as I extort money from people. Poverty is almost eating Ugandans to the marrow. They are crying about money scarcity yet the password to wealth is a mere identity card — especially a DMI one!
You would expect Ezra to lie low after apparently fleecing Ugandans but the guy is all over the place dishing out money like a problem. That is my kind of men!
I think we should have a public holiday in honour of Mike Ezra. Most people who extort or even rob Ugandans of their money are either in hiding or are dead but the young man is all over the place.
I hereby compel Dr. Maggie Kigozi of Uganda Investment Authority to consider Ezra for investor of the year award. He invested his time making that military ID and then after extorting money from the public (according to Bwino from Sunday Vision) he is back dishing it out to the very public he got it from. Isn’t that beautiful?
Well, if Mike Ezra got all his money from extorting then I can imagine what kind of people his victims were. Whenever I try to think about this, prominent names like Bill Gates (The world’s renowned millionaire), Sudhir Ruparelia, Gordon Wavamuno and James Mulwana come to mind. I mean who else could Mike Ezra have extorted money from to be as rich as he is today?
By the way, I have to end here because the Katwe guy I had asked to design for me a forged DMI Identity card has just returned from his mission. I am off to work and in a year’s time I will be a very rich man. Be afraid Mr. Mike Ezra!!
sagara10@yahoo.com