Saggy sulks over Diana
One day Justice Kanyeihamba proclaimed that peasants do not make important decisions and the next thing we heard was the President lambasting him over this.
One day Justice Kanyeihamba proclaimed that peasants do not make important decisions and the next thing we heard was the President lambasting him over this. Well, I have learnt that Kanyeihamba was actually right. Peasants do not make decisions at all.
Look, I am a peasant from Nebbi. I made a decision to smoke so that I support the people who grow tobacco in my home district and then Col. Otter-fire after being fired up by TEAN comes up and says that I can only smoke from a toilet. I then made another decision to initiate diplomatic ties with the first family in a bid to set up an embassy in Diana Museveni’s heart only to hear that she is to be given away to someone else. You see, we peasants don’t make decisions, Ministers and Presidents do!
After hearing of Diana’s impending give away I have declared a week of mourning. All the flags in Nebbi will fly at half mast. I had kept my fingers crossed just in case uncle Kagu and his cronies decided to reward the Alur with a portion of the national cake, only to wake up and the object of my desire is given away to someone else.
I am going to cry and cry and cry until the President assures me that he is going to have another child (preferably a girl). In which case I will wait, be it for 20 years or more!
Every Tom, Dick and Alex (I insist not Harry) knows I booked Diana first, I swear namwesooka. The President and the First lady know this. Uncle Saleh even promised to throw in a word for me the last time we met. Now I hear preparations are in high gear to marry Diana off to Kamuntu, kyokka ensi eno!
I would suppose that since Uganda is a democratic country (mbu), issues like the marriage of presidential daughters would be handled in a more democratic manner.
The President should have put up a ‘Selectoral Commision’ headed by Auntie Rwakitarate in Mbarara to select the best suitor for Diana. I swear I would have swept that girl off her feet!
By now, we would be inviting you guys to a wedding with cards neatly calligraphed with ‘You are cordially invited to the wedding of Prince Harry of Nebbi and Princess Diana of Rwakitura. RSVP President Yoweri Museveni 075-445367’ (Hey, calm down, that’s not the President’s number)
You must be wondering what’s up my sleeve. Just recently I had chucked the idea of marrying Diana because the dad had no car of his own. Well, honestly, I was doing this because of love. You see, when you love something, you set it free, if it comes back to you, then it is yours forever, if it doesn’t come back to you then it should be Geofrey Kamuntu’s!
My heart is in shreds but that doesn’t entirely mean I have hit a dead end. I am closely watching for any girl who has the slightest of relationship to the first family. This is a Miranda warning to all the President’s female relatives who are not yet married. The moment you meet me anywhere, you have the right to remain silent because anything you say can be used against you — in a church!
To the soon to be Mr. and Mrs Kamuntu, there’s no nuggu (jealousy). When the door to Diana’s heart is closed there’s a window opening to one of her relative’s heart.
I wish you guys a happy marriage ceremony and please don’t forget to name the first kid Harry if it’s a boy and Harriet if it’s a girl. Just in case you need a houseboy, give me a call, I could volunteer!
Sagara10@yahoo.com
075-445367
Look, I am a peasant from Nebbi. I made a decision to smoke so that I support the people who grow tobacco in my home district and then Col. Otter-fire after being fired up by TEAN comes up and says that I can only smoke from a toilet. I then made another decision to initiate diplomatic ties with the first family in a bid to set up an embassy in Diana Museveni’s heart only to hear that she is to be given away to someone else. You see, we peasants don’t make decisions, Ministers and Presidents do!
After hearing of Diana’s impending give away I have declared a week of mourning. All the flags in Nebbi will fly at half mast. I had kept my fingers crossed just in case uncle Kagu and his cronies decided to reward the Alur with a portion of the national cake, only to wake up and the object of my desire is given away to someone else.
I am going to cry and cry and cry until the President assures me that he is going to have another child (preferably a girl). In which case I will wait, be it for 20 years or more!
Every Tom, Dick and Alex (I insist not Harry) knows I booked Diana first, I swear namwesooka. The President and the First lady know this. Uncle Saleh even promised to throw in a word for me the last time we met. Now I hear preparations are in high gear to marry Diana off to Kamuntu, kyokka ensi eno!
I would suppose that since Uganda is a democratic country (mbu), issues like the marriage of presidential daughters would be handled in a more democratic manner.
The President should have put up a ‘Selectoral Commision’ headed by Auntie Rwakitarate in Mbarara to select the best suitor for Diana. I swear I would have swept that girl off her feet!
By now, we would be inviting you guys to a wedding with cards neatly calligraphed with ‘You are cordially invited to the wedding of Prince Harry of Nebbi and Princess Diana of Rwakitura. RSVP President Yoweri Museveni 075-445367’ (Hey, calm down, that’s not the President’s number)
You must be wondering what’s up my sleeve. Just recently I had chucked the idea of marrying Diana because the dad had no car of his own. Well, honestly, I was doing this because of love. You see, when you love something, you set it free, if it comes back to you, then it is yours forever, if it doesn’t come back to you then it should be Geofrey Kamuntu’s!
My heart is in shreds but that doesn’t entirely mean I have hit a dead end. I am closely watching for any girl who has the slightest of relationship to the first family. This is a Miranda warning to all the President’s female relatives who are not yet married. The moment you meet me anywhere, you have the right to remain silent because anything you say can be used against you — in a church!
To the soon to be Mr. and Mrs Kamuntu, there’s no nuggu (jealousy). When the door to Diana’s heart is closed there’s a window opening to one of her relative’s heart.
I wish you guys a happy marriage ceremony and please don’t forget to name the first kid Harry if it’s a boy and Harriet if it’s a girl. Just in case you need a houseboy, give me a call, I could volunteer!
Sagara10@yahoo.com
075-445367