Saggy consoles jailed journalists

Jun 22, 2004

When afande Elly Tumwine summoned five journalists to the military court martial, I predicted that he was going to detain them and true to my word, he did it.

When afande Elly Tumwine summoned five journalists to the military court martial, I predicted that he was going to detain them and true to my word, he did it. I now hear people are complaining that Tumwine did something bad. What did these journalists expect? An enraged General to roll out the red carpet and invite them to the dining table? After they have run a story that jeopardises national security? Give me a break.
My prediction had nothing to do with the fact that Shivon (the General’s daughter) is my friend; it was just one of those things we brilliant fellows do best –– analyse situations and give a verdict. After carefully studying the names of the people Tumwine had summoned it became certain that there was a high probability of them facing Tumwines wrath.
Look at this: (Steve) Candia is lugbara for ‘I am in trouble’, a (William) Pike could be a fish species (headed for the fisherman’s net), (Solomon) Muyita is luganda for ‘I am summoning him’, (Maurice) Okore sounds like a captured rebel’s name and (Wasswa) JB could translate for Jail Bird! Don't laugh, this is serious stuff!
Trouble stemmed from the fact that Brig. Nakibus Lakara declined to be answerable to a certain junior officer who is normally so noble and doesn’t like enyombo (quarrels).
According to Tumwine, Pike and JB’s papers carrying this story was tantamount to jeopardising national security. I don’t know how our security is jeopardised by the reality that Mayombo is junior to Lakara! Anyway, as a punishment to the erring journalists, he locked them up in the same cubicle with notorious robbers, murderers and many other hard-core criminals.
I now hear that The new Vision lawyers want to sue the court martial but I think this is all trash. These journalists can get the best out of their predicament. With 2006 elections knocking at the door, there is bound to be political turmoil and anarchy, I believe this is the right time to leave the country. So messrs JB, Pike, Okore, Muyita et al, you guys now have an opportunity to apply for political asylum in a country of your choice.
You can tell a tale that issues did not stop in court only. You just claim that your phone is being tapped and that some people are stalking you and they are not women but men in red berets! I swear the British high commission and the American embassy will just throw the visa at you before you even finish your story!

In the military, a senior soldier is not answerable to a junior soldier and in real life a fine artist is not answerable to a lawyer or even a journalist! So you guys can sue but believe me, everything shall be handled artistically or even martial artistically!
For the junior journalists who were put in together with Pike and JB I think this is the opportunity to strike. You guys are now superstars; it’s not everyday that your names are mentioned in the same vein with names like William Pike and Jay Bee Wasswa. Its not everyday that you can be a news item on the front page of a national newspaper.
You should by now be feeling very sweet and walking with a swagger akin to that of a person who has won a jackpot. This is an opportunity for you to enthrall people of the opposite sex. Girls now think you have a lot of money, so pounce before they discover the truth!
You were embedded journalists and now you have the chance to ‘embed’ the girls and this is the time to do it.
How I wish Afande Tumwine could also summon me and I show you guys how to do things. My only problem is that newspaper people have nugu for me. I imagine my story would be somewhere on page 11 with a headline: “Man, 40 summoned!”

Sagara10@yahoo.com

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