Be realistic about your child

Oct 03, 2004

Third term is filled with stress. As children strive to make it to the next class, parents are anxious about the performance. Your anxiety may make you to expect too much or push your already stressed child to the wall.

Third term is filled with stress. As children strive to make it to the next class, parents are anxious about the performance. Your anxiety may make you to expect too much or push your already stressed child to the wall.

Do you feel anxious over your child’s academic performance this term? Having a brilliant child is every parent’s dream. But is academic excellence attained overnight? No. It comes gradually. Expectations are quite high as the third term progresses.

No Parent would like a whole year’s fees wasted in a child who cannot progress to the next class.

Even with such high expectations you must always be realistic:

- Academic improvement does not occur by leaps and bounds. It is gradual, systematic and progressive. If the child scores 230 marks, encourage him/her to aim at 250. Do not expect him/her to leap to 420 marks. Such big leaps certainly put a smile on your face but are rarely sustained. An improvement by one mark is not a decline, it is an improvement!

- The child may be weak, but you do not have to sing this to him/her all the time.

Trumpeting the child’s weakness is like shooting a dead enemy. It does not improve the situation in any way.

Instead, it adds more injuries to an open wound. Positive reinforcement builds intrinsic motivation.

Success in life does not belong to the most brilliant, but to those who believe in themselves and can actualize their potentials. Help your child to believe in him/herself.

l Always begin with exposing the positive before you tactfully point out the negative. Use statements like, “I have confidence in you. You are bright and I believe you could do better than this if you avoid carelessness in your work,”or “I am pleased with the improvement you have shown in your handwriting and spellings. I am expecting a similar improvement even at mathematics.”

l Your child’s level of intelligence is an essential component of his/her individuality- a reflection of his/her uniqueness.

We are different in temperament and personality, so are our level of intelligence.

Have you ever wondered why some children fear exams, or decide to ‘fall sick’ during examination period? It is often because their parents have pushed them to the wall and set a high unrealistic standard for them.
If you assess your child’s work objectively and optimistically, you will never fail to see an improvement.

There is always something positive to compliment the child for. Since our eyes are set on big things, we are bound to see the glass as half empty rather than half full. When bricks are arranged together, they form a wall and it is walls that make a mansion.

Never ignore any slight improvement the child shows. If you want a mansion, value the bricks. Till next week.

jwagwau@newvision.co.ug
077631032

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