Need a good husband? Look this way
Nov 18, 2004
You are in your late 20s and most of your friends have done it or are about to do it. Your family and friends are wondering, why you won’t stand up and be counted.
By Faith Mbabazi
You are in your late 20s and most of your friends have done it or are about to do it. Your family and friends are wondering, why you won’t stand up and be counted.
Suddenly, even you are beginning to worry, “Why have I not seen him? Why hasn’t he come up to me and said hi? Why have all my friends gotten lucky, and not me?â€
We are talking about men. Why are they so rare these days?
These days, lots of women go about their lives without ever ‘meeting’ a man.
Many parents have fretted and worried about their daughters.
After school, parents think their daughters will meet all sorts of men and try to marry them. Well, they are either wrong or something has gone wrong. The men have disappeared!
My brother disagrees. He says it is our fault because we no longer pay attention to the men. He thinks more women now have a long list of the ideal man that they would like to marry?
Have you also stopped to think that the expectations we have in our ideal man are actually miles ahead of what our mothers even considered important?
A run through several of my friends shows that they expect to marry a man, who is well educated, holds a responsible (whatever that means) job, comes from a ‘good’ family and is ambitious, caring, generous and definitely handsome.
The list differs from woman to woman but of late, wealthy, light skinned, tall and God-fearing men are the most popular.
If you consider the fact that many men come from poor backgrounds, you have to either scale down your expectations or look overseas for a suitor.
A taxi driver could meet all the criteria mentioned above, except that not many of your friends and relatives would agree. Have you ever wondered what happened to that university classmate of yours? After years of job-hunting, he got a job with UTODA. He then changed his appearance to fit the new profile. Can you hook him up?
Many women have cars but few of them ever socialise with the mechanic who fixes that car, when it breaks down.
Actually, many mechanics speak good English and can hold a reasonable conversation. Indeed, many of them have been to college, and wake up everyday to make a positive difference in many people’s lives. Isn’t that something you would look for in someone of a different profession. But no! we would rather die before anyone heard that we were going out with a mechanic.
On a visit to a hospital, we see many people but never think about starting a relationship with anyone except the doctor. But there are other males working in there. And am not talking about the sanitary officers yet, but have you thought about the male nurse?
Hundreds of them are working in our hospitals these days. They are usually single and free, but how many times do you think about him, except when you need the drip adjusted. But can you doubt that he is a caring man? Ok he does not earn as much as the marketing manager, but we all know families that live on two salaries. Better still, we all know that they are not necessarily ignorant. male nurses are sensitive and caring. Who would not want that?
Ok, we all want good looking guys, but what if that good looking guy, is the office messenger? Would he fit in with your expectation? I know several office messengers, who have saved up their hard-earned cash to invest somewhere. Is that ambition, or are you worried somebody is going to be laughing behind your back?
Many women say they are looking to marry a God-fearing man. However, I still don’t know why nobody has ever mentioned dating a pastor? Is it not naughty enough to feel like an affair? Or is it that somewhere in the back of our minds, we feel that we might not see any fun in the relationship?
So I did not mention all the things that men get up to, but they are lurking everywhere we look, only that when we look in these areas, we are not looking for them. We are mostly looking for them at some of the high profile parties that we get invited to. Even then, the few we meet are already married, or at least ‘taken’. Take time and look. Men are just about everywhere. Just say hi!
You are in your late 20s and most of your friends have done it or are about to do it. Your family and friends are wondering, why you won’t stand up and be counted.
Suddenly, even you are beginning to worry, “Why have I not seen him? Why hasn’t he come up to me and said hi? Why have all my friends gotten lucky, and not me?â€
We are talking about men. Why are they so rare these days?
These days, lots of women go about their lives without ever ‘meeting’ a man.
Many parents have fretted and worried about their daughters.
After school, parents think their daughters will meet all sorts of men and try to marry them. Well, they are either wrong or something has gone wrong. The men have disappeared!
My brother disagrees. He says it is our fault because we no longer pay attention to the men. He thinks more women now have a long list of the ideal man that they would like to marry?
Have you also stopped to think that the expectations we have in our ideal man are actually miles ahead of what our mothers even considered important?
A run through several of my friends shows that they expect to marry a man, who is well educated, holds a responsible (whatever that means) job, comes from a ‘good’ family and is ambitious, caring, generous and definitely handsome.
The list differs from woman to woman but of late, wealthy, light skinned, tall and God-fearing men are the most popular.
If you consider the fact that many men come from poor backgrounds, you have to either scale down your expectations or look overseas for a suitor.
A taxi driver could meet all the criteria mentioned above, except that not many of your friends and relatives would agree. Have you ever wondered what happened to that university classmate of yours? After years of job-hunting, he got a job with UTODA. He then changed his appearance to fit the new profile. Can you hook him up?
Many women have cars but few of them ever socialise with the mechanic who fixes that car, when it breaks down.
Actually, many mechanics speak good English and can hold a reasonable conversation. Indeed, many of them have been to college, and wake up everyday to make a positive difference in many people’s lives. Isn’t that something you would look for in someone of a different profession. But no! we would rather die before anyone heard that we were going out with a mechanic.
On a visit to a hospital, we see many people but never think about starting a relationship with anyone except the doctor. But there are other males working in there. And am not talking about the sanitary officers yet, but have you thought about the male nurse?
Hundreds of them are working in our hospitals these days. They are usually single and free, but how many times do you think about him, except when you need the drip adjusted. But can you doubt that he is a caring man? Ok he does not earn as much as the marketing manager, but we all know families that live on two salaries. Better still, we all know that they are not necessarily ignorant. male nurses are sensitive and caring. Who would not want that?
Ok, we all want good looking guys, but what if that good looking guy, is the office messenger? Would he fit in with your expectation? I know several office messengers, who have saved up their hard-earned cash to invest somewhere. Is that ambition, or are you worried somebody is going to be laughing behind your back?
Many women say they are looking to marry a God-fearing man. However, I still don’t know why nobody has ever mentioned dating a pastor? Is it not naughty enough to feel like an affair? Or is it that somewhere in the back of our minds, we feel that we might not see any fun in the relationship?
So I did not mention all the things that men get up to, but they are lurking everywhere we look, only that when we look in these areas, we are not looking for them. We are mostly looking for them at some of the high profile parties that we get invited to. Even then, the few we meet are already married, or at least ‘taken’. Take time and look. Men are just about everywhere. Just say hi!