Bukumunhe’s Idle Notes

QUESTION: TB, who were the Members of Parliament allegedly given strokes of the cane by members of the armed forces recently?

Brace yourself for this because in the group was our friend, Odonga Otto who you remember tried to show his prowess as woman beater by trying to goof minister Ruth Nankabirwa in parliament. Along with him in the posse were MPs Regan Okumu, Nyeko Ocula, Morris Latigo.

But TB, the UPDF stationed in Pader, where the incident took place, have better ways to relieve their stress like fighting Kony than wasting their time giving kibookos to members of parliament. And another thing TB, what did the MPs do to the UPDF to warrant the beatings?

I would like to side with you on that. The UPDF do indeed have better ways to relieve their stress.

The MPs told the nation that when they got to Pajule sub-county, the army prevented them from addressing the wanainchi, and shortly after that, a melee broke out in which the MPs were caned.

In your opinion, do you think the MPs tried to throw their weight around and started mouthing off at the UPDF telling them that as MPs they can do what they want to do?

You have to understand I was not there, but looking at the behaviour of some the MPs - Otto and Okumu, the two were well known controversial characters in parliament and famed for almost daily uttering kimansulo of the mouth when parliament is in session. If you remember, some time back, Otto did the unthinkable by storming parliament with his family just to prove to Nankabirwa, that he has enough ‘seed’ in him to have a wife and sire kids. “I am not a boy. I am a man,” he told her!

Oh dear! What scandal do you have on Okumu, Ocula, and Latigo?
Unfortunately I did not have time to consult with the sergeant-at-arms at Parliament before we started this kaboozi, but the little I know of Okumu is that he is very vocal. As for the other two, Ocula and Latigo, I had never heard of them and asking around, nobody appears to know who they are and what they do as MPs.

TB, would you have an idea of how the MPs were flogged? Were they laid on the ground and caned. And another thing do you think that any of them wailed out?

According to the MPs, they were beaten all over the body and they sustained injuries. But those injuries were hardly visible when they were pictured in the papers seeing a doctor. For all I know, the MPs are crybabies and though they will not admit it, at least one of them must have cried. Who knows, that same crybaby even went further and pleaded for forgiveness.

What I don’t figure out is that at Parliament, Otto was so quick to jump to his feet and sneer at Nankabirwa along with a stance that suggested he could wallop the hell out of her. Why did he not have the same approach with the UPDF?

You have to understand that there is a big difference between boys and men. Some boys believe it makes them look manly when their chests swell out as they prepare to take on a woman by assuring her or beating her up. But when they meet their match as Otto found out with the UPDF, there is no swelling of the chest.

Instead it is a flat chest, followed, perhaps, by a spot of doing susu in the pants and wishing the mouth had been kept shut. If only Ruth Nankabirwa had been around to witness the caning Otto got, followed by the wailing he probably let out, she would have laughed all the way back to parliament!

tbukumunhe@newvision.co.ug