World Cup Live On Radio

By Denis JjuukoThe first time a world cup match was broadcast live over the radio was way back in the 1940s. By that time even Radio Uganda was not yet here. The 1998 world cup finals in France actually gave birth to what they call live transmission on the radio in Uganda. It all started with Radio Simba. The idea of this station must have been conceived during the run up to that final. A certain Kalyekyezi (Comedian Alex Mukulu) commentated ‘live’ in Luganda on the radio. Today, Japan/Korea are just next to you, at least that what FM radio stations are telling us. Almost all our radio stations are broadcasting the matches ‘live’. (pronounced laayiiivu) You do not need to tell those slave masters that you will be sick next week or you will be meeting a potential client just to go and watch your favourite Argentina being humiliated by one guy who cannot even use his left boot. In fact, David Beckham is normally referred to as an athlete, but Mr. Posh Spice scored! (On the pitch. Okay). The solution is simple get a karadio set and put it on your desk; promise, the fellows will keep you abreast with all the results.Technology has got an answer for you. No problems looking for street vendors in order to get a cheap thing of about 4K. Radios like CBS now transmit via the Internet. Just click and listen.The issue is this boisterous hilarious Ugandan radio commentator. The guy gets all the energy to tell you how Omoto is such a creative player. That Omoto does not exist. The guy’s name is Inamoto. “Oyo Omoto mubi, kyeyakola Manchester elifa Ekilojja,” (Manchester United will never forget how the Arsenal midfielder destroyed them) they scream into the microphones. They at times sing Omwoto guli wapi Japan, reminiscent of the 1986 war songs. To be honest, the guy played fewer games and never threatened the erstwhile English champions. Suzuki, the Japanese versatile striker is renamed motooka. We know that Suzuki is a name for vehicles, but it is not the car on the pitch. When it comes to the likes of Luis Figo and Patrick Vieira, they will tell you how the guys play all season minus injuries. “Figo scores in every match,” a radio presenter swears. Surely, Figo does not have such a record. When Julius Aghahowa scored for Nigeria against Sweden, a commentator said that: “Aghahowa akubye summer, eno ali ku ya 120.” Though the Nigerian back flips when he scores, he can’t surely do it non-stop 120 times.They never tell the reality. Simba’s Kalyekezi continuously told us that Emerson was playing so well against China. The reality is that the skipper for the Samba Boys never played because of injury.However, it seems reality never matters. Most people who listen to them love them. They reduce the volume of the TV set and increase that of the radio. In case they get bored with one station, they tune to another. When teams like South Korea are playing, you are informed of all names. “Kun Kwan Chini Changa has scored. My brothers, the Americans are in trouble. They can’t survive Taipei. Shanghai is going ahead. The coach is about to introduce Hong Kong for Chayi Lii,” they shout. Hong Kong? I wonder how the poor coach can successfully do that. He will need supernatural powers to shift that former British colony on to the soccer pitch.“Omumerika abafanana kati yalina omupiira. Aduuka tamanyi na Bin Laden. Aba Koreeya kati bafunye Kolera bafuuse Ba commandos.” (The American who looks like you and me has the ball, and does not care about bin Laden. The Koreans have become commandos, but they are suffering from cholera.)Enjoy your football, but remember those “live” transmissions on radio could surely take you for a ride.Ends