Parent Your Child Or Someone Else Will

By Joan MugenziLast Friday, students came back on holiday. In store for them are different kinds of activities, some constructive, others destructive for sure: Many of these dear students, who have a whole future ahead of them, are engrossed in pornography. It is becoming a nightmare raising a child in this sex-saturated world. Parents are in a dilemma. One would read this from the face of every single parent that turned up for the parenting seminar held at Mengo S.S. last week.The seminar was organised by the Family Life Network (FLN), an NGO whose vision is to restore family values and morals in society. FLN has in the past held seminars for students. What they have heard is stunning. Students feed their souls on pornographic material. Some become so badly addicted that their studies are affected.One of the main issues at the parenting seminar was ‘Parenting your Child in this Sex Saturated World,’ a paper presented by Dr. Sam Luboga, an associate dean (Education) in the Faculty of Medicine, Makerere University.The paper focussed on child upbringing and the fact that parents should be open with their children, never thinking that they are ignorant of their surroundings. This is something that Reverend Dr. John Ssenyonyi, university chaplain at the Uganda Christian University, Mukono, backed. He warned: “If you don’t parent your child, someone else will.”The seminar intended to open the parents’ eyes to what their kids go through, give them tips on how to manage kids in a sex-mad world and afford them opportunity to dialogue with fellow parents and share experiences.“When you look at the statistics, you can actually see that there is a problem. Children tend to disclose their secrets to people they don’t know than the people they know,” said Stephen Langa, FLN director. In FLN’s findings reveal that children have access to pornography through the media, the internet and blue movies. As a result, many have engaged in early sex and masturbation, some even turning to drugs.Ssenyonyi said pornography presents in all the avenues of communication, although many people think of it in terms of pictures. “Pornography can be presented in written text, pictures, music, dances, all intended to excite erotic feelings. Some of it (pornography) is extremely subtle while some of it is graphic,” he said.Ssenyonyi added that pornography is like an industry, with people reaping financially, but many people in Uganda are still in a dangerous state of denial. They do not believe that pornography is dangerous at all. But it is the truth and as children come for holidays, Ssenyonyi advised parents to always tell their children that “garbage in, garbage out.”He had stern words for rules in the home: “Children are children. Parents, do not surrender your homes. Children shouldn’t have unlimited freedom in the home. Set boundaries for children: Tell them where they should go and the time they should come back.”As the discussion went on, it became apparent that many parents do not discuss with their children. They order them around. This makes them wild. Parents admitted that fathers have neglected their roles, leaving the burden of raising children to the women. Could this be why few of the 100 participants were men?Ends