Encourage your child to think positively

Mar 11, 2001

A few years ago, I met a 12-year-old boy playing with seven and eight-year-olds. I was curious to find out why he was not playing with his agemates. I asked him in what class he was. He responded, "Ndi mukyakabiri.

By Margaret K. Lubega -- Negative thinking corrodes self-confidence and negatively affects our children A few years ago, I met a 12-year-old boy playing with seven and eight-year-olds. I was curious to find out why he was not playing with his agemates. I asked him in what class he was. He responded, "Ndi mukyakabiri. Tinsoma kurungi habwokuba ndi mudoma." ( I am in P.2. I do not perform well because I am dull.) I was dumb-struck by such honesty and its implications. Negative thinking, for this is what I perceived it to be in the above case, is simply a bad habit, psychologists say. Surprisingly our children pick it up at a very early age. Negative thinking corrodes self-confidence and negatively affects our children. How do you know if your school-going child has such tendency? Take their books and check them regularly. See how they perform. Ask why they got this right or why they got that wrong. The response will be a helpful clue on what the child thinks about himself. Here are some ways that can help your children think positively. l Help them start the day with positive thoughts. You could, for example, start them off with a hug. Or you could say something nice to them. For those of you who believe in God, teaching them a simple prayer of asking God to give them joy, peace and the wisdom to do the day's work is a good thing. l At the end of the day, if you are home before they go to sleep, leave time in the evening to share good impressions and achievements of the day. I have begun this with my little boy and we both enjoy it. l Discourage your children from talking to themselves in a negative way. By the way, talking to oneself does not always mean that one is mad as we tend to believe. l Instead encourage them regularly to use positive affirmations such as, 'I can do it,' 'I am a great Mathematician,' 'Exams are a challenge but I will make it.' l Discourage them from negative confessions especially if they tend to blame themselves. Suggest replacing them with the reality and hope for a more positive outcome. Look out for statements like, 'I never get my sums right,' 'I have got it wrong again.' You will need to be careful here so as not to counter their gloom with a false or unreasonable hope. Instead teach the child not to undermine their confidence with self-defeating talk. Ends

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