Do not fast sex this Lent period
WE, Catholics are in Lent. Fasting is supposed to …, well, at least I know it is supposed to do something good to this world.
By Hillary Bainemigisha
WE, Catholics are in Lent. Fasting is supposed to …, well, at least I know it is supposed to do something good to this world.
But, unlike Muslims, we can eat and go about looking normal like we are not fasting. Actually, the moment people get to know you are fasting salt in food, or an evening beer, your rewards decrease. That is why, in spite of an annual fasting of 1.2 billion Roman Catholics, the sins of the world have simply refused to go away.
We are supposed to fast something you love most as long as it is not The Movement. I know how you love sex, but it is also on my list of the things you must not fast. I know Jesus spent his life fasting this one, according to scriptures, but that was because he was single and still searching for his sheep. For the married, this is why fasting sex violates the Constitution.
One, marital sex is not an individual affair. Marriage brings a partner into your private parts. For you, privacy starts to mean two people. That partner becomes a stakeholder who must be consulted for a free and uninfluenced opinion. And yet, consulting the partner for a co-fasting regime of no sex removes your reward because no one else should have an idea of what you are fasting. When you do it alone, you violate the divine rights of your partner and disorganise the motive of Lent.
Two, the spirit behind Lent is to save the money you would have spent and give it to the needy. Unless your marriage is run on a quid-pro-quo basis, there will be no money saved from fasting sex. So, charity gets nothing from your Lent. But if you decide to fast bread, for instance, you can donate to charity the savings accrued from it.
Three, sex is increasingly becoming something we have to bribe our spouses with in order to keep them from stuffing other people’s ballot boxes. Many a time, we end up in rallies because the voters have gathered and are already in romantic mood singing Mp’enkoni. The only thing that may be allowed to interrupt the voters’ demands should be an Arsenal match. All other excuses can only stand if properly communicated and a clearance sought from IGP Kale Kayihura.
Four, the country is bracing itself for drought. You should not add your own. The specific side effects can disorganise the entire marriage in just a few days. Suddenly, a quiet wife may start singing romantic songs after lights out – which would not be a problem if she is not using your ear as her microphone.
And that is all I could muster today. Sorry if you are non-Catholic. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
WE, Catholics are in Lent. Fasting is supposed to …, well, at least I know it is supposed to do something good to this world.
But, unlike Muslims, we can eat and go about looking normal like we are not fasting. Actually, the moment people get to know you are fasting salt in food, or an evening beer, your rewards decrease. That is why, in spite of an annual fasting of 1.2 billion Roman Catholics, the sins of the world have simply refused to go away.
We are supposed to fast something you love most as long as it is not The Movement. I know how you love sex, but it is also on my list of the things you must not fast. I know Jesus spent his life fasting this one, according to scriptures, but that was because he was single and still searching for his sheep. For the married, this is why fasting sex violates the Constitution.
One, marital sex is not an individual affair. Marriage brings a partner into your private parts. For you, privacy starts to mean two people. That partner becomes a stakeholder who must be consulted for a free and uninfluenced opinion. And yet, consulting the partner for a co-fasting regime of no sex removes your reward because no one else should have an idea of what you are fasting. When you do it alone, you violate the divine rights of your partner and disorganise the motive of Lent.
Two, the spirit behind Lent is to save the money you would have spent and give it to the needy. Unless your marriage is run on a quid-pro-quo basis, there will be no money saved from fasting sex. So, charity gets nothing from your Lent. But if you decide to fast bread, for instance, you can donate to charity the savings accrued from it.
Three, sex is increasingly becoming something we have to bribe our spouses with in order to keep them from stuffing other people’s ballot boxes. Many a time, we end up in rallies because the voters have gathered and are already in romantic mood singing Mp’enkoni. The only thing that may be allowed to interrupt the voters’ demands should be an Arsenal match. All other excuses can only stand if properly communicated and a clearance sought from IGP Kale Kayihura.
Four, the country is bracing itself for drought. You should not add your own. The specific side effects can disorganise the entire marriage in just a few days. Suddenly, a quiet wife may start singing romantic songs after lights out – which would not be a problem if she is not using your ear as her microphone.
And that is all I could muster today. Sorry if you are non-Catholic. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.