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When boys hook up with loaded women

By Vision Reporter

Added 6th May 2011 03:00 AM

IT is Hollywood style where celebrities like Madonna and Demi Moore got married to younger men. Then, it came down to Africa and also caught up with Ugandan celebrities.

IT is Hollywood style where celebrities like Madonna and Demi Moore got married to younger men. Then, it came down to Africa and also caught up with Ugandan celebrities.

By Angela Ndagano

IT is Hollywood style where celebrities like Madonna and Demi Moore got married to younger men. Then, it came down to Africa and also caught up with Ugandan celebrities.

A song was even composed to ridicule one artiste who relied on a rich older woman to rise to fame. Some artistes have even faced the law for allegedly swindling money from older women.

But, before we dismiss it as a thing for desperate upcoming artistes, meeting point platforms in the media now have a growing number of men looking for women over 40 years old.

The scenes most of us are accustomed to, is when young women date rich, older men. But when the tables are turned, we wonder what the cause is.

Some men say they go for older women because of the money, arguing that younger women are too demanding. They say the demand of today’s glamour girl pushes them to the open arms of older ladies. The young men find themselves entangled in the Robin Hood state: take from the rich woman and give to the poor one.

“These days young girls are tricky. If you do not have money you cannot date them,’’ says Michael, 24. And how would he know? Well, at his age, he is dating an older woman to sustain his younger girlfriend.

“I know I am cheating on my girl but it is for her own benefit. Besides, she never asks me where I get the money from when I buy her expensive things, yet she knows I earn very little money,” he adds.

Joseph, a businessman has a similar view. “We are competing with older men who can afford to buy the young women anything. Rich, older women can supplement our income.”

Meanwhile, some are quick to blame the usual suspect, the Government. “Look at the current situation. There are no jobs, yet society still expects us to be providers. Do not blame us for dating rich, older women. Blame the Government,” says Isaiah, 27.
However, some people are disgusted by such men.

They believe men who go for older women, are lazy and have lost the foresight and zeal that our forefathers had. They say this new breed of men who want to be taken care of are an embarrassment to the male species.

“Today, young men are obsessed with getting free things; they do not want to work,” says James, a banker, adding that annoyingly, such men are the ones who want to lead glamourous lives like movie stars.

“I have friends who do not work but they spend a lot of time partying and taking girls out. They depend on older women to sustain their lifestyle,’’ says Oscar. The desire to get rich quickly has led younger men to the beds of older women.

“My dad bought his first car at 40, but don’t expect me to wait until I am 40 to get mine, while my course mates are already driving,” says one university student.

But it may not always be about the money. Some men say they are being misjudged by society. They argue that men love women who make them emotionally comfortable and older women do exactly that.

“Young women have hundreds of men chasing after them and they are not settled. But older women know what they want,” says Timothy, a 26-year-old accountant.

Besides the comfort, older women are deemed to be better lovers by some men. They are tender and caring, plus they boast of vast experience.

Another argument is, much like the forbidden fruit, older women are theoretically off limits for younger guys. Yet, men tend to want what they cannot, or should not have.

Mature women represent an unfulfilled fantasy for some young men, who have sexual fantasies about them. Such young men go for the older women to fulfill their fantasies.

One other fact that cannot be denied is that over the years, women have experienced a significant rise in financial status.

Many women now earn their own money and can determine their social status.Women can now choose to be with a man they want to be with, inspite of age.

Aside from that, these days there are anti-aging cosmetics that can make a 40-year-old woman appear like she is 20 and appeal to the younger men.

The market has been flooded with anti-aging creams and make-up to cover up wrinkles. And with the money that women are earning, such cosmetics are not out of reach.

The effects of such cosmetics are enhanced by the fact that many women do physical exercises that enable them to appear younger.

Sometimes the young men have fallen for these women without even knowing their actual age. Such is the power of the cosmetics combined with money.

COUNSELLOR'S VIEW


Henry Nsubuga, the president of Uganda counseling association, says young men are drawn into such relationships for convenience.

“Older women offer a lot of resources. People enter relationships in search of something either emotional or physical, but these young men are driven by material gains.”

However, he says entering a relationship with such motives does not guarantee happiness.

“After you have all the cars and the money, you will not be happy because deep down you know that is not the person you want to be with.”

Why you shouldn’t opt for older women


Gerard Pique, a Barcelona FC star, is 10 years younger than his sweetheart, Shakira! And everything seems to be going just right for the 24-year-old soccer player. But if their relationship inspires you to marry an older woman, here is a word of caution.

  • A woman who is more than two years older than you is likely to have different goals, which can be a source of trouble.

  • Be prepared to surrender your ego. An older woman will most likely take you for granted, because of her seniority in age and often, money.

  • Few parents would approve of their children getting older suitors. If you get an older partner, you may not count on your parents for support.

  • For women, having a young lover boosts their ego, but society may frown at you in public.

  • If you make a lifetime commitment, chances are that her looks will fade faster.

  • A woman’s fear of aging before her partner may become a source of problems in future.

  • After menopause, women’s sex drive starts reducing. If you are in it for the sex, you might get disappointed.

  • There is a higher risk of getting HIV from an older woman than from your age mate or slightly younger woman. This is because it is most likely that an older woman has previously had many other sexual partners. And, you never know what diseases she could have got from them.

  • When boys hook up with loaded women

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