Making a domestic budget
Jun 10, 2011
I rarely receive complaints about my column. But last week, one Marion Among complained that I focus too much on politics, instead of matters of deep concern to our hearts. OK, I will take criticism and promise to stick to the heart and all its capillaries. So, today my topic will be: The Budget, Ki
I rarely receive complaints about my column. But last week, one Marion Among complained that I focus too much on politics, instead of matters of deep concern to our hearts. OK, I will take criticism and promise to stick to the heart and all its capillaries. So, today my topic will be: The Budget, Kiwanuka’s budget.
OK, she read it but it cannot be hers. It was prepared long before she actually thought she would ever become a minister. Just like you can raise kids you did not manufacture believing they are yours. Your wife, not being a journalist, has no obligation to let you know.
Marion, the budget is a matter of the heart. Mine beat so hard while waiting for petrol to suffer a tax cut in vain. Who did the budget writer consult?
Which reminds me; How often do we meet as spouses to budget for our homes? If you dont mind, I have a story for you.
A few months into our marriage, my wife and I discovered that we needed to do more than have fun. We decided to budget. And as happens to many governments, we lost the original copy and did not even moan the loss. That budget was threatening to break our young marriage more than its absence would have.
Over to the scene:
ME: Your salon should be once in six months
HER: What! It must be weekly and that is because I know you will refuse daily.
ME: Oh, my God! That will easily be 40% of our income spent on just you! In that case, we allocate the same amount of money to me under miscellaneous, once every week.
HER: Why are you selfish? (Don’t wonder how ‘selfish’ comes in. It is my wife’s favourite phrase. I stopped minding too during our honey moon) How come when it came to the relatives section, you argued against equal share between mine and yours?
ME: It cannot be equal. Like the leisure part. I want more money for my own leisure. You are a woman, society does not allow you to hang out without me.
HER: Selfish man! (You see? I told you!). I am not married to society. I want the same money for my own leisure activities.
ME: You cannot hang out alone. I don’t want to be forced into situations where I need to kill somebody.
HER: Then neither can you! Let’s budget for joint leisure
ME: Never! My friends cannot keep buying booze for me and I don’t buy.
HER: Then don’t go! It is selfish to … (I don’t listen to the rest. The selfish label starts vexing me like a walk-to-work demonstration).
ME: Rage all you want, I don’t care. I need to make friends for the family. By the way, I hate hanging out. I only go to make friends who can help the family.
HER: That is selfish (The S word again! Next time I will explode: I promise). Who said we only make friends in bars?
ME: You are forgetting that I contribute more money to this budget.
HER: Only because I handle family domestic demands more. You wouldn’t have forgotten that if you were not seeing things in a selfish light.
The S word again! That is when I exploded but not on her. The debris spilled on the budget papers and they have never been seen again. For those who want to try budgeting, call me first and I give you Kayihura’s number. You will need a peace-keeping force.
OK, she read it but it cannot be hers. It was prepared long before she actually thought she would ever become a minister. Just like you can raise kids you did not manufacture believing they are yours. Your wife, not being a journalist, has no obligation to let you know.
Marion, the budget is a matter of the heart. Mine beat so hard while waiting for petrol to suffer a tax cut in vain. Who did the budget writer consult?
Which reminds me; How often do we meet as spouses to budget for our homes? If you dont mind, I have a story for you.
A few months into our marriage, my wife and I discovered that we needed to do more than have fun. We decided to budget. And as happens to many governments, we lost the original copy and did not even moan the loss. That budget was threatening to break our young marriage more than its absence would have.
Over to the scene:
ME: Your salon should be once in six months
HER: What! It must be weekly and that is because I know you will refuse daily.
ME: Oh, my God! That will easily be 40% of our income spent on just you! In that case, we allocate the same amount of money to me under miscellaneous, once every week.
HER: Why are you selfish? (Don’t wonder how ‘selfish’ comes in. It is my wife’s favourite phrase. I stopped minding too during our honey moon) How come when it came to the relatives section, you argued against equal share between mine and yours?
ME: It cannot be equal. Like the leisure part. I want more money for my own leisure. You are a woman, society does not allow you to hang out without me.
HER: Selfish man! (You see? I told you!). I am not married to society. I want the same money for my own leisure activities.
ME: You cannot hang out alone. I don’t want to be forced into situations where I need to kill somebody.
HER: Then neither can you! Let’s budget for joint leisure
ME: Never! My friends cannot keep buying booze for me and I don’t buy.
HER: Then don’t go! It is selfish to … (I don’t listen to the rest. The selfish label starts vexing me like a walk-to-work demonstration).
ME: Rage all you want, I don’t care. I need to make friends for the family. By the way, I hate hanging out. I only go to make friends who can help the family.
HER: That is selfish (The S word again! Next time I will explode: I promise). Who said we only make friends in bars?
ME: You are forgetting that I contribute more money to this budget.
HER: Only because I handle family domestic demands more. You wouldn’t have forgotten that if you were not seeing things in a selfish light.
The S word again! That is when I exploded but not on her. The debris spilled on the budget papers and they have never been seen again. For those who want to try budgeting, call me first and I give you Kayihura’s number. You will need a peace-keeping force.