Interview with Bad Black's "Friends"
Nov 25, 2011
Bad Black is the rich…okay the used-to-be rich Kampala socialite who is in the cooler for what people are calling fraud but I call reaping the fruits of long hard nights of doing nothing and just lying on your back. Sleeping pays dividends
Bad Black is the rich…okay the used-to-be rich Kampala socialite who is in the cooler for what people are calling fraud but I call reaping the fruits of long hard nights of doing nothing and just lying on your back. Sleeping pays dividends. Timothy Niwamanya fabricated an interview with two of what he imagined her friends were like to see what they thought about her predicament and how life without her is. The interview was done in Luganda.
Q: What are your names?
FRIEND1: My name is Dirty Green alias Nabweteme Scovia.
FRIEND2: My name is Cantankerous White alias Odongkara Rose.
Q: So on the issue of the high priestess of Kampala night life Latifah Nalukenge; what do you have to say concerning her incarceration?
DG: Latifah who?
CW: Nalukenge is who? (Sic)
Q: You are the hypocrites Kid Fox was talking about! You knew her as Bad Black. I thought it was obvious because she was your only call to fame let alone an interview by me.
DG: Oh yes! She used to buy us expensive drinks and clothes. Good times.
CW: Kale I did not know she had a Ugandan name. She made being a broke parasite the best experience I have had all my life.
Q: Answer my question.
DG: Okay, I don’t party as hard as I used to and drink the expensive liquor brands she used to spend on but I am getting the hang of local stuff like Royal Vodka and Kasese.
CW: I need a job.
Q: Did you broads understand my question?
DG: I have been so broke of late. I am thinking of going back to being a queen dancer for kadongo kamu. Times have changed. I even understand the whole concept of economic inflation now.
CW: I think I should join Zari’s camp. When is she coming back into the country?
(At this point, I was about to smash my head against the nearest rock. Stress just.)
Q: Okay just tell me anything sensible related to your fallen party animal friend’s situation. Please.
DG: Just like most of the rest of the nation, I don’t give a damn. It’s not like if she wins the case she will still be rich. She will be poor, broke, broke I tell you!
CW: She wanted publicity and any publicity is good publicity, even this case. At least she was on the front page of a well-respected publication like this one and not some random printed material named after a plant or condiment.
Q: Well put. Future plans? What next?
DG: I think I will also look for an old fat rich man and do him a “bad-black” but this time I will go someplace where he, Kayihura or Interpol won’t find me like Kalerwe and party like a rock star.
CW: Dirty Green are you serious? Look for a white guy? I already have my eyes on one. As soon as he is done suing the woman I will “bad black” him the second time.
Q: Thanks for the interview, now get the out of here and buy something called a life with the money you get from the next guy you “bad black”.