Unleashing his mistress on his wife...

The Baganda have a saying about one mulya mamba (a member of the Mamba clan) doing something and giving the rest a bad name.

 

It is a feeling that cuts across, which is why when a student of a given school is apprehended ‘doing bad manners’ on the dance floor in a public hall, the other students in his school will want to disown the act as a reflection of their school culture.

 

So when you see a man who sneaks out of his marital home and begins liaisons with other women, then either unleashes those other women on his wife or, when the poaching women begin to attack and abuse the wife, the man does nothing, you want to reach out and restrain him. 

 

For, though women give men a hard time taming into wives, there’s no reason you should get her off the open market and then go ahead to her like she’s the one who came pleading to become your wife.

 

I know one who left his gorgeous wife to seek cheap pleasures with women, who are a blot on womanhood. Not once, not 10 times. He made it a lifestyle to sneak out and sleep with these women. Eventually, one of them sought out the wife and told her, ‘You’re so-and-so’s wife, aren’t you?’ The wife said yes, I am. Who are you?

 

“I am the woman who does for him what you can’t do,” the other woman responded gleefully.

‘What can’t I do?’

 

‘Well, better ask him, because every time I host him, he tells me all your failings, which it is no duty of mine to tell you. Just learn to do your stuff well.’

 

Picture that! Picture that poor woman, looking at this woman who can’t afford to get her own husband, maybe because she can’t handle poachers, who come to a legal wife and taunt her, saying they’ve been standing (standing?) in for her.

But that is the more kindly type. I have heard about others who, just for the kick of it, call the wife names, heaping abuse on her, including saying things no sane writer can type… things which make the wife feel dirty. Others start a smear campaign against the wife, causing the community to look at her in disdain. All this while, her man, who should be her protector, is looking on and feeling great, because well, how many men have women fighting over them?

 

And such women should not even be there thinking this article finds no fault in their wicked carryings-on. What sort of woman would not use the opportunity to join forces with a fellow woman to tame such a philandering husband?

 

I sometimes draw pictures of such a scenario in my mind. Dude leaves his wife, to go sex-hunting. He finds another woman minding her business, and tells her whatever nonsense such men tell such women. Woman listens intently and agrees to his schemes. Along the way, she gets to know where he lives and who his wife is. Well, here are two ways to be a true heroine:

 

One, follow him one day and, at the top of your voice, tell his wife the whole story and tell her you’re on womankind’s side. Tell her if she knows on the spur of the moment where she wants to take him, you would kindly help to accompany them.

But since he might want to deny that, get the other woman to come home ahead of him, the day he is visiting. When he arrives, she is there with you to welcome him… 

 

Well, that would be the case if women were the type to save fellow women. Unfortunately, for every philandering man, there’s a woman going behind a fellow woman’s back, killing her marriage!