Dealing with a moody spouse

 

We all have moments in our lives when we do not want to talk to anyone or hang out with others. Such moments may last a short while, but sometimes stretch for a long period. During times such as these, it is very uncomfortable being around a moody person.

 

Dealing with a person who keeps getting moody — and it usually results from trivial issues — can lead to mental stress. This has damaged many relationships.

 

Jackie Naggayi, who had just found a new boyfriend had a hard time trying to be romantic and nice to him. He would be happy for a short while before his mood swings set in. He would suddenly become picky, take himself too seriously and start slamming doors. When Naggayi complained about his behaviour, his reaction was: “That’s me. I cannot change. I need my space!”

 

The story is not very different for Natasha Kabiito, who says whenever her husband feels low, every word that comes out of his mouth is negative. His moodiness leaves every family member sad. The house is silent whenever he is home. She loves watching comedies, but cannot watch a single movie to the end before being interrupted by her husband’s temper tantrums.

 

According to Anne Tweheyo of Uganda Counselling Association, it is difficult to deal with a moody person, “but you need to understand and love your spouse the way they are”. 

 

“Wait for your partner to calm down and tell them how you feel when they start acting up,” Tweheyo advises. For couples that have children, she says: “Be ready to help your spouse change into a better person because the children might also be affected. Make sure your children learn healthy ways to deal with other people’s feelings.”

 

Esther Namutebi, a lawyer, says it’s important to find out the cause of your spouse’s moodiness. “It could be stress at work or financial challenges. If he prefers to go out with his male friends, do not stand in his way.

 

That could be his way of dealing with his situation. If he is willing to talk, listen, but do not try to fix the problem,” she adds.