Why won't he move into my house?

Oct 18, 2011

He thought shifting into her house would be a disgrace. She insisted on it, but he stood his ground. A series of arguments ensued and ultimately led to their break up.

 By Vicky Wandawa

He thought shifting into her house would be a disgrace. She insisted on it, but he stood his ground. A series of arguments ensued and ultimately led to their break up.  

Herbert believes that a man should never move into their fiancée or girlfriend’s house. On the contrary, his ex-girlfriend, Rita thought it obvious that the two would start their new life together in her house since they would move into one of the houses she had built to rent out. They would then save the money that would have been spent on rent.

But his reaction, “I wouldn’t be man enough had I agreed to her proposal, moving into a woman’s house? No way!”

Just like Herbert, Jeremy Mukisa, a social worker admits, “Moving into a woman’s house is more like crushing my identity as a man. What will my friends say?

How about her relatives, they will all think I am living off her and that makes me feel less of a man. It’s bad enough that I am renting and she owns a house. Even if I agreed to move into her house, I would be uncomfortable.”

At a certain point in a relationship, a couple might choose to live together, prior to or after marriage, depending on their values.

 

When everything in the relationship is looking to the brighter side, that a couple would consider sharing a bed every night, disagreeing over which of their homes to shift into would be the least of their worries, or so it seems.

Things change...

In African culture, by default, it is the woman who packs her bags and moves into the man’s house. However, with the current trends, of women climbing high up the career ladders and owning property, it is not as obvious that they will move into their fiancé’s or husband’s house, for the reason that they might have built their own, or are renting considerably well-furnished houses.

Hence, even when the two are each renting houses, it might not be obvious that the woman will move into her fiancé’s or boyfriend’s house. It is especially so, if she has lived for a while on her own and made a home, an argument over which house

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