The meanings of "yes"

Dr. Ian Clarke

I HAVE learned that when I ask someone to carry out a task, and they respond in the affirmative, that ‘yes’ is no guarantee at all that the task will actually be completed.

This small three-letter word has many different meanings, depending who you are talking to and under which circumstances you receive the answer.

Here are some rules to ensure that you do not fall into the ‘yes trap’:

Never ask a leading question: “Is this the way to (wherever you are going)?” “Yes.” “Are we nearly there?” “Yes.” “Is church nearly over?” “Yes,” some of our favourite questions as kids.

“Are you about to arrive?” “Yes.” Now if the person tells you. “I am about”, or “I am just round the corner”, or “I am just driving out”, be even more suspicious.

Find out which corner and where exactly he is leaving from; he might be in Gulu, and the person who is just driving out is probably still in the shower.

Also be careful about estimates of time. “When will you be here?” “In about twenty minutes.” Such estimates have a wide variation of error and twenty minutes could mean anything from an hour to not at all.

When you get on a boda boda, never ask: “Do you know the directions (to the destination)?” And then sit back and relax.

Because he will head off in some random direction. Sit behind him and point.

If you want someone to do something for you, do not just explain the task and accept the ‘yes’ as an indication that the job will be done.

Get the person to repeat what you have said, and then ask him specific questions, such as does he have the necessary equipment and exactly when will he do it.

If you are a mzungu, never try to explain anything complicated over the phone.

The person will definitely say ‘yes’ and hang up without having understood exactly what has been said.

It is then like Chinese whispers because he will do what he thinks you have said – probably something completely different from what you want done.

There are very good cultural reasons why people say ‘yes’, one of which is the wish not to offend.
It is much better manners to say ‘yes’ and not do anything, than to say ‘no’ and cause offence.

I know why people say ‘yes’ to me in particular. It is because they have not understood a word I have said and are desperate to make me go away!

Usually, the person says ‘yes’ and nods enthusiastically as I go to great lengths to explain what I want done. Then as soon as I have left, he turns to someone else and asks: “What did he say?”

But even among those who have understood me, there are many who say ‘yes’ simply as a matter of course because they are saying that at some point they have the intention to carry out the task but this depends on the circumstances.

Last week, one of the tyres on the JCB blew out. Knowing that there were other diggers in the yard, I called across and asked a mechanic if he would change a good tire for our blown tyre, to which he said ‘yes’.

Two hours later, I called into the yard myself to discover that there was a tyre leaning against the wall; many people were sitting around, but no-one had done anything.
This is an example of the difference between the intention and the result.

The mechanics had the intention, but then the new tyre also had a puncture, and there was no fuel for the pick-up, and they did not have five thousand shillings to fix the tube, etc, etc. Consequently, nothing could happen.

So, always try to analyse which category a person is in when you receive the answer yes. Are they just being polite? Have they not understood you?

Do they just want you to go away and get out of their face? Or do they genuinely have the intention?
Sadly, we all know that there are multiple circumstances which can interfere with achieving a result.