Hopeful even after 10 years of waiting for a child - Jaqi Deweyi

Jaqi deweyi, a radio presenter, has been married for about 10 years, but has not given up on the hope that she will have a child one day. She plans to start counselling sessions for women who are struggling to bear children. Carol Kasujja talked to her.

Did you always want to become a radio presenter?

We used to listen to the radio a lot in our house when I was growing up and that is how I picked interest. It did not happen immediately. After high school, I started looking around. So, one day, I got a call from a friend asking whether I still wanted to be on radio, I welcomed the opportunity and I started with one of the local radio station. I really wanted to be on radio that I worked for a year without pay. I was youngand the slot they gave me was at 3:00am, but I was happy that I was on radio. At my age, I was able to fall in love with country music, because that was the only music to be played.


Your fans follow you wherever you go. what do you think makes you special?

I have a great voice, I do research so that I inform my fans. I leave my home at 5:00am and I go back home after midnight.


How do you balance work and marriage?

My husband is my manager and is my number one fan. We also do a lot of things together. Broadcasting gives you a lot of space to catch up with your loved ones. When I complete my morning show, I have time to chat with my husband. Sometimes we have lunch together and that helps us to bond.


How have you managed to keep the fire in your marriage?

We have never stopped dating each other. My husband is still my best friend and we communicate like we used to when we had just met. We also go out to have meals at restaurants in town. We always go for vacation every week. It does not have to be expensive. It can be in Mukono. We also do a lot of things together.

You have been in marriage for 10 years without a child, how have you managed?

It is not a bed of roses, but I accepted that I have a problem. So, I do not get stressed over it when someone asks me about it. I have a medical file in every good fertility centre in Uganda, but I have to accept that it is God who gives children. I am still going strong because my husband is standing with me. He made a decision that he will remain with me, no matter the situation. I also have a supportive family, both my in-laws and my relatives. Our relatives are patient enough and they have left us to deal with the issue.


Advice to a woman who is struggling to get a child?

I know everyone wants to have a child, but when you are friends with your spouse, there is a way you support each other. Do not live in denial, accept your problem, when you try to hide the truth from people, they will use it to hurt you more,but you disarm them when you tell them the truth. Be patient, focused, principled and wait on God. Do not visit witchdoctors. Doctors will tell you that this month you are going to conceive, then before you know it, you see periods, yet the tablets and tests are expensive.


In your journey of trying to get a child, what has been your worst experience? 

I was on treatment, responded well and everything looked perfect. Even doctors were happy that God had answered my prayers. However, after one month, I started bleeding. I was hurt. I have tried so many things that right now I have taken a break and only waiting on God. I know, one day, God will give me a child. My search for a child has taught me how to pray. The new Mulago Specialised Women's Hospital is also expensive that, I cannot afford the services offered. You need sh10m to do an IVF.


What would you do if you found out that your husband has children outside your marriage?

The truth is, I do not know how I would react, but I would be hurt and broken. I am still strong because of his assurance that we are in this together. So, for me to find out that he has a child, it would be disappointing.


Any plans?

I want to start counselling classes for married women who have failed to conceive. Women go through a lot. Some are looked at as curses, while others are beaten.