Resilience, an evolving concept

By Ritah Namwanje

Oftentimes it is easy for anyone to become a victim of circumstances; pain, grief, bad times, the list can be endless. Needless to say, in such dark moments the need for sympathy can be great; it gives the feeling that someone's agony is not being appreciated, and that they are not alone in their suffering. Sympathy can really feel soothing mostly in worst times but reality is it may not be necessary. Picture this: you are drowning and desperately struggling against the odds to somehow keep breathing; would you prefer sympathy or a lift from the water.  Resilience, in this context, would be that lift out of the water. Resilience is the mental ability to recover quickly from depression, illness or misfortune.

At the heart of resilience lies the capacity to rise above adversity, fed by a belief in something larger than oneself, and the victimising circumstances. To believe that life is much bigger than the bullying misfortune and that somehow the events will work out for a greater good is admittedly an almost impossible and yet vital experience in the lifecycle of resilience. Resilient people do not let adversity define them, they find resilience as a foundation on which to grow even taller by moving towards a goal beyond themselves.

It is necessary to go back and reinterpret past events to find a new meaning to them. Some evidence shows that it is not until adulthood that people begin to surmount the difficulties of childhood and reconstruct their lives. A troubled family, for instance, can inflict considerable harm on its children, but resilient people are challenged by such troubles to experiment and respond actively and creatively. Their pre-emptive responses to adversity are repeated over time and become incorporated into their inner selves as lasting strengths. Through resilience, children of troubled families are not crippled by hardships but can rebound and emerge as strong adults, able to lead gratifying lives. Such do not walk in between the raindrops and hence they have scars to show for their countless struggles.

Some often argue that resilience is genetic because they seem to differ in their inborn ability to handle life stresses, but resilience can be cultivated. That is to say that it is very much possible to strengthen your inner self and belief regardless of your genetic composition. The psyche can be so fortified as to effectively deal with breaches of disappointment. To foster resilience, there is need to refrain from casting blame on oneself or others for what has gone wrong. It is hard to learn anything new if you push yourself and blame someone else for any disappointments; these must be stepping stones that will help open your mind to learning.

When disappointment steals its way in, and you feel low and worked up with the things you have committed to, let this not cringe your mustered strength. Rather, beat yourself hard and turn into your own personal police for emotional and psychological stability. Get up to the game, work on your mindset and try even harder to reach your destination because what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger; and this, I will demonstrate with the experiences of some of the greatest achievers this world has had, who eventually came out victorious in spite of the formidable setbacks they had to encounter.

After being cut from his High School basketball team, he went home, locked himself in his room and cried - Michael Jordan (Greatest basketball player of all time. Six-time NBA champion, five-time NBA MVP,  10-time All-NBA First Team, Nine-time All-Defensive First Team, 14-time All-Star; All-Star MVP (1988, '96, '98);  Two-time Olympic gold medalist, Basketball Hall of Fame Class of 2009.

He was not able to speak until he was almost 4 years old and his teachers said he would never amount to much - Albert Einstein (10 honorary doctorates, nobel prize in physics, 5 different medals)

She was demoted from her job as news anchor because she "wasn't fit for television" -Oprah Winfrey (1 academy award, 15 daytime Emmy awards, 3 primetime Emmy awards, 1 Tony award)

At age 11 he was cut from his team after being diagnosed with a growth hormone deficiency which made him smaller in stature than most kids his age - Lionel Messi (1 time FIFA world player, WC golden boot, 1 time World cup golden ball, 3 times UEFA best player, 3 times world soccer player of the year, ...)

At 30 years of age he was left devastated and depressed after being unceremoniously removed from the company he started - Steve Jobs (co-founder, chairman & CEO of Apple Inc, CEO Pixar, founder, Chairman & CEO of NeXT)

His fiancè died, failed in business, had a nervous breakdown and was defeated in 8 elections - Abraham Lincoln (16th president of USA)

A teacher told him that he was too stupid to learn anything...and that he should go into a field where he "might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personality" - Thomas Edison (described as America's greatest inventor. Developed the phonograph, motion picture camera & electric light bulb)

Rejected by Decca recording studios who said "we don't like their sound..they have no future in show business" -The Beatles (best selling band in history, 10 Grammy awards, 15 Ivor Novello Awards)

"Fate has not woven its meshes about any human being so firmly that he need remain helpless and in uncertainty. Opposing circumstances should create a firm determination to overcome them. The breaking down of one barrier will give greater ability and courage to go forward. Press with determination in the right direction, and circumstances will be your helpers, not your hindrances." Ellen G. White

So don't quit before your story ends, and do not die while you still live, for things tend to get worse before they get better. Look yonder!! Behold, there is a bright light at the end of the long dark tunnel. Hark!! Tis the glad voices of rejoicing; awaiting your arrival at the gate of success!

The author is a member of the Critical Thought Group, and a business economist in Kampala.