How to deal with annoying relatives

Dealing with annoying relatives means first understanding that you don't have to believe them, react to them, or agree with them at all, though chances are you'll be frustrated and annoyed a lot.

If you do speak, wait before you reply. Take a deep breath and wait before speaking.

1. Sometimes the person will move onto another topic without skipping a beat, saving you the trouble.

2. Giving yourself a moment allows you to think before you speak prevents you from overreacting or saying something you might later regret.

3. Have some responses worked out ahead of time to the annoying questions you know you'll be asked.

Repeat the annoying thing they said. Repeating what someone says to you is the best way to let them know they were heard.

1. Listening is a skill, and repeating what they say can show them not only what they said, but how it feels to hear those words.

Change the subject. If your relative is being super annoying, try changing the subject or ask them a question, out of the blue.

When you speak, be respectful, genuine, and diplomatic. When you do decide to speak, answer respectfully and only to the detail you wish. When they ask you questions, try to answer authentically if and when you can.
Learn to listen better. Listening isn't just waiting until another person is finished talking.

Avoid trigger topics, yours and theirs. Maybe you know that your cherished political beliefs differ from your relatives', or that your body piercings and blue hair make your grandparents cringe. When you can, temper your perspectives and if possible, your appearance, just to keep the peace.

1. Try to avoid sensitive or provocative topics; instead, suggest useful alternatives.

2. If they say something to you, good or bad, just say thank you and move on.

3. Don't argue with them all the time. Arguing with another person is what creates conflict.

Choose your battles wisely. Not every strange, awful, rude or ignorant thing they say needs to be corrected.

1. If they say something mean or odd about someone you care about or love, you will probably want to stand up to them, so prepare some answers and comments ahead of time.

If you need a break, take one. Needing a break from a person is not a flaw, and you can duck out of the conversation if you need to by excusing yourself and then returning when you have had a chance to collect yourself.

1. If you need another break, take it! Repeat as necessary. Maybe you're trying out having a conversation where before you would have avoided it, or ignored it.

Know your limits, and defend your boundaries. Knowing what will trigger your impatience, anger, or sense of annoyance in advance is the first-step to taking control of your well-being.

1. If you can, ask the person to not discuss that topic/issue, or let them know you haven't forgotten their question and will answer when you can.

2. If they press you, say nothing and change the topic.

Let it go, and walk away. If none of the techniques above work, just let go of the conversation and walk away.

1. Not replying is still a reply, one saying "This is too unpleasant a topic to deal with."

2. Walking away shows you respect yourself and that you can "live and let live." Move on!