Sort your bedroom issues! Orombi cautions against divorce

Divorce and separation is not a solution to challenges in marriage, the retired Archbishop of Church of Uganda Henry Luke Orombi has said asking married couples to resist from it. 

He made the call while speaking to members of the Young Marrieds Fellowship (YMF).

YMF is affiliated to All Saints Cathedral, Kampala the traditional seat of the Archbishop of Church of Uganda. Orombi said the consequences of such a decision hurt more than the problems that the couple initially faced. 

"I would like to tell you that many people who are separated might show a brave face but ask counsellors, I know that they are nursing wounds too bad to heal. They are never the same and I will not advise someone to go all that way," said Orombi. 

He advised that before matters get that far, couples should address symptoms that could lead to divorce, rather than waiting till it is too late. 

"Marriage is not a one-off. You are going to live with this man for so long. Women, if you learn to keep your needs within his means, I can tell you that you will have a better married life.

Learn to offer your husband food when he needs it, sort out the bedroom issues  and open the door to the husband's friends  so that they  feel at home when they visit you and  you will have all your husband for good," he said before advising them not to place excessive demands on their husbands. 

He said unreasonable demands by a wife can stress out a husband leading to domestic violence.  

The Orombis have been married since 1972.

"Extra demands on a man put him under so much pressure and could make him roll up his sleeves and want to flex muscles. Know the limit to your demands," he counselled. 

He advised married couples to always guard against third parties in their marriages as these have been known for destroying most marriages. Orombi warned the couples to watch their words as they can complicate some of the challenges they face. 

"Your tongue can aggravate a situation or calm it down so when using it, you must be aware of its consequences," he warned.

He also cautioned husbands against extra-marital affairs saying they only complicate problems in marriage further.  He also blamed handling of finances and competition amongst the current generation of married couples as some of the issues that have killed most relationships. 

"What women want is attention. They want to be with a man in body and soul and you have to be there. Be honest with them so that they trust you. Remember that it is a woman who makes a house a home so make her part of you," he counselled men. 

According to various sources divorce cases rarely go to the courts of law. However the family court currently has 185 divorce cases. Only 11 of these cases have been concluded so far.