My husband sold land to drive me out of marital home

By Andrew Masinde                        

Nakimera (not real name), 47, a resident of Kamanda village, Lwamagwa sub-county in Rakai district says her 17-year marriage was not a bed of roses.

Her husband battered her every night he came home drunk; whenever he knocked on the door, children would scatter and hide under the bed. He would beat anyone he found in his way. He demanded to be served meat yet he had left no money.

She had six children for whom she endured the suffering as Nakimera could not leave them behind. 

"When he saw I was going nowhere, he started selling land without my consent and when I intervened, he beat me up," she narrated.

"What hurt me most was beating me infront of our children. I ran away with the children one night when he threatened to kill me. That was how I ended up becoming a single mother and much as life is not easy, at least I have freedom and peace," she explains.

Like Nakimera, many women are faced with similar situations. A 2007 study by the Uganda Bureau of Statistics showed that about 70 per cent of ever-married women aged 15 to 49 had experienced some form of violence by their partners.

The report further states that 60 per cent of women aged 15 and above experienced physical violence, 15 per cent of women face violence during pregnancy and 24 per cent report that their first sexual encounter was a forced one.

Yvette Alal, a Program Officer Center for Domestic Violence Prevention (CEDOVIP), defines domestic Violence as a violent confrontation between family or household members involving physical harm, sexual assault, or fear of physical harm.

She says, family or household members include spouses, those dating, adults related by blood or marriage and those who have a biological or legal parent-child relationship.

The violence may not happen often, but may remain a hidden and constant terrorising factor.

Participants registering for free medical check up

Forms of domestic violence

Diana Prida, a legal officer with Platform for Labour Action (PLA) says there are five forms of domestic violence.
 
They include domestic relationship which is a form of violence between people living together in a home setting.

"Such domestic relationships covered by the law include; a relationship between a wife and husband; divorced and separated persons, a relationship among family member or relatives, where the victim and the person who caused the domestic violence share or shared the same home.

Prida explains that another form of domestic violence is economic abuse. She says this is where a person causes hardship to the victim by taking away money or a financial assistance which the victim is supposed to get according to law or custom. She says it is common yet mostly ignored. This assistance or money may have been ordered to be paid by the court or that which the victim needs to survive.

"Taking away property owned by the victim such as goats, cows, agricultural produce, land; refusing to pay rent for a shared house, refusing to provide for the family members by not buying food and other things needed for the day to day running of a home," she says.

Isaac Arinaitwe, the programme officer advocacy and community development (PLA), says emotional, verbal, psychological abuse is another form where a person always hurts the victim's feelings and mind, looking down upon them, shaming, abusing, name calling, making threats which cause fear, and controlling them jealously such that they lacks freedom, independence, movement, privacy or security.

He adds: "That another form is physical abuse which is most common is where one physically harms or injures another causing danger to life, health, and body.

These include; beating, slapping, pushing, kicking, knocking, and tying with ropes and use of threats and force."

Prida explains that sexual abuse and other related acts such as rape, defilement and indecent touches on the breasts, buttocks, exposing and showing the person's private parts are another form of domestic violence.

Effects of domestic violence

Alal says victims of this vice often experience physical and emotional problems that can endure and worsen if they are not addressed. The overall impact of domestic violence also depends on the individual's natural reactions to stress and ways of coping with stressful situations.

She says children who witness the battering of their mothers demonstrate significant behavioural and emotional problems, including mental disorders, stuttering, nervousness and fears, sleep disruption, excessive crying and school problems.

"Most boys who witness their mothers being abused by their fathers are likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.

Witnessing violence between one's parents or caretakers is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behaviour from one generation to the next.

Even girls develop a maternal believe that it is normal to be abused by their husbands and may tolerate abuse as adults," she explains

She adds: "The long-term effects of child sexual abuse include depression and self-destructive behaviour, anger and hostility, poor self-esteem, feelings of isolation, difficulty in trusting others my result to children running away from home."

Alal says emotional and psychological abuses are likely to have longer term impacts which may be more costly to treat.

"In most cases, the abused are at a greater risk of committing suicide. Sometimes the victims may also experience Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) which involves physical harm or the threat of physical harm, which may arise to recurrences, disturbing images, nightmares, anxiety, emotional numbing and insomnia," she explains.

Arinaitwe says the physical abuses are varied, but the abused are known to suffer physical and mental problems as a result of domestic violence.

"Many of the physical injuries sustained after physical abuses seem to cause medical difficulties as victims grow older. Stiffness, hypertension and heart disease have been identified by abused persons as directly caused by aggravated domestic violence in their early lives of adulthood. Injuries caused may not be treated because many feel too much shame to seek help," he explains.

"Victims may experience physical injury such as cuts, discolorations, broken bones, head injuries, internal bleeding. Chronic pelvic pain, stomach complaints, frequent vaginal and urinary tract infections, sexually transmitted diseases which can cause long term effects on the victim," Arinaitwe explains.

What to Do

Prida says victims should not stay silent; they should come up and seek support of caring people. "Tell someone you trust about the abuse. They may be your friend, a family member, a neighbour, a co-worker, or staff members of support agencies. Talk to them in a private, safe place. You do not need to face abuse alone," she says.

"If your partner is abusive, have a plan to protect yourself and your children in case you need to leave quickly. You have the right to be safe! You are not responsible for violent behaviour! No one deserves to be beaten or threatened!" Prida adds.

She explains that when you are asked to appear in court, be on time. Bring all your paperwork. Do not bring your children. Talk directly to the judge, not the respondent. Tell the truth. Be polite, sincere, and speak clearly. Bring police reports, photos, and affidavits.

Costs of domestic violence

Domestic violence has a negative impact on production and prosperity, fuels the HIV epidemic (National HIV& AIDS Strategic Plan 2008-2012) and reduces economic development of each nation as reported in the UN Secretary General Report on VAW 2007. 

According to CEDOVIP report on the Economic cost of Domestic violence (2012), every year; Uganda spends sh77b; individuals spend sh21b while Police, health care workers and courts of laws spend sh56b to address domestic violence.

The Uganda Demographic Health Survey 2011 also indicates that 56% of women between ages 15 to 49 experience physical violence while 28% experience sexual violence every year. 

Yet, defilement also remains the leading sex related crime reported in the country with a total of 7,690 cases according to the Police Crime Report 2011 compared to 7,564 cases in 2010 despite the amendment of the Penal Code Act and the coming into force of the Domestic Violence Act 2010.

The officials were addressing hundreds of Kampala residents who attended a Free on spot Legal Aid Clinic and Health Service Provision event in Kamwokya and other surrounding areas. It was organised by PLA in Partnership with Community Health and Information Net-work (CHAIN) Organized

This formed part of the activities to mark the 2015 International Women's Day Celebrations. As a result 20 legal cases were registered, 246 tested for HIV/AIDS and counselling, 95 Hepatitis B, Breast & Cervical Cancer screening 113 & SMC – 10, family Planning, safe Male Circumcision.