By Patrick Katagata
Things and people aren’t always what they seem or how they are presented. Life comprises important and urgent as well as not important and not urgent calls.
Looking at what’s playing out in the political scenes and the sour social relations and the hard economic returns, there is a great need for relationships censorship.
We need the wisdom and serenity of mind to guide us on what to do, when, with and to whom, how and why! Choices have consequences but this fact is often ignored.
It is true as of social relationships, business partnerships as with political alliances. Our life and aspirations follow a sequential stair case which ought to be trodden carefully.
Often we are plunged into undue regrets and anxieties simply because we didn’t meticulously ponder the possible implications of our thoughts and deeds.
Many times for most of us, our choices follow from our crude and illusionary imaginations, feelings and emotions and whims and pressures from our families and cohorts. We judge and treat people and perceive reality as they’re presented to us by our folks. But people and senses may deceive.
Driving on tarmac road on a hot sunny day, one will see a pool of water ahead and on getting to the particular spot, there is no water. It is called mirage.
That is how deceptive senses can be! When it comes to people, we need to know that their views or even counsel may be subjective, purely in their own interest.
Therefore, it is important that we clearly discern whether what we imagine or what people tell us about others and ourselves rhyme with objective reality.
Acting from subjective views may injure relationships and work.
We need to ensure thorough consultations, sufficient interactions about and with the people we work or relate with and draw logical assessments before take certain decisions, adopt certain relationships or engage in certain activities.
If we don’t do that, we’re bound to under-estimate or over-estimate their interests, motives and potential or even weaknesses, causing disappointments, antagonism to say the least!
The danger this has on relationships be it social, political or economic is that no strong association can be founded on lies, bias and struggles. Soon, everything might crumble!
Two of the people who shaped my dreams of the future by close interaction outside my family are: the Late Francis Bantariza (former Buhweju MP); and Mzee William Mukaira, the proprietor of Valley College in Bushenyi.
The two taught me to be patient and strategic in life. Bantariza taught me, “not to rush with life” while Mzee Mukaira always told me and my colleague students to “hold on”.
It is about 20 years now but their counsel remains alive in my mind and guides my life!
For most young, vigorous and ambitious people but generally as with most people, patience is a big test on their personal restraint.
You want to make quick money, drive executive cars, hang out in posh places with the ‘coolest’ babes and be a man like others, but your financial muscle is still slim.
And you are managing your parents’ resources or someone else’s business where you handle big transactions involving big sums of money, will you resist the temptation to embezzle or defraud the business?
Will a cute young lady who gets sexual advances from men as much as she blinks yet she’s from a poor family resist the temptation to give in and miss out on the money?
Yes I know that some aspirations close with age limit but must you wreck your life because you fear for physiological or political menopause?
The writer is an alumnus of the Institute for National Transformation (Uganda)
How times change many