The Bunjos are held together by a string of love

 

The couple shared their experience of marriage with Samuel Lutwama

 

Before he got saved at the age of 17, Apostle John Bunjo, had a boyish fantasy of what his  future wife would be; perfect. However, he later settled for three qualities he could not live without.

 

“I wanted her to be God-fearing, industrious and pleasing to my eyes, in that order. God first, value-addition second and then beauty,” he says with a grin. 

 

Consequently, Sarah was the woman destined to be his wife. He first met her in 1992. By that time, the pressure on Bunjo to find a wife was gaining momentum. 

 

He says he had no experience in dating before Sarah came into his life, perhaps because of his Christian beliefs. Bunjo explains that because he was saved, he could not engage in premarital sex. 

 

At the time they met in 1992, Sarah had just come out of an abusive relationship and was single. She was also fervently praying to God for a husband. Sarah also prayed for a Godly family, where Christian virtues would reign.

“My husband was a product of prayer,” Sarah said.

 

She adds that she was swept off her feet the moment she laid her eyes on Bunjo, who was serving as a pastor in a church in Najjankumbi. 

 

The Bunjos got married at Full Gospel Church in 1993 and hosted their guests to a reception at Ggaba Beach.

 

The couple’s ministry has been a success because they have used their past failures to minister to those in broken relationships. 

 

“I like relating with the people I minister to using my personal experience — both my strengths and weaknesses. In essence, I am an open book for all to read,” Bunjo said during the interview at his comfortable home in Naalya, a Kampala suburb.

 

Sarah came from a background that dented her self-image and for that reason, she craved restoration.

 

Indeed, the couple have lived to the billing of their ministry tag of restoration with the Christian Restoration Ministries International.

 

Bunjo says their marital journey has not been smooth.

 

In the beginning, our different backgrounds influenced the way we behaved towards each other.

 

Bunjo was brought up by a single mother, who tried her best to raise him into a well-adjusted person. 

Although his mother had limited resources, she tried her best to provide the basic necessities for her son. 

 

Bunjo says when they got married, he knew he was not just falling into a bed of roses and that a lot of  work had to be done to make their marriage work.

 

He adds that over time, God has taught him the mystery of marriage, particularly how He knits people from different backgrounds together into holy matrimony. 

 

“We have learnt to share our hurts and confess our personal failings with the help of God’s grace.”

 

Bunjo says their marriage has passed through the potter’s hand to be moulded into what it is today.  

“We both came into this marriage with personal issues, which needed to be dealt with by God, through constant submission to His will,” he says.

 

Bunjo adds: “Sarah was beautiful and hospitable with a big heart, but when she got angry, she would yell at everyone and she constantly had mood swings.”

 

In the early days of their marriage, Bunjo got spiritual insight that helped him to solve the puzzle and live amicably with Sarah. He came to realise that his wife’s behaviour stemmed from the abuse she had suffered first as a child and later as a wife.

 

Armed with that insight, he made checks and balances in his own character, which helped to enhance their marriage and ministry.

 

Bunjo says he told his newly-wedded wife that he forgave her in advance. 

“I knew that what lay ahead of us would not be smooth sailing. In the process, we were bound to step on each other’s toes. Thus, I had to arm myself with a forgiving heart,” he says, adding: “I have not been a perfect husband either.

 

I have stepped on my wife’s toes, but because of the love and the grace of God, we have been able to stay together for 20 years. Love has kept us going.” 

 

Bunjo explains that love is the string that holds couples together, regardless of the challenges they might face.

He explains that it is the string of love that produces patience and perseverance amid seemingly insurmountable challenges.

 

“When I look at Sarah and think about the value she has added  to my life in 20 years, a sense of satisfaction engulfs me. I am consistently reminded that I married a spectacular wife, who has been able to bring out the best in me, my family and ministry,” Bunjo says with a grin. 

 

He urges those intending to marry not to go into marriage for convenience. “Most of the failing marriages started out of convenience,” he says, adding that a marriage will fade when the thing that cemented it fades.

 

Bunjo says the Bible talks clearly about the difference between family and church ministry. “The Bible cautions in 1Timothy 3-5: If a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of the church of God?”

Therefore, according to him, the first ministry is his family.

 

Bunjo believes that he first has to win honour in his home as a good husband and father to his children. He reckons that many pastors’ homes have been sacrificed at the altar of failing to balance marriage and church ministry.

 

Sarah’s woes started at the age of six months when her mother abandoned her. As a result, she was brought up by an abusive step-mother, who crushed her self-esteem. 

 

“My step-mother always used strong words against me. She always told me that I would never amount to anything,” she recalls.

 

One of the reasons Sarah went into her first marriage was to prove to her step-mother that she would become something. Regrettably, the marriage ended on the sad note, but the lessons she learnt helped her in her second marriage.

 

For 10 years, she was crippled by low self-esteem. Therefore, she needed someone who would love her and heal the emotional wounds that emanated from her childhood abuse and the previous relationship.

 

Before Bunjo came into her life, things had not been easy for Sarah, who had just left an abusive relationship. 

Because she had desperately craved security, Sarah ended up cohabiting with a man who showered her with lots of promises of love and comfort, but delivered only abuse.

 

As a cohabiting couple, Sarah and her first husband started from scratch, but they managed to upgrade their social status by building a decent house and buying cars.

 

However, even with the acquired social status, Sarah remained a very insecure and emotionally-bruised woman at  home. 

 

“We had a nice house, cars and other things that would make someone think twice before throwing in the towel. But deep down within me, there was an emptiness that could only be filled by God,” she recalls.

Like many people trapped in abusive relationships, Sarah kept hoping that her partner would change, but that did not happen.

 

“I was accustomed to the wealthy lifestyle and the thought of leaving him was quite challenging,” she recalls.

However, she kept feeling a strange power directing her life. 

 

As the abuse intensified, she realised that she could not handle the situation on her own. Therefore, she decided to seek solace in the church, where she became Born-again.

 

However, that was just the beginning of a series of challenges that awaited her. 

“The moment I got saved, the relationship drifted from bad to worse, until I reached a point of quitting with my children,” she recalls.

 

Her husband became more abusive as he demanded that she denounces her new faith or she quit the relationship. The latter was what she had wanted all along.

 

“I had to make a choice; either  be trapped in an abusive relationship that was endowed with material things or pursue the unknown.”

 

Sarah moved out into the unknown world at a time when her husband had promised to take her to Mecca for Holy Pilgrimage. 

 

Sarah endured a lot of challenges that taught her to completely depend on God. 

“For over two years, I struggled to make ends meets for me and my children. Life was extremely hard,” she reminisces.

 

When the going got tough, she resorted to picking food in the market, from which she made a meal for her children.

At that time, she buried her emotional pain by doing what she thought was a ministry given to her; she would scrub toilets at the church and later go back home with an empty stomach. 

 

However, she says she used to get a lot of joy in doing what she thought was a ministry from God. 

 

With time, she felt she needed a husband after God’s own choice. She started praying fervently for one. 

 

“I read scripture which said that a man should find a suitable partner for himself and the two become one in holy matrimony. So, I started praying, asking God to let my future husband find me.  

 

“Some people taunted me, saying I was crazy, but I had absolute faith that God would answer my prayers; and He did. My husband was a product of my fervent prayer. We have been married for 20 years, which have been years of purpose-driven living,” she says.

 

Bunjo recalls an incident three years ago, when his wife testified about how God has used him to heal her emotional wounds. 

 

It was during the annual divine encounter conference of 2010 at the Christian Life Church, which was held under the theme emotional healing. 

 

Sarah, who was one of the main preachers, thanked her husband for standing by her for seven years when she was hard to get along with because of her difficult past. She revealed that during that time, she was suffering from emotional wounds which made it hard for her to love and accept to be loved. 

 

“But through it all, my husband loved me anyway,” she said, before kneeling at the pulpit to thank him. 

 

“It is interesting that God requires the husband to love his wife, but the wife is required to respect her husband.

 

In most cases, no woman marries a man she does not love. However, it is sad that many wives lose respect for their husbands after they have been together for a while, which brings friction in marriage,” Sarah adds. 

 

Sarah is the founder of Abigail Ministries, an outreach programme for women. She has counselled people in broken relationships and helps in restoring relationships on the verge of break-up.

 

Sarah says she uses her real-life experience when ministering. The mother of five knows how to use her past to relate to others who are going through a difficult situation. 

 

“I am an open book for everyone to read and learn,” she said.