Phina Mugerwa breaks silence on Cindy and Ken

By Joseph Batte

It was the worst betrayal imaginable. Until last year, artiste Phina Mugerwa was very much in love with her South Africabased husband Kenneth Muyisa, the father of her four-year-old son Sandton Muyisa.

She kept the long-distance relationship alive for five years by often travelling to South Africa to make up for the lost time. In what has turned out to be a ‘twisted’ piece of irony, last year Ken ditched Phina for another artiste Cindy Sanyu.

Sordid details were splashed in the papers but she kept a dignified silence. Now that the stormy waters have calmed, she gives her side of the story.

You two were very much in love. Or so we thought. What happened? (Sighs and takes a deep breath) I have never come out to explain what happened.

There are reasons as to why I did not. I will explain that later. Although ours was a long-distance relationship, we were husband and wife.

Ken is based in South Africa. He often came to Uganda and sometimes, I travelled to South Africa to make up for the time we had been apart. Last year, I visited him and used that opportunity to have heart-to-heart talks with him about us as a family and plan the future of our son, Sandton.

 I advised him to construct a house because he does not own anything in Uganda. Thereafter, I boarded a plane back to Uganda.

Three weeks later, he followed me. One morning, I woke up and my eyes were greeted by pictures of him having fun at Garden City and splashing money around like crazy.

Did you talk to him about splashing money?

I was downright furious. I called him and said: ‘What are you doing recklessly throwing money around like that when you know I need it badly because I am taking care of our child?’

 At the time I really had financial problems. I could not even afford to buy milk for our son.
Ken told me he was having a good time with friends but was not sleeping around with any woman.

The following day, I read in the papers again that he was in love with Cindy.

How did you react to the news about his relationship with Cindy?

To tell you the truth, I did not see that coming I was so devastated, I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. (Tears well up in her eyes and she cries). The whole world at the time caved in on me. Many, many times I felt like a fool. I lost sleep trying to decode what Ken had done to me.

I asked myself why. Why did he say he loved me, yet all along he was just dragging me along?

What really hurt me most was how badly his affair with Cindy affected my son Sandton. He saw the news on TV and saw me cry all the time.

I tried to hide away from him when I was crying but to no avail. I will never forget the day he saw me cry and asked: “Mum, don’t you think what dad is doing bad? Is it what’s making you cry?” I tried to lie to him, but he is so intelligent, he knew it was his dad to blame.

The worst bit that almost wrenched my heart out was when he told me that his fellow pupils heckled and laughed at him, saying his dad had abandoned me for another woman.

Long-distance relationships require effort, dedication and endurance – it’s not for the faint-hearted. You sound like you had genuine love for Ken.

Yes. I loved him so much. This is a man I even wrote a song for.
 

It’s called Gyogenda. All the five years he was away in South Africa, I always prayed for him. It’s true long-distance relationships are painful. There are constant temptations that you have to fight against.

Cheating is way too easy. But I did not mind about the distance. I did not care what he did in South Africa. I tried to be a good, faithful wife and waited for him.

The whole of Uganda knows that I am not a player. Several times he thought he could trap me by sneaking into the country, knocking on my door very early in the morning hoping catching me cheating on him.
But each time, he found me cuddling my son Sandton in our bed

Couples always try to save their marriages. Did you try to sit him down to try to win him back?

I tried several times. But Ken is a very proud man who thinks he can do whatever he wants and you have no right to tell him what is wrong or right. He thinks he is cleverer than you and your opinions don’t matter.

He is the kind of man who thinks he belongs to the high class that not even his son belongs to that class. I read in the newspapers that it was Cindy who stopped him from seeing me and taking care of my son.

How did your parents react when they learnt that Ken had ditched you for Cindy?

My mom feels very bad about it. Today, she still blames herself for giving me the go-ahead to marry a player who broke her daughter’s heart.

She always says: Omwana wange nze namukiriza okugenda nekyisajja ekyo (I gave my daughter my blessing to marry that man).

Were you surprised that Ken and Cindy fell for each other?

I was not surprised at all. The two are a match made in heaven. Ken lives in bars. He sleeps in bars and the following morning he is swept out of the bar like bottle tops and rubbish.

The same can be said of Cindy. She is a party animal who is always in the news for the wrong reasons.
She is either drinking too much, smoking marijuana, or breaking up with men and posting nude pictures of herself on the internet.

Both of them have never grown up. You sound like you are still hurting

Yes. I am. But my hurts should not be confused with love. What really hurts me is the fact that I don’t have money and I am struggling to bring up Ken’s son on my own.

How can he go around town showing off that he is billionaire and spend huge amounts of money like that, live in a fancy apartment with Cindy, yet sometimes I don’t have money for rent?

When his son Sandton often takes tea without milk?

I read in the papers Cindy saying one of the reasons that Ken left you is because you were not good in bed?

Both of them are stupid if they said that. To make good passion fruit juice you must know how to prepare it. I’m not surprised at the way the public perceives Cindy.

 It seems every time they go to bed they tell the world what they did last night. She has crossed the line.
She should remember that whatever she does or whichever man she hooks, Chinese or Mzungu, she will always be an African.

Why did you take long to break the silence? Is there any truth to what was written about you? Why have you come out now?
My mom taught me to always take my time before reacting. It helps me think about what I am a going to say. I am a musician, a mother who inspires many people. I have finally come out so that others can learn from my experiences and know how to handle their issues.

There are so many women out there who are going through the same problems like me. Strangely, what I have gone through is what Cindy experienced during her marriage with her Mzungu man.

The difference is that I kept quiet, while she dragged her man to court and spilled all their bedroom secrets. I would never do that.

Who do you blame? Cindy or Ken?

Cindy hurt me so much. Actually I have never been hurt like this before in my life. She attacked me a lot in the media. She used her sister to hurl abuses at me on Facebook. I never reacted to any of their provocations.

I don’t blame Ken for what he did. He is not a kid anymore. People don’t get ‘stolen’ into an affair. They willingly plan, collude, choose and act to get involved in an affair.

Cheaters choose their affairs. Ken chose to ditch me for Cindy. When I tried to talk to him out of it, he said he knew what he is doing — he was enjoying life.

Do you let him see his son?

I used to allow him. He would even spend some days with them. But whenever Sandton came back, he told me things that made me regret and swear never to allow him to visit him again, as long as Cindy was his wife.

My son says his father introduced Cindy to him as his mother. And that they kiss in his presence. I felt bad because I brought him up as a good kid with good manners. I never wanted him to see that.

Ken and Cindy are certainly going to read your interview. What message do you have for her?

She should grow up. Let her tame herself. She is not the first person to hook a man or be hooked. For that matter she should respect the father of her kid Mario, the way I respect Ken. What happened to me can happen to her. She should watch out because Ken is the same man who broke my heart.

If he could disrespect me, the mother of his kid, what about her?

And to Ken?

Next time he gets a woman and has a child with her, he should respect her. He is not the first man in the world to get money. Today you have the money, tomorrow you don’t. Whatever money he has, he should not forget his responsibilities.

He is the father of my son. He should take care of him. Nobody will do it for him. But if he thinks he won’t be able to, I will play the role of father and mother. I am already doing so.

We all make mistakes. If Ken came back to you and apologised for all the grief he has caused, wouldn’t you give him a second chance?

Came back and said sorry? Sorry for what?

I lost interest in him. Even if he is the billionaire he claims to be, I don’t need him back in my life. His phone calls even stink in my ears. I can survive without him.

He is no longer the Ken I used to know. He is too public, too classless, too cheap, he is no longer my dream man. He no longer has the features I like — he is not faithful, he is a party animal and a drunko.

He is like a plate I abandoned after a pig ate from it. In short, the Ken Muyisa I used to know, is dead.

Will you manage to be a single mum?

Don’t you think you will need his support? I’m a hardworking woman who has been hustling to get where I’m today. I won’t let the heartbreak drag me down. Although I don’t have millions like him, I am willing to die for my son. Sometimes we must let go of the life we had planned, to accept the one that is waiting for us.

By going through the intense pain, I have eventually surfaced as a stronger person ready to tackle problems head-on. Soon the pain will lose its hold over me. God will find me a better man. Maybe he has already done so.

You have gone through very tough time emotionally. Who are the people that have helped you pull through?

I would like to thank Joanita Kawalya of Afrigo Band and my mum. They have always provided me with a shoulder to cry on and advised me.

My son Sandton and my maid have been my comforters. Skyline International School where Sandton studies have helped counsel my son. They understand the situation he is going through. If I fail to pay school fees in time, they don’t send him away. They always wait patiently until I pay.

Quick Facts

Phina Mugerwa is one of the most entertaining female artistes in Uganda, renowned for comfortably combining singing with lithesome energetic dancing on stage and in her videos.

Cindy Sanyu breezed onto the scene with blu 3.

She has gone on to establish herself as one of Uganda’s talented young divas.

Kenneth Muyiisa is a moneyed South Africa based Ugandan football player, who boasts a collection of expensive cars that include BMWs, Range Rovers and convertibles.

He has cultivated himself a reputation as a party animal.

The Lessons Phina has learnt

1 Men are unpredictable. He loves you today and chucks you for another woman the following day.

2 Being in love is amazing, but I have learnt that it’s very dangerous to love a man with all your life. You can run mad.

3 Never abandon your kids no matter what problems you get. They are innocent.

4 Most importantly, I have learnt that not all that glitters is gold.

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