The strange things that happen when the rains come to Kampala

By Kalungi Kabuye
 
A friend of mine told me about a certain corporation that brought in an international consultant to determine why Kampala’s streets are full of traffic jams after it rains.
 
After a lot of money and quite a good amount of time, the consultant called a meeting of the company’s board and senior management and explained, in awed tones, how most people in Kampala stop everything they are doing as soon as it starts raining, and wait till it stops.
 
So, most strangely, drivers park their cars till it stops raining, and then everybody is on the road, hence the traffic jams. Now I understand the consultant is spending even more money and time to explain this very strange behaviour of Kampala drivers.
 
If only those people had asked me! I’ve been going on and on over the years how silly it is that Kampala drivers park their cars when it rains. How silly can that really be? And I’ve told elsewhere of the cab guy I called to pick me up from where I was stuck because of the rain, and he exclaimed “… but it’s raining”!
 
I have seen it happen many times, but I didn’t know personally any one that did so, till my friend Nancy posted on Facebook how she was stuck in her car because it was raining. Fifty comments later she explained that, anyway she really was in no hurry to get anywhere. Yeah, right.
 
Kampala used to be a relatively dry city; really t-shirt country, as I like telling folks when I’m in outside countries. But of late (is that what they call global warming?) the climate has changed. We would have a storm but after 10 minutes the sun would be out and life goes on.
 
But these days it rains and lingers on drizzling for hours, and it really turns cold. Monday was about 16ºC, which used to be like Kabale on a bad night. And that means strange things have started happening.
 
First, much of Kampala’s economic activity is in the informal sector, and the rest is properly in services. So that vendor trying to use the fact that the police and the KCCA guys don’t work in the rain, will also find that the customers do not buy stuff in the rain, too. So Jennifer Musisi does not have to fight hawkers and vendor anymore; just wish it rains, that will chase them off the streets fast enough.
 
Someone complained that our economy is being held hostage by all these traders buying cheap stuff from China and filling all those arcades with it. When it rains Kampalans do not shop, so the traders will be left with plenty of unsold goods. Hopefully next time they will of something better to do with their money than take the cheapest flight to China.
 
Then there is Kampala’s famous night life, which usually happens outdoors or under open roofs. Once it starts raining like it has, and turns cold like it did on Monday, nobody is going to go there. So management will be forced to build closed places, and KCCA and NEMA will no longer have to close places because of noise pollution. Let it rain, and they will soundproof those places themselves.

It has also changed Kampala’s dating scene. Social media these days is full of females complaining how it is really cold, and Inboxes are full of offers from males to help in all kinds of ways. And there is no going to that kafunda in the rain, it’s all straight home, baby.
 
If that highly paid consultant reads this article, he would have learnt that the reason Kampalans wait for the rain to stop, is that it used to do just that after about ten minutes, then life would go on. My invoice is in the mail.