You can benefit from rejection

Dr Love: Hilary Bainemigisha

If I were Pastor Kayanja or any other soothsayer, prophet, palm-reader, giraffe or the growing mass of betting advisors, who peep ahead where others cannot see and whisper to the short-necked civilians what will happen in the future, I would say the following.

Today, we are going to be thumped by Zambia 3-1 in the Africa Cup of nations qualifiers. Many will be happy with the away goal, which will be scored by …, for details, I need cash.

But that defeat will pose for us a stiff return leg, which pessimists will use to write us off - only because they have not read what I want to say.

Losing a tournament qualifier is like being dumped by a lover you really had great interest in.

Depending on how you are bundled out, some make a scene, others fight, threaten suicide or violence, many look for scape-goats and end up blaming the Movement, while others start regretting the investment they have put in so far.

For whatever you will or can do, you are forgiven because it is your time of insanity. Rejection is an ass, ask Singh Katongole. 

But blame will come if, after all your initial humiliation scene, you continue into the long run, wallowing in misery and self-pity. That actually qualifies you to be a loser and I do not want you to infect our team, the Cranes.

In my football prediction, the Cranes will return with more serious vigour to overturn the result. That is what I would wish for you too. Being dumped is actually a valuable lesson for you to make a self-appraisal, learn from the mistakes, get creative and enter the next relationship a little wiser.

Researchers have actually discovered that for independent-minded people, rejection can be a good thing, boosting creativity and imaginative thinking.

Scientists testing college students’ need for uniqueness, made some of them feel rejected by telling them they were not selected to be part of another group. All participants were then asked to do super imaginative things like complete word associations or drawings of aliens. The researchers found that participants who valued being unique did better on the tests after experiencing rejection. And vice-versa.

So, for an independent person, rejection boosts courage, determination and other aggressive traits that enable them to storm the next opportunity and to beat Zambia thoroughly, enough to overturn the result.

So, use your rejection as a launch pad for a better person, a better result and a better victory.