We shared a house but abstained

By Samuel Lutwama

Denis Katongole and Tendo Tabel, a.k.a Titie, fell in love in 2006 and wedded last year. Katongole is a former Bukedde Radio presenter while his wife is a local musician.  The couple of a boy and girl, shared their love story.

Early encounter

Denis Katongole  and Titie first met in 2006 at a local radio station where they both worked as radio presenters. “I had a special attraction to Titie,” Katongole recalls. “She was stunning and I longed to make her my friend. We started as friends, sharing past love experiences,” he adds.

Interestingly, both of them were nursing ailing relationships and were desperately looking for a soul mate.

“I was in a long distance relationship which was not working. My boyfriend had been abroad for over three years. Katongole told me he was looking for a way out of his relationship because he was not happy.  As we interacted, we developed interest in each other and before we knew it, love had sprouted,” says Titie. However, Denis says Titie did not take him seriously in the beginning. “But as time went on, she got convinced.”

Titie says she opened up her heart to Denis because of his persistence. “Denis could do anything, however outrageous, in the name of winning my heart. For instance, he often came to my apartment and we would chat in the car till the wee hours.” 

How would you describe yourself?

Titie

I am a strong, hardworking woman, dependable, trustworthy and principled. I cannot easily be arm-twisted into something I don’t agree with. But sometimes, for the sake of striking a balance, I give in.

Denis

I am a simple, down-to-earth person, open-minded with a free heart.  I love politics, but sometimes I have to compromise my love for politics because my wife hates it.

What if your spouse was different?

Titie

I believe that even if Denis was a wheel-barrow pusher, I would still fall in for him. 

Denis

I didn’t go for her because she is a singer, but I think destiny brought us to work together. Although she was a celebrity then, she was down to earth, loving and had no greed for money.

And she was obsessed with her job, so I thought that if she could love me in the same way, then I would be a lucky man.

It so happened that whenever I was committed to someone, I would give in all my heart and I wanted the same for myself.  In fact, since I met her, she has been nothing, but a blessing to my life.

Abstinence till marriage

Titie

We took a Christian approach from the very beginning and I would like to advise all Christians and those intending to get married to emulate what we did. By the time Denis and I met, we had committed our lives to God and we knew about the biblical principles of no sex before marriage.

Although we stumbled at the beginning, we got back on track until we got married. However, it was not easy, but we all know what God expected of us.

It was challenging when we started co-habiting.  At that time, both of us were unemployed, so we could not afford to rent two houses. In spite of all that, we persevered. For instance, Denis would sleep in the sitting room on the couch as a way of dealing with our feelings.

One thing I realised is that sex is psychological and with a sound mind, one can easily control their feelings. Nonetheless, we soldiered on till the day we wedded at Namirembe Christian Fellowship Church.

Denis

At first we had sex, but later, we stood our ground because we knew that what we were doing was not right before God and that is how we decided not to have sex before marriage. It was a hard decision, but our relationship with God deepened.

On finances

Titie

Finances are important in our marriage. We realised that if we could agree on finances, most other things would be easy and that has worked out.

Denis

My wife and I have no secrets when it comes to our financial in flow and outflow. We plan and spend the money as a couple. We also disclose our finances to each other and ensure that we tithe individually and as a family. 

Coping with challenges

Titie

Denis is more interested in drama while I have a passion for music. We realised that marriage is about sacrificing certain things for the sake of your partner. During the last parliamentary campaigns, I campaigned with him, much as I don’t like politics.

But that meant that I had to forgo shooting my TV programme for one month and that was a great sacrifice for me, but I did it.

Marriage is not about what you get, but what you give. My job as a TV hostess, radio presenter, being a wife and studying equally challenging. Fortunately, my husband is always there to give a hand.

Denis

At the beginning, I was obsessed with her. For instance, whenever she happened to go out of the country, I would think that she had gone to meet her ex-boyfriend and that always made me insecure.

Qualities that make a spouse

Titie

Denis has always gone out of his way to do things to please me. Such acts motivate me into reciprocating. For example, I forfeited my TV programmes for one month and stood with him as he campaigned last year.

Denis

I believe that unless you have a supportive spouse, it is difficult to achieve your goals. I married a woman who is a passionate and talented musician, so I had to support her.

Surprises and heartbreaks

Titie

Denis is fond of surprising me with small romantic gifts. Sadly, however, he forgets about my birth day and that always hurts me. But I accepted that.

Denis

At home, Titie does all the talking. Interestingly, outside our home, she is so reserved and speaks less.  I was wondering whether she would manage a TV talkshow because she seemed reserved. However, I was wrong.

On music and politics

Titie

Unlike what most people think that my song, Serulungi, off my latest album is about our love affair, it is not.  It is a love song that was composed by someone else. I rarely sing about our love life.

Denis

To those who still doubt my political resolve, I have one massage; I will be back in 2016 for the Kayunga Baale seat.

Sex and faithfulness

Titie

During our courtship, we leant the hard way the consequences of sexual sin and if sex is misused, it can destroy a happy relationship.  To us, sex is an expression of love towards each other, not a weapon of manipulating the other in anyway. And since we got married, we have been committed to each other and we will remain so.

Denis

We agreed to be open to each other and not sweep any issues under the carpet. Whenever we have anything to discuss, we look for the easiest way to talk things out before it escalates into a cold war.

On marriage

Titie

I knew marriage was a lifetime commitment and we both wanted to honour God before anything. We sought my parents’ blessings at the introduction ceremony and then proceeded with the wedding. My mother was happy about our decision of a simple wedding. However, we still believe that one day, we shall make something big. 

Denis

Ours was to put God first above everything else. We knew that marriage was between the two of us, with God as the central figure. 

The engagement

Titie

In 2007, Denis requested me to compose for him a song which reflected what was going on in his relationship and how desperately he wanted to break away.  The song was called Kankute, loosely meaning let me leave you.

Denis 

I wanted a song that would portray what was on my heart  so that I could close the chapter and begin a new life with someone I felt I truly loved, and that person happened to be Titie.