In marriage, give more than you expect to receive
Apr 28, 2010
I cannot wait to tell you this. The next time you meet me, pay attention to my clothing. You will notice a badge. I did not buy that badge; it was given to me by Sunrise Rotary Club to signify that I am now a member of Rotary International.
I cannot wait to tell you this. The next time you meet me, pay attention to my clothing. You will notice a badge. I did not buy that badge; it was given to me by Sunrise Rotary Club to signify that I am now a member of Rotary International. And, unlike those whose minds are focused on the premier league, politics and gossip, Rotarian Dr. Love now thinks of nothing but service.
In Rotary, we were told, you have to give society more than you get from it. So, next time I am insolvent, the Government should act faster than it normally does when Basajjabalaba becomes bankrupt.
And, come to think of it, don’t you think that this rotary motto is good for marriage? Give more than you expect to get! Don’t shake your head! Don’t you pay NSSF?
Remember when you got married, or those who are planning to. We all came into the institution with specific expectations. Men expect a wife who will not stop them from watching Man U’s penalty favours from refs, who will produce children and nurture them without disorganising their programmes and one who will not grow as fat as politicians’ election promises. Women, on the other hand, expect a man as romantic as Kitooke (Haruna Mubiru, Eagles Production singer) but who can still spell the word FAITHFUL; one who will pay their bills and not have relatives in the squad.
We rarely plan what we intend to give without hinging them to a return
What happens? You discover too late that your husband has cut off the head of your marriage. You rush to court looking for justice and you are told the evidence is not enough. Society just looks on as you stand a man who takes to the bottle, uses the stick more often and broadcasts his seeds in neighbourhood gardens.
Men may find wives who want to be maintained expensively, who make it their duty to wreck all the neighbourhood families with lugambo and who will never lose an argument. In fact, it rarely occurs the way you want it. You have to adjust or marriage will look like NSSF where you only give by force and only get out when they are reading your funeral speeches.
But it does not have to appear like that. Take marriage like a bank account. When you come in expecting to get from it and not planning to deposit in it, you hit a dead end sooner.
You know what drawing without depositing does. But a couple, which comes in determined to deposit regardless of what it gets from it, eventually builds the account into a lasting and dependable foundation and a platform from which to dive into a wealth of fun and old age.
Many marriages need an intravenous injection of Rotary’s service principle. When you resolve to serve the marriage with all the good you can manage, without hinging what you give to what you can get from it, you will leave no room for disappointments, frustrations and disillusionment. Even your incongruent partner may get converted by your unrelenting selfless contribution. And even if beloved remains put, their selfishness will not affect your satisfaction because you gave your all without tallying it against what you may gain in return. If you are reading this, you are most likely human. And for humans, this may be difficult. But I am afraid I cannot help you further; I also need to concentrate on being Rotarian.
I wish it was as simple as donning a badge. Well wishes from Rotarian Dr. Love.
In Rotary, we were told, you have to give society more than you get from it. So, next time I am insolvent, the Government should act faster than it normally does when Basajjabalaba becomes bankrupt.
And, come to think of it, don’t you think that this rotary motto is good for marriage? Give more than you expect to get! Don’t shake your head! Don’t you pay NSSF?
Remember when you got married, or those who are planning to. We all came into the institution with specific expectations. Men expect a wife who will not stop them from watching Man U’s penalty favours from refs, who will produce children and nurture them without disorganising their programmes and one who will not grow as fat as politicians’ election promises. Women, on the other hand, expect a man as romantic as Kitooke (Haruna Mubiru, Eagles Production singer) but who can still spell the word FAITHFUL; one who will pay their bills and not have relatives in the squad.
We rarely plan what we intend to give without hinging them to a return
What happens? You discover too late that your husband has cut off the head of your marriage. You rush to court looking for justice and you are told the evidence is not enough. Society just looks on as you stand a man who takes to the bottle, uses the stick more often and broadcasts his seeds in neighbourhood gardens.
Men may find wives who want to be maintained expensively, who make it their duty to wreck all the neighbourhood families with lugambo and who will never lose an argument. In fact, it rarely occurs the way you want it. You have to adjust or marriage will look like NSSF where you only give by force and only get out when they are reading your funeral speeches.
But it does not have to appear like that. Take marriage like a bank account. When you come in expecting to get from it and not planning to deposit in it, you hit a dead end sooner.
You know what drawing without depositing does. But a couple, which comes in determined to deposit regardless of what it gets from it, eventually builds the account into a lasting and dependable foundation and a platform from which to dive into a wealth of fun and old age.
Many marriages need an intravenous injection of Rotary’s service principle. When you resolve to serve the marriage with all the good you can manage, without hinging what you give to what you can get from it, you will leave no room for disappointments, frustrations and disillusionment. Even your incongruent partner may get converted by your unrelenting selfless contribution. And even if beloved remains put, their selfishness will not affect your satisfaction because you gave your all without tallying it against what you may gain in return. If you are reading this, you are most likely human. And for humans, this may be difficult. But I am afraid I cannot help you further; I also need to concentrate on being Rotarian.
I wish it was as simple as donning a badge. Well wishes from Rotarian Dr. Love.