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Bishop Magambo must apologise to the married

By Vision Reporter

Added 21st October 2010 03:00 AM

THAT couples in troubled marriages should divorce? This is the saddest statement I have ever heard from anyone, least of all a clergyman.

Deo Tumusiime

THAT couples in troubled marriages should divorce? This is the saddest statement I have ever heard from anyone, least of all a clergyman.

For former Ankole Bishop William Magambo to front such a suggestion is absolutely careless and he must apologise to all the married people in Uganda.

I have come to realise and appreciate that marriage is a school in which those enrolled learn daily yet never become professionals. It is an institution where we explore our true being and share our best and worst moments.

No one can claim to have the keys to what some people call a successful marriage because different marriages are blessed differently — and what works for one person may not work for another. Whatever the case may be, at the end of the day, everyone deserves to venture into this noble institution.

I have been married for three years and I must say that despite a few challenges, it has been worth it.

There will always be times when the mood is low — and this is absolutely normal — but couples must always focus on the good rewards of marriage rather than capitalise on pettiness.

Many times we hear stories of people who have been killed because their spouses found love messages on their phones or because they were found chatting with people of the opposite sex or at times it is out of mere suspicion.

I now appreciate more than ever before that marriage is not meant to be some kind of prison. Someone will obviously pick interest in you or your wife whether you like it or not.

The only difference is in the ability of the tempted party to develop the strength to protect herself and the marriage. Sometimes, I pity ladies because they can receive over 20 proposals from men daily. The women might not even know some of these men. So, what are they to do in this situation?

Everyone was created with a natural mechanism of discernment. Interestingly some of the men hacking their wives to death over infidelity are themselves perhaps the worst infidels.

I encourage people to work hard to protect their marriages because there is always a reason why they chose each other in the first place.

There is something more: As soon as a child comes into the picture, marriage gets more interesting and gives the couple a reason to make things work out. For example, there are things that used to defeat my wife and I, but today our daughter Nichol provides us with the solutions. In fact, she has played a key role in bringing us closer.

She is always keen to find out where I am at a particular moment, what I am doing or where I am going. Even when I offer someone a ride, she is always keen to inquire: “Who is this? Who is his/her mum? Where is his/her home?” Who would want to defy such innocence?

As such, for the former Bishop to make such an exaggerated suggestion is terribly unforgivable, especially that he ought to understand the dynamics of marriage more than many of us the laity.

Perhaps, now the advice of a colleague from the Bahai Faith makes more sense; that people should be left to investigate the truth on their own now that they can read and write.
Yes, leaders like Magambo should be shunned because they seem to be misguiding God’s flock rather than performing their good shepherd role.

The writer is a media consultant

Bishop Magambo must apologise to the married

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