You want another rap?
Nov 04, 2010
Recently, after an exhaustive marathon, very different from the MTN one this weekend, I was asked: You want another rap? The answer, according to the President’s rap, is supposed to be: Yes!
Recently, after an exhaustive marathon, very different from the MTN one this weekend, I was asked: You want another rap? The answer, according to the President’s rap, is supposed to be: Yes! Yes! But for us men, when you are panting and thinking of sleep, that question can be worse than meeting Kazahura the car robber, face-to-face.
But before I go there, for some of you who do not know, a hit has stormed the country, and might probably end up becoming an icon for next year’s elections. It is called You want another rap? It is sang by none other than His Excellency, the President of this republic, the flag bearer of NRM. I first heard it naked — I mean without rap clothes (experts call it an acappella), where the President was chanting without instrumentals in the background. Soon after, Steve Jean added in a rap track to make us visualise a head of state in a recording studio. And before the dust settled, DJ Shiru made it a ragga beat, spicing up the imagination of a Museveni jumping around on stage.
In the rap and ragamuffin versions, the President’s two chants are joined by his voice asking whoever-it-is whether they wanted another rap. Then the ‘crowd’ answers: Yes! Yes!
According to the song, the President asks again at the end of the track and, even after the crowd answers yes twice, the tune fades and ends.
It is assumed that for good things, beneficiaries will always ask for another rap. King Mswati III, has just been given another rap in Virgin Inkhosikati LaMahlangu, who became his 15th wife. So you wonder what happens to him when all the wives ask him for another rap! How many raps would the lion of Swaziland afford?
Recently, when his Justice Minister and childhood friend Ndumiso Mamba was found singing another rap with his 12th wife, Nothando Dube, 22, the ‘Yes’ became the sentence that forced him to resign, be jailed and face the nation’s anger and disbelief.
President Mugabe, 86, also seems to have faced the question more frequently than he could answer yes and as a result, there is rumour in the country that his 41-year-old wife has been rapping with the governor of the country’s central bank.
Experts blame polygamy and cross generation sex in the above respective examples. But there are more cases of lesser beings who cannot answer the question in their marriages with the mandatory yes. Our forefathers were sly. They made the bedroom environment so hostile that the wife would never ask such a question. In some tribes, women were circumcised to make the question virtually impossible. Today, there is more emancipation and more women increasingly know their rights. And they often ask. You pity poor men of today, who feed poorly, sit at desks all day without exercise, too busy thinking about making more money, being asked to run marathons like Kipsiro. Do you still wonder why Otunnu preferred single life?
Yes can become difficult! And when it happens, the fear that the rapper may choose alternative listeners or defect completely like UPC stalwarts becomes inevitable.
But what do you do when you cannot answer yes?
Simple! Answer no!
But you must follow it with an explanation that it has nothing to do with your quality of emotions but nature’s unfair treatment. Promise better performance next time. And instead of turning the other way to plunge into the pool of sleep, use the opportunity to show romantic emotion and probably help your partner to overcome the rapping emotion. You two may fall together to sleep in a stronger bond than was possible while rapping.
And if you are the rapper whose audience cannot answer yes, be patient. The network can be lost anytime, it is a fact of life and can happen to you too. Do not be accusative or speculative. Understand the loadshedding and calm down the mute partner. But above all, block the temptation of rapping offshore. And even if the situation becomes perennial, seek expert intervention as a pair before you declare defection to a more energetic political party.
But if you must rap and you need a yes crowd urgently, then discuss it with your stakeholder. Sometimes the inevitable happens. When you choose a partner badly, you may have to let go when you cannot afford their engine capacity.
So, in conclusion, I have a question; do you want another rap?
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug
But before I go there, for some of you who do not know, a hit has stormed the country, and might probably end up becoming an icon for next year’s elections. It is called You want another rap? It is sang by none other than His Excellency, the President of this republic, the flag bearer of NRM. I first heard it naked — I mean without rap clothes (experts call it an acappella), where the President was chanting without instrumentals in the background. Soon after, Steve Jean added in a rap track to make us visualise a head of state in a recording studio. And before the dust settled, DJ Shiru made it a ragga beat, spicing up the imagination of a Museveni jumping around on stage.
In the rap and ragamuffin versions, the President’s two chants are joined by his voice asking whoever-it-is whether they wanted another rap. Then the ‘crowd’ answers: Yes! Yes!
According to the song, the President asks again at the end of the track and, even after the crowd answers yes twice, the tune fades and ends.
It is assumed that for good things, beneficiaries will always ask for another rap. King Mswati III, has just been given another rap in Virgin Inkhosikati LaMahlangu, who became his 15th wife. So you wonder what happens to him when all the wives ask him for another rap! How many raps would the lion of Swaziland afford?
Recently, when his Justice Minister and childhood friend Ndumiso Mamba was found singing another rap with his 12th wife, Nothando Dube, 22, the ‘Yes’ became the sentence that forced him to resign, be jailed and face the nation’s anger and disbelief.
President Mugabe, 86, also seems to have faced the question more frequently than he could answer yes and as a result, there is rumour in the country that his 41-year-old wife has been rapping with the governor of the country’s central bank.
Experts blame polygamy and cross generation sex in the above respective examples. But there are more cases of lesser beings who cannot answer the question in their marriages with the mandatory yes. Our forefathers were sly. They made the bedroom environment so hostile that the wife would never ask such a question. In some tribes, women were circumcised to make the question virtually impossible. Today, there is more emancipation and more women increasingly know their rights. And they often ask. You pity poor men of today, who feed poorly, sit at desks all day without exercise, too busy thinking about making more money, being asked to run marathons like Kipsiro. Do you still wonder why Otunnu preferred single life?
Yes can become difficult! And when it happens, the fear that the rapper may choose alternative listeners or defect completely like UPC stalwarts becomes inevitable.
But what do you do when you cannot answer yes?
Simple! Answer no!
But you must follow it with an explanation that it has nothing to do with your quality of emotions but nature’s unfair treatment. Promise better performance next time. And instead of turning the other way to plunge into the pool of sleep, use the opportunity to show romantic emotion and probably help your partner to overcome the rapping emotion. You two may fall together to sleep in a stronger bond than was possible while rapping.
And if you are the rapper whose audience cannot answer yes, be patient. The network can be lost anytime, it is a fact of life and can happen to you too. Do not be accusative or speculative. Understand the loadshedding and calm down the mute partner. But above all, block the temptation of rapping offshore. And even if the situation becomes perennial, seek expert intervention as a pair before you declare defection to a more energetic political party.
But if you must rap and you need a yes crowd urgently, then discuss it with your stakeholder. Sometimes the inevitable happens. When you choose a partner badly, you may have to let go when you cannot afford their engine capacity.
So, in conclusion, I have a question; do you want another rap?
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug