Same day, same cake, same honeymoon

By Maurine Nakatudde

Twenty-five years ago, two brothers wed two relatives at the same church, on the same day, cut the same cake at the same party in the same home and spent the honeymoon at the same place.

They are Peter Nyombi, the Buruli county MP, and, the Rev. John Senyonyi, the Vice-chancellor of Mukono University. Born in Luwero, Nakasongola district, the two brothers grew up exhibiting different traits and nobody imagined they would remain as tight in their adulthood.

“Peter used to be very smart, while I was the opposite,” Senyonyi says. “He was my role model in terms of education. He always set his mind on what he wanted to achieve. From Nakasongola Primary School, he set his mind to study from King’s College Budo, and he did. In fact, he was the best pupil in the whole district. I was naughtier and Peter always calmed me down. Sometimes a fight would break out amongst the boys I played with and he would be the one to stop it.”

Nyombi, the first born of the family, admits that they were somewhat different. “John was a bit naughty and was caned more times than me,” he says. “One thing I still remember and laugh at is that when he was caned, John would fall on the ground and feign death. Our parents knew his tricks and would just laugh at him.”

He adds that Senyonyi’s success in life was due to a transformation he got as an adult. “In primary, John was a bit playful and lazy with his books. But when he reached secondary, he became very serious. He joined Makerere University for his degree. Later he went for his Masters in Australia and then a PhD, which is commendable.”

The brothers grew up together, climbed trees, ate mangoes, and played banana fibre balls. Nyombi completed his education and started taking care of his siblings. Senyonyi graduated two years later and went to Melbourne, Australia for further education.

“Peter was the only one I was communicating with at home and in return, he would deliver my messages to the rest.”

Nyombi adds that up to now, Senyonyi is his close friend. “Besides my wife, he is the first person I inform about big decisions I want to make. When I decided to stand for the elections, he was the first person I talked to for advice. Very rarely do I do anything without contacting him.”

That is how the two ended up marrying on the same day. Nyombi says he first saw his wife, Juliana, singing with the Escatos Bride choir at a convention in Kyambogo. “She clearly stood out in the choir. After the concert, I approached her but she avoided me. I didn’t give up but gathered enough information about her. I also informed my brother about her. I sought her out and we became lovers. That is how I met Ruth her friend.”

Senyonyi met Ruth because she was a friend to Juliana, his brother’s girlfriend. That time, both were singing in the same choir called Joint Heirs.

“Peter and I were walking along Parliamentary Avenue when we saw a young woman Peter knew. I picked interest and later, when I returned abroad, we kept in touch through letters and on phone. While in Australia, Peter told me that he was going to wed. I asked him to wait for me and we do it together.”

Nyombi says he welcomed the idea. “A joint wedding would save resources. We were brothers and my wife was related to Ruth. Ruth’s uncle was married to Julian’s sister.”

They wedon April13, 1985 at Namirembe Cathedral. The rest as they say, is history.

Ruth Senyonyi, Counsellor BOU
Every woman dreams of being the centre piece at her wedding, how could you accept sharing attention with another bride? I didn’t think about it that way, I loved John and wanted to be with him - that was all that mattered. And I was a very shy person at that time. So it was not as if I really wanted the limelight. Juliana, the other bride, was and still is my great friend. We prayed, sang in a choir and did many other things together. So, the four of us agreed to have one wedding. It was fun. We dressed up from the same place and sang a song together at the wedding. Even at our 25th anniversary, that’s what happened.

What is the secret of your success so far?
Commitment, love and respect; but most of all the fact that we both love the Lord is very important and keeps us on track.

Any challenges?
Challenges come whenever there is something to adjust to, for instance, changing jobs. Like when he became a priest and we moved to the US, having children, new house-helps or moving house.

How do you cope?
Communicating as a couple has kept us in line. We talk a lot about everything and we choose to agree or disagree. We are open and free to discuss matters.

But doesn’t a priest for a husband require you to maintain very high standards?
What do you mean by high standards? I married a saved man and expect to keep standards high. He is a wonderful man and loves the Lord very deeply. I respect him for that.

But are men of God romantic?
I do not know about other men, but mine is very romantic. He loves to play, gives me hugs and other stuff that I will not disclose. Ha! Ha! Ha!

But you can’t hang out as romantic lovers in a public place
Well, we may not hang out but we like eating out as a couple and with our children or siblings and their spouses and children. We also check into a hotel when we want to have rest and privacy.

How do you manage to share your man with the public?
At first it was hard but, with time, I realised that he had a great calling. He is a great preacher and God uses him. I no longer see it as sharing, but a ministry. God has called him to serve His people and I am only too glad to be a part of that.

The Rev. Dr. John Senyonyi, the vice-chancellor of UCU
A reverend, a professor, a chancellor, a husband and a father! How do you manage?
I just do it.

How?
I always put my wife and family highest on the agenda. If I lose a family, I can’t get another, but for a job I can get. But that does not mean I neglect my work. In fact they often complain that I don’t rest. I still consider meals and especially supper to be very important, so when my children are on holiday, I try to have meals at home.

But with the demanding work, …
Yes, but I like going home early. I spend between two to six hours with my family. Sometimes it is family and work: a couple of hours in the evening. As for my wife, even during work, we call each other.

You wedded on the same day with your brother; how close are your families?
We spend a lot of time together. We meet very often and we talk about anything. His children are mine and vice-versa. This also applies to my other siblings’ children. I believe very strongly in African culture. I don’t like the reference of cousins. I want my children to regard their ‘cousins’ as brothers and sisters. Whatever hurts them hurts us.

You really take family as important!
It is. Family gives children a sense of belonging and identity. It also strengthens our individual marriages and families. Whenever I meet any of my brothers, I have to ask about their wives. Meeting together also has a spiritual aspect: we pray together and later have fun together.

If you found your brother’s wife in a compromising situation, what would you tell him?
Naturally, I would find a way of telling him because it can eventually explode. But I would be very discreet in doing so.

Have you ever compared notes on how either of you is faring?
No, but when my siblings are going through a situation, we are there for them. But I cannot say we don’t have a formular of doing it.

Juliana K. Nyombi, TASO
Don’t women want exclusive attention on their wedding? Why did you give up yours?
It was not easy in the beginning because we also wanted an exclusive wedding. But when we sat down and talked about it, we agreed. It was unreasonable to have separate weddings since I and Ruth had the same people and same friends. And, anyway, the most important thing was for God to be glorified in our lives through our wedding.

Are you still friends with Ruth?
Yes, we are. Our relationship has grown stronger and God is the one who has kept us together. Not only Ruth, by the way. We are close with all the wives of my brothers-in-law and their sisters are our friends. At times, on Sundays we dine together. On New Year’s Day we go to our parents while Christmas Day we are always together.

But with that closeness, doesn’t Dr. Senyonyi interfere too much in your affairs?
No! None of us interferes with each others’ homes. But on a personal level, those brothers really have a good relationship. Sometimes, when there are issues, they may be really hard on each other, but these don’t tear them apart. It seems to bring them together.

Our research shows that many wives of MPs are disappointed with their husbands! What is your experience?
My husband has been there for both the children and me. He always visits them at school and is always involved in their activities. He is also the greatest provider at home. We always have supper together. Sometimes when he is travels for official duty, he takes me along. We also pray and read the Bible together everyday.

You mean you have had no challenges with a busy husband?
I don’t see any. I am busy myself. I cherish my work. My job entails me to visit all our 11 centres. Sometimes, I’m away for three days and I have never heard him complaining. We are both busy but we find time for each other.

Would you want him to stand again?
I don’t have any choice about that. My husband has a passion to help people. He has always supported me. He never stops me from travelling up country. Why wouldn’t I support him in whatever choice he makes?

Do you discuss the policies they debate in Parliament or influence the way he votes?
I make my comments whether for or against. We don’t have to argue about it. I just let him know how I feel about some things.

How involved are you? Do you accompany him to the constituency? If so, who stays at home?
Yes, I do sometimes. My children are now grown up. The youngest is in S.2. But even when they are at school, we have a very good relationship with my in-laws, they can keep them for a while. When they also travel together, we do the same for them.

Peter Nyombi, the MP of Buruli county
Why did you choose to have a joint wedding?
Why not? If your brother has a ready fiancée, there is no reason to have two weddings.

How close are you with the Senyonyis today?
We are very close. We had the same wedding. My wife and his studied together in the same class and same year. They were also members of the same choir, The Joint Heirs. My wife’s eldest sister is married to Ruth’s uncle. So, we are that close. Usually on Sunday, whenever we are free, we choose one sibling’s home and we all dine there.

But as a lawyer, a politician, a father and husband, how often can that be?
There are certain things that I make sure I do, no matter how tight my schedule is. This includes spending time with my family. My wife and I go out together often.

Do you ever share secrets about your wives?
No, we don’t. We don’t do anything behind our wives’ backs. If there is anything to discuss, each discusses with his wife. Secrets cease to be secrets when a third person comes in.

What challenges do you have in your marriage?
I cannot think of any. We always manage them. Our marriage is intact because we are committed Christians who love God and one another.

If you found your brother’s wife in a compromising situation, would you tell him?
I don’t want to imagine it. In fact, it can never happen since we are Christians.

What is most memorable in your marriage?
Everyday is memorable. As long as I can go home and I find my wife and children, it makes me happy