By Harry Sagara
Have you heard? Mbu Miss Uganda, Aysha Nassanga is from Senegal. Kyokka people have lugambo.
The other day I met a group of friends whose names I will not mention because one of them is standing right behind me holding a high-heel shoe in her hand as I write this.
They were discussing Nassangaâ€™s nationality like they had nothing better to do.
They even bought drinks to wash down their throats this hot Nassanga news. How absurd!
In case you do not read the news, the rumour mill has it that Nassangaâ€™s nose looks like that of El Hadji Diouf.
Mbu her eyes glow like those of Rukia Traore, while her walk is just like that of Youssour Nâ€™dour.
When she came to the catwalk at Munyonyo, her attire was as flamboyant as that of Baba Maal and now I hear her dad is called Abubaker Cisse, a watch dealer in town.
There were also rumours that the soccer stars Djibril Cisse (Auxerre) and Aliou Cisse (Birmingham) are cousins to Nassanga. However, these rumours had not been confirmed by press time.
Trust Ugandans to raise hell over inconsequential issues. So what if she is Senegalese? She is so beautiful that I would drink her bath water. And by the way, I would not need to ask which nationality she was before doing that.
I spent the whole of yesterday gazing at Nassangaâ€™s portrait. I had it in one hand while in the other, I had that of Abdoulaye Wade, the Senegalese President.
What I was looking for was the slightest resemblance between the two. So, did I succeed? Nope! I actually saw a replica of beauty and the beast!
I now have to summon Nassanga to my bedroom so that I can carry out a thorough DNA (Desperate Nationality Approval) test. If I discover that she is actually Senegalese, I will advise her to become a Ugandan by (hold your breath) getting married to me!
Stop laughing, I know for a fact that once someone gets married to a Ugandan, they automatically become Ugandan.
So, madam Aysha â€˜Djibril Cisseâ€™ Nassangaâ€¦ think about it.
Well, whether the beauty queen is a cousin to El Hadji Diouf or a niece to Papa Boupa Diop is not the issue. I mean, we are all Africans and those xenophobic sentiments will not take us anywhere.
A Brit, William Pike, manages the Ugandan newspaper that carried the story of Miss Uganda being Senegalese while the contest was sponsored by two companies whose roots are in South Africa (MTN and Nile Breweries) and held at a venue that belongs to someone who originates from Asia (Sudhir Ruparelia)
.. waiâ€¦ waiâ€¦. waiit! Let me finish, The Monitor newspaper also carried this story and it was written by someone who is believed to hail from the eastern side of Mountain Elgon (Elizabeth Kameo) isnâ€™t that interesting? So whatâ€™s this hullabaloo about Miss Uganda being a Senegalese?
As saggy, I think we should be looking at each other as human beings living together in this world instead of pointing fingers depending on nationality.
I do not believe this crap of Miss Uganda being crowned in pomp and glamour.
The only Miss Uganda I know is the lady who will be the future Mrs. Saggy. I swear I will be crowning her every other day of our lives.
It will not matter whether she is Senegalese or not. See, I am actually Sudanese! Yes, my Rwandese and Congolese friends have told me so.
That said, I would like to announce that the race is open for Saggyâ€™s Miss Uganda pageant. The winner does not take a car. She takes me! I am waiting for the phone calls.
Miss Ug Senegalese? So?