Careful, friends can mislead you
Dec 28, 2003
RELATIONSHIPS! Both at home and school children can never be entirely divorced from relationships. These relationships can be between same sex or opposite sex
By Andrew Kironde
RELATIONSHIPS! Both at home and school children can never be entirely divorced from relationships. These relationships can be between same sex or opposite sex. Parents and teachers are often particularly worried about children’s peer relations.
Whether formally or informally adults seek to impose or negotiate rules and limits, adjusted over time, aimed at reconciling children’s freedom and security, protecting them from human and other hazards in their environment.
It is clear that significant proportions of your life are usually spent away from the family setting or away from the prying eye of a teacher. This necessitates a certain degree of autonomy in order for you to develop your own practices, values, confidence and competence in social interaction with peers, self-care and effective mobility.
Therefore friendship is a strong two-way affection based on strength of mutual liking and contacts in more than one setting (home).
Reasons for friendship:
Children tend to choose as friends people who are similar to themselves, as regards gender, race, academic, achievement, social class background, attitude to school and interests.
Friends are also significant sources of information, support and influence. they affect a child’s identity and self-concept by offering behaviour and ideas to imitate or react against, and by providing feedback and self evaluation.
Friendship may be based on similar experiences which enables facilitate mutual confiding and understanding. Therefore children whose parents are divorced or drink heavily find it helpful to confide in and compare experiences with others who have had similar experiences.
Problems in relationships:
Of course, there are often conflicts and mismatches of wants and expectations. One relates not only with one individual but within a wider social group.
Many children worry very much about losing friends when they go to other schools or levels (from primary to secondary or from secondary to college).
Some adolescents complain about friends who are nice when they are alone but horrid when others are present. Thus causing distress.
From a single sex school to a new mixed school. This affects girls more that it would for boys.
How to overcome these problems:
In order to sustain a close friendship in the early years, frequent meetings and meshing of interactive motivation and styles are required.
Disagreements are normal occurrences between friends, but compares with disputes between non-friends, these tend to be more calmly negotiated, generally without aggression. Use a standard formulae for seeking out reconciliation, such as an invitation to join in a game or go for a party.
Falling out with friends can be a primary cause of distress, but when close friendships end temporarily or permanently, other children are frequently the main confidants and sources of comfort.
Close relationships tend to become more stable. They also develop greater reciprocity, sharing and understanding of each other’s view points and emotions.
You should never underrate the importance of parents or adults in general .
Loyalty is a priced quality. Youngsters with stable, close friendships tend to have high self-esteem. Correspondingly, self confident individuals are usually more popular than others.
Always be loyal to stable friendships and have a high self-esteem.
The writer is a secondary teacher.
Kironde@yahoo.com
RELATIONSHIPS! Both at home and school children can never be entirely divorced from relationships. These relationships can be between same sex or opposite sex. Parents and teachers are often particularly worried about children’s peer relations.
Whether formally or informally adults seek to impose or negotiate rules and limits, adjusted over time, aimed at reconciling children’s freedom and security, protecting them from human and other hazards in their environment.
It is clear that significant proportions of your life are usually spent away from the family setting or away from the prying eye of a teacher. This necessitates a certain degree of autonomy in order for you to develop your own practices, values, confidence and competence in social interaction with peers, self-care and effective mobility.
Therefore friendship is a strong two-way affection based on strength of mutual liking and contacts in more than one setting (home).
Reasons for friendship:
Problems in relationships:
Of course, there are often conflicts and mismatches of wants and expectations. One relates not only with one individual but within a wider social group.
Many children worry very much about losing friends when they go to other schools or levels (from primary to secondary or from secondary to college).
Some adolescents complain about friends who are nice when they are alone but horrid when others are present. Thus causing distress.
From a single sex school to a new mixed school. This affects girls more that it would for boys.
How to overcome these problems:
You should never underrate the importance of parents or adults in general .
Loyalty is a priced quality. Youngsters with stable, close friendships tend to have high self-esteem. Correspondingly, self confident individuals are usually more popular than others.
Always be loyal to stable friendships and have a high self-esteem.
The writer is a secondary teacher.
Kironde@yahoo.com