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Thursday,November 15,2018 04:52 AM

Experts give advice to virgin brides

By Vision Reporter

Added 18th September 2009 03:00 AM

Hajat Hannifa Nalule, a counsellor of brides-to-be, says of her wedding night as a virgin bride: “I endured it like any woman goes through labour pains.” Today she advises virgin brides to relax. “Cringing causes bruises in private parts.”

Hajat Hannifa Nalule, a counsellor of brides-to-be, says of her wedding night as a virgin bride: “I endured it like any woman goes through labour pains.” Today she advises virgin brides to relax. “Cringing causes bruises in private parts.”

While virgin brides need pre-marital counselling, she says, they also need to inform their partners about their status and anxiety. The man may be on tension too and both of you need to support each other. If things are not ‘working’ for him, don’t ask him why, don’t blame yourself and don’t fret. Patience is the magic word.

The start of a sex life may come with pain, the rupturing of the hymen and bleeding. While the partner can be asked to go slow, Nalule believes the virgin has also to relax at the moment of initial penetration. Breathing in and out may help ease muscles, she advises.

There may be bleeding and things can get messy. But, culturally, this may be a significant testimony of your chastity and some people still preserve the sheets for presentation, with gifts, to the aunt in a solemn testimony. But if this has no cultural importance to you, you might want to put a towel underneath use your own sheets if you are afraid of bleeding on hotel sheets.

Bleeding may take a few days or even the second or third time you have sex. It’s perfectly normal. Keep yourself clean with a pad or panty liner until it stops. We all want to live up to the fantasies depicted in novels and movies but this is impossible the very first time. but it gets better with time. Dr. Primo Madra of UNFP advises girls to have the right mind set because sexual pleasure can be inhibited by tension. As for tears, Madra says, they heal naturally. If they don’t, visit a gynaecologist.

Dr. Julius Mugisha, a gynaecologist at Mulago Hospital, says the pain should not be exaggerated. The pain should not to make one gnash their teeth, he says.

Your very first time will not be the best. Even if your husband is the understanding sort, multiple expectations, vulnerability, redefinition of your personal space and all the things that marriage brings, the first time can make you very jittery.

But with time, things will get better. Remember, patience is important.

Experts give advice to virgin brides

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