I am 23 years. I donâ€™t enjoy sex at all. I take up to an hour to ejaculate. Sometimes I just get bored and give up. The girls I sleep with like it but it is so tiresome. Sometimes I even fear sex. Please help.
Delayed ejaculation, or failure to ejaculate is not common. Usually, you can ejaculate when you masturbate. But with a partner, you fail to ejaculate completely. At first your partners may like it.
But you donâ€™t enjoy sex. In a relationship, your partner may feel that she does not satisfy you. Having children may be a problem if you never ejaculate.
The problem is usually psychological. You find it difficult to relax and surrender yourself. People who are very emotionally controlled or brought up in very strict environments (e.g. strict religious upbringing), or think that sex is â€˜dirtyâ€™ or the vagina is unclean. Physical problems like backbone injuries, some drugs, and alcohol may cause it.
Currently, no drug will cure you but counselling can help. You get to understand what stops you from relaxing. You get â€˜homeworkâ€™ to have sex with your partner gradually, starting by masturbating, your partner masturbating you, until you can ejaculate into your partner. It takes time, needs patience and understanding on your part, and your partner, but it can be done.
Talk to a sex counsellor about it.
Dr. Paul Semugoma
Write to Editor, Total Man, The New Vision, P.O. Box 9815, Kampala or email@example.com
I take an hour to ejaculate