When she owns the wheels, she owns you

Oct 02, 2009

Many of us grew up knowing that a car was not a place for women. But today, many men drive their wife or girlfriend’s car. And some cars actually have a thumbprint on them: Miss Uganda, Miss MUBS, Miss Makerere, Miss St Lawrence, Miss Arsenal... Miss...

By Alex Balimwikungu

Many of us grew up knowing that a car was not a place for women. But today, many men drive their wife or girlfriend’s car. And some cars actually have a thumbprint on them: Miss Uganda, Miss MUBS, Miss Makerere, Miss St Lawrence, Miss Arsenal... Miss... Et al.

Women are generous: “Baby you can drive my car…” and off the guy goes. But why do I believe that driving a woman’s car comes with its own grand price? It may mean: “Honey, you should come home right after work lest you explain all the detours”.

Take her car and you are supposed to drop and pick her from work, wait for her unending shopping, pass by the salon and wait in the car as you become fodder for salon gossip.

You may be more of her chauffeur than her lover and your manners have to be right: Get out of the car, open her door, see her to the house door and remember to carry her shopping.

And woe betide thee if you are seen with a female passenger. She automatically becomes a prostitute and your chances of driving the car again are vanquished. A local DJ was almost torched together with the car!

He was lucky to escape with slight burns. But there is a bigger problem, something to do with men wanting to be in control of situations.

I would never publicly admit that the car I was driving was my fiancée’s. And when the car became an issue in a fight, I would abandon it for a taxi.

But Emmanuel, a banker, has no qualms. He has been driving her car for six months now. “If she can buy me a drink, why shouldn’t I drive her car and even get her to fuel it? It is my chance,” he says.

He claims to have entertained other women using his fiancée’s car and money. “I’m waiting for my 40th day to get caught, but I doubt it will never happen,” he says.

Catherine, a journalist, actually handed her car over to a boyfriend within months of meeting him. She believes the car accentuates his masculinity and does not want him to be seen as a loser.

“I give no rules. By the time I decide to take him as a boyfriend, I trust him enough to give him the car. Whenever I need it, I give him prior notice and he is okay with it,” she says.

Dr. Martin Sempa says in marriage, two become one and are supposed to co-own earthly possessions. The vehicle is for the common wealth of the home. He, however, advises that in our society, the woman should let the husband drive the car because she would not want her husband being called a loser.

“A secure woman should strive to promote and complement her husband’s public image and the simplest way to do that is to use the assets at her disposal.”

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